Breaking the Silence about Suicide, Grief & Family Survivors

Breaking the Silence about Suicide, Grief, & Family Survivors; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

Breaking the Silence about Suicide, Grief, & Family Survivors; www.DrChristinaHibbert.comI am no stranger to death and suicide. My sister died of an overdose of alcohol and acetaminophen in 2007, leaving behind her two young sons whom my husband and I are now raising. We’d already lost my brother-in-law to skin cancer just months before, and my youngest sister to kidney cancer when she was eight, not to mention grandparents, an aunt, and several others. Then, just a few months ago, my dear friend left her youngest child, my daughter’s best friend, at my house for the day, and then took her own life.

 

I don’t know why I’ve been so surrounded with death in general, and suicide, in particular, but so it is. And so it is I simply must write this article—because suicide is so much more complicated and messy than death, and we simply must start talking about it.

 

 

The hardest part about coping after suicide…

Several months ago, I published my memoir, This is How We Grow, about the years after the loss of my sister and brother-

My sister, Shannon, and I at ages 3 and 4. I miss and love her dearly every day.

My sister, Shannon, and I at ages 3 and 4. I miss and love her dearly every day.

in-law. Since then, I’ve received countless comments–online, in person, in book clubs, and in my private practice–from individuals and families who have experienced the sting of suicide and are trying now to carry on. They all say the same thing: “The hardest part about suicide is that I can’t talk about it. It’s supposed to be kept a secret. People don’t want me to talk about it.”

 

That, for me, is the hardest part of coping with the suicide of a loved one, too. It’s hard enough because you’re coping with death, and even harder because it’s a death you’re not supposed to talk about. Well, I’m done with that. I’ve started talking about my own experiences with suicide in my book, and I continue here. I mean no disrespect to anyone who feels they simply can’t talk about it yet. All I’m saying is, “I simply must do my part to break the silence.”

 

 

12 Truths About Suicide, Grief, & Family Survivors

 

The truth is we cannot heal, or help others heal, until we start talking about suicide. The following list shares some things I’ve learned, personally and professionally, about suicide. It’s just a small start, but it’s my hope these will at least get the conversation going. It’s time to break the silence and open the door to greater compassion, support, and healing for any and all scarred by suicide.

 

 

1)   It’s extra hard to handle death by suicide, because it’s not something people feel they can talk about. We can’t post on Facebook, “My friend killed herself,” like we can, “My friend passed away after a long battle with cancer,” or even “My friend was murdered.” It’s just not something we do, because we want to respect the deceased and we want to respect their family. Suicide feels like “a secret,” and, like I said before, for many, this is the hardest part. It makes it much harder to receive the support and understanding we need after suicide when we can’t even say the truth of how our loved one died.

 
 

2) “Suicide” carries a huge stigma–for the deceased, and for his/her family. There’s no denying this fact; we all know it’s true. Death by suicide carries a huge stigma. This is probably the biggest reason families feel the need to keep silent–they don’t want their loved one remembered for how they died; they want them to be remembered for how they lived.

 

 

3) Surviving family/friends often feel judged, or they feel like their loved one is judged. Let’s face it—with such a huge stigma surrounding it, people can be pretty judgmental about suicide. Too many people see suicide as evil, as weakness, as “taking the easy way out,” or worse. They say things like, “They were too weak to carry on, even though the rest of us are able to.” Everyone is entitled to his/her opinion, but I have to say it’s very hard on family and friends. The truth is an estimated “90% of people who die by suicide have a potentially treatable mental disorder at the time of their death—a disorder that often has gone unrecognized and untreated.” [i]

I see suicide differently than many, probably because of 1) my experiences working with suicidal clients and families of those who’ve committed suicide, and 2) my two dear loved ones whom I have lost. I know my sister and friend could not have been in their right minds when they took their lives. They were in pain, deep pain. This quote explains it well: “Suicide is not chosen; it happens
 when pain exceeds 
resources for coping with pain.”[ii] I have greater compassion when I can acknowledge this—compassion for them and for myself. There is always so much more to the story of suicide than we, or anyone, will ever know. We must stop the judgment.

 

 

4)   Suicide is isolating for surviving family and friends. Reading the above truths, is it any wonder? Feeling like Breaking the Silence about Suicide, Grief, & Family Survivors; www.DrChristinaHibbert.comyou can’t talk about the death, like you’re disrespecting your deceased loved one or other family members, or feeling judged and stigmatized can all make suicide a very lonely experience for family survivors.

 

 

5) The impact of suicide reaches far beyond the family. Often suicides end up on the news or at least as the “news” of the town. Even those who don’t know the deceased feel stunned by the loss, because it’s so tragic. Think about celebrities who have died from suicide (Heath Leger, Kurt Cobain, and as I finish writing this, Robin Williams). The world is saddened and heartbroken, and we don’t even really know these people. Suicide doesn’t just affect the parents or the spouse or the children of the deceased; it also tragically affects siblings, close friends, and any who are part of the deceased’s community. When my friend died, it felt like the entire community was grief-stricken. And the best part was that we came together in our grief. As we’ve been able to talk about what happened and be there for one another and for her family, we have found greater healing–together. That’s one reason I’m such a big supporter of breaking the silence on suicide. We need each other to heal.

 

 

6)   Suicide is traumatic, and this can complicate grief. Expeirencing the death of a loved one is hard and painful, but not all death is traumatic. Suicide is a trauma to family and friends. It is sudden, shocking, and sometimes, violent. Learning your sister or friend or loved one died by a phone call from the police is traumatic. It’s surreal, it’s unbelievable, and there is no preparation. As my husband and I said to each other, after my dear friend jumped to her death, “We couldn’t have been more shocked if she’d been murdered.” Suicide is a trauma, and grieving suicide can therefore be a long, complicated process. (Resources for Dealing with Grief, click here.)

 

 

7) How the suicide happens can make it even more difficult to cope with.  Details like whether someone was on drugs when they took their life, or whether they did so away from home so family and friends wouldn’t have to find them, versus publicly, or in a way designed to hurt others, can all make suicide even more traumatic and make coping with it even more difficult. My sister died as a result of too much alcohol, a sleeping pill, and tylenol. The knowledge that she was drunk when she took the pills somehow helps my family know she didn’t mean to do what she did, and that is a comfort to us.

 

 

8)  Anger is a huge part of suicide for surviving family and friends, and let me just say, “Your anger is justified.” It’s natural to feel angry when someone dies by their own hand, no matter how it happens. It’s natural to feel like, “This shouldn’t have happened!” I’ve had to deal with layers upon layers of anger toward my sister, and toward my friend. Your anger doesn’t mean you don’t love them. On the contrary, it means you love them very much and are trying to make sense of what happened and learn to forgive and move on without them.

 

 

9)  Guilt is a common emotion after someone dies from suicide. Even if you logically know it’s not your fault, it’s still common to feel or think, “What if…”–wondering what if I would have just stopped by, or called to check in, or been there when s/he needed me. This is another factor that makes suicide especially difficult for family survivors, and another complicating factor in grief.

 

 

10)   Suicide often leads to spiritual conflict in surviving family and friends. We may question “Why did this have to happen?” or rather, “How could God let this happen?” It’s a tragic loss, and that can lead to spiritual trauma that requires its own kind of healing.

 

 

11) Whether the suicide seemed accidental or not, surviving family and friends are left with the huge question, “Why?” Even in cases when a note is left behind, there remain many questions. For those who have no note, it’s likely there will never be any answers. As I wrote in This is How We Grow, “I have been filled with an abundance of ‘whys’ in my days. Some can be answered and provide deeper understanding, but many will never be answered in this life. Sometimes, in choosing to question ‘why,’ we choose to remain stagnant in our learning. We choose to stay in the dark–alone, frustrated, even angry.” (p. 32) Yes, the “whys” are often the hardest part of suicide.

 

 

12) We need to talk about suicide. We can’t allow it to be a secret family members are supposed to keep. We need to have compassion for not only those who feel so alone and in pain that they can’t carry on, but for their family and friends who are trying to pick up the pieces after they are gone. We need greater empathy for families of suicide victims. And yes, they are victims, because the truth is, anyone who feels so alone and desperate that they take their own life, is a victim. Families shouldn’t feel revictimized by others after the death. It’s time we break the silence of suicide. It’s time we decide to be there for one another with great love and compassion.

 
 

What do you have to say about breaking the silence on suicide? I welcome your thoughts, insights, and personal experiences. Together, we can stop the stigma and start the healing. Please, leave a comment below.

 

 
 

Suicide Resources:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Helpguide.org Suicide Prevention: How to Help Someone Who is Suicidal  

American Association of Suicidology: Survivors of Suicide Fact Sheet 

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: Coping with Suicide Loss

 
 
 

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Award-Winning memoir, This is How We Grow!
Available now on Amazon.com.

 
 
 

Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

FREE. Online. Growth. What more could you ask for?

 
 
 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

You may manage your subscription options from your profile.

 

 

 

Breaking the Silence about Suicide, Grief, & Family Survivors; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com
 
 

Let’s Connect…

“Like” my Facebook pages (Dr. Christina HibbertThis Is How We Grow) and follow me on Twitter,Pinterest, & Instagram!

 
 
 
 
 
 

Related Posts/Articles:

Dealing with Grief

Siblings & Grief

How do I Grieve? Grief Work & Tears

Grief & the Family

Grief & Children: What You Should Know 

5 Skills of Overcoming…Grief, PPD, Stress, etc.

Understanding & Overcoming Anger

FEEL: How to cope with Powerful Emotions

Women & Depression: 12 Facts Everyone Should Know

Postpartum Depression Treatment: What Everyone Should Know

Postpartum Depression & Men

Women’s Emotions: Part 3, The Menstrual Cycle & Mood 

Relationship Rescue

15 Proven Ways to Stress Less

12 Facts on Depression & Medication 

Parenting Skills Top Ten, #1: Do Your Own Work First

Discovering Self-Worth: Why is it so Hard to Love Ourselves?

Self-Esteem & Self-Worth

Practicing Patience: 20 Ways to Be More Patient Today

“This Is How We Grow” Blog Hop: 10 Ways I Choose to Grow Each Day

Personal Growth & Self-Actualization

Womens’ Emotions & Hormones– Series

 

 

References:

[i] Understanding Suicide, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention https://www.afsp.org/understanding-suicide

[ii] http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/ Suicide: Read this First

The Facts vs. The TRUTH about Postpartum Depression (+ video)

The Facts vs. The TRUTH about Postpartum Depression; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

The Facts vs. The TRUTH about Postpartum Depression; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

 

The fact is that Postpartum Depression (PPD) is real. I know, because I’ve experienced it four times, along with Postpartum Anxiety. That’s another fact: “Postpartum Depression” is often used as a catchall phrase for a whole spectrum of pregnancy and postpartum mood and anxiety disorders, including OCD, PTSD, and even Psychosis.

 

 

PPD: Fact vs. The Truth

As a clinical psychologist and expert on Perinatal Mental Health, I’ve definitely learned about, and seek to share, the facts on Postpartum Depression. I believe everyone should learn about PPD, because chances are either you or someone you know will experience PPD at some point (that’s another fact: as many as 1 in 5 will experience postpartum depression), and knowing the facts can make all the difference. If you want the facts about Postpartum Depression/Anxiety, the following links are a great place to start:

 

Pregnancy & Postpartum Emotional Health

Postpartum Survival Mode

Postpartum Depression Treatment

Beyond Depression: Understanding Postpartum OCD (part 1, plus video)

Postpartum Depression Treatment: For Dads & Partners

 

However, as a mother of six who’s experienced Postpartum Depression/Anxiety four times, and as one who has worked with pregnant and postpartum women for over 16 years, I know that sometimes, the facts don’t reflect the full truth about PPD.

 

 

20 Truths about Postpartum Depression (plus bonus video!)

The truth is Postpartum Depression is a life-altering experience, and if we really want to understand this experience, we must move beyond the facts and start talking about the truth. Here are 20 truths I’ve discovered about PPD. I hope you’ll learn them, share them, and then join the truthful discussion, below.

 

 

1)   It can feel like you’re all alone, but you’re definitely not. Postpartum Depression and Anxiety often feel isolating; it feels like you’re the only one feeling this way. The truth is you’re not alone. Most women will experience some change in their emotional health following childbirth (up to 80%), and one in five will experience a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder. Because of this, PPD has been called the most common complication associated with childbirth.

 

 

2)   PPD is not your fault. There are many risk factors that make Postpartum Mood/Anxiety Disorders out of your control, not least of which include: the extreme changes in hormones (women who are sensitive to hormonal shifts are definitely at higher risk), the insanity that is sleep deprivation (women sensitive to sleep loss are at higher risk), and the coping and adjustment that naturally comes when a new baby is born. The list of risk factors is long, and bottom line: Even if you feel like it’s your “fault,” it’s not.

 

 

 Watch this “3-Minute Therapy” video from my YouTube channel on “The Truth about Postpartum Depression,” then continue reading, below. 

You need to install or upgrade Flash Player to view this content, install or upgrade by clicking here.

 

 

3)   Postpartum Depression is not a character flaw, and it does not mean you are weak. For many women, however, it feels that way. The more we talk about and educate people on PPD, the more women will see PPD for what it is: an illness that comes, and, with help, will go, just like any other. (Read Postpartum Depression Treatment)

 

 

4)   Postpartum women are far more exhausted than you, or they, realize, and sleep plays a critical role in PPD, and its treatment. You can’t understand how exhausted you can be until after you have a baby. Postpartum depressed or anxious women often also suffer from insomnia; the baby is sleeping through the night, but she is not. Sleep is crucial to mental and emotional well-being, and helping moms treat sleep issues is a crucial part of them becoming well again. (Read: PPD Treatment–Sleep)

 

 

5)   Anxiety is often a huge part of PPD. Some say the anxiety came first; others feel their depression caused the anxiety, while others say it all feels like a jumbled mess of sadness and worry. Either way, anxiety is a common symptom of Postpartum Depression, which is one of several things that makes PPD different from a typical Major Depression. (Read Beyond Depression: Diagnosing Postpartum OCD)

 

 

6)   Anger/irritability is common with Postpartum Depression. Frustration with all the changes that come with being a parent and/or having a newborn, anger about one’s symptoms, or irritability related to sleep loss/hormone shifts are definitely a “normal” part of PPD. (Read Understanding & Overcoming Anger: “I don’t want to be an angry person!”)

 

 

7)  Guilt is a huge component of PPD. Guilt about having the illness, guilt about not being at your best when you wish you could be, guilt about your guilt. Guilt is one of the most common topics I address in therapy with postpartum women (and have had to address with myself, too). (Therapy can be a huge help in becoming free of all the guilt.)

 

 

8)   The choice to breast or bottle-feed (or sometimes the lack of choice) often impacts PPD. Many women want to breastfeed, but struggle with it, and then feel terribly guilty switching to a bottle. Others realize, for their own health and wellness, they need to quit breastfeeding sooner than they’d wished. Too many are wrongly told they cannot breastfeed

Singing & rocking my youngest, Sydney. Though I was able to breastfeed her, I introduced a bottle early on. I knew I needed it to help me survive PPD.

Singing & rocking my youngest, Sydney. Though I was able to breastfeed her, I introduced a bottle early on. I knew I needed it to help me survive PPD.

because they need a medication to help their depression or anxiety, and this leads to intense grief. Yes, breastfeeding (or not) is a hot topic when it comes to PPD.

 

 

9)  Grief is usually a common part of Postpartum Depression. Most people don’t understand this or send the message that you should feel “happy” because of all you’ve gained in having a baby. And you surely have gained many blessings. But you’ve also lost many things: sleep, health, maybe breastfeeding or the ideal of what you thought would be, your figure, a sense of control, all these things listed above—the list goes on. Each loss must be grieved. (Read “How do I grieve?” Grief Work & TEARS)

 

 

10)  PPD makes many women question their identity. “Who am I now?” is a common question. Many mothers feel lost, “not like myself,” or say, “I don’t know who I am anymore.” Rediscovering one’s identity after childbirth is common, and after PPD even more so.

 

 

11)  Self-Esteem/sense of self is often deeply impacted by PPD. If you feel ashamed, guilty, angry, fearful, it can certainly lead to feelings of inadequacy as a mother and as a woman. All of these things can, and often do, make women question their self-worth. I’ve become an “expert” on self-worth because I’ve worked with so many women on this important topic (and personally, too.) Therapy is a great tool to help you learn to feel your true worth. (In the meantime, read this: How to Feel Self-Worth: The Pyramid of Self-Worth)

 

 

12)  Relationship support can make or break you. Poor support or troubled relationships, especially with your husband/partner, are the number one non-biological cause of PPD. You need understanding, especially from those you love most, and when that doesn’t come, it can make postpartum depression/anxiety worse. On the flip side, PPD can be very hard on a relationship, so it’s important to seek help for both of you as needed. (Read more here: Couples & PPD)

 

 

13)  Women with PPD may seem “fine,” but often, it’s an act. Many people think, if a mom is depressed, she’ll obviously look like a mess, but that’s not the case. We want to feel fine. We try so hard to feel–and look–fine. But sometimes, though it seems we are, we’re not, not at all. (See my picture, below.)

 

 

14) Shame and embarrassment are a common part of postpartum depression and anxiety. Many women feel ashamed they aren’t “stronger” or more capable of simply “sucking it up” and “moving on.” Many feel embarrassed by their

Our family christmas photo, 2007, taken just three weeks after I gave birth and inherited my two nephews, going from 3 to 6 kids. I wrote about this in "This is How We Grow." Don't I look "fine?" Look closer. I definitely wasn't.

Our family christmas photo, 2007, taken just three weeks after I gave birth and inherited my two nephews, going from 3 to 6 kids. My hardest postpartum experience by far, yet, don’t I look “fine?” Look closer. I definitely wasn’t. (Read about it in my memoir, “This is How We Grow.”)

symptoms. Unfortunately, the sting of the stigma of mental illness can feel especially sharp when you’ve just had a baby and so desperately want to be at your best.

 

 

15) For many PPD moms, it feels like no one gets it. Others might say they understand or even try to reach out and be supportive, but for many moms it feels like no one really gets PPD. Unless you’ve been there, it’s hard to truly relate, and unless you can truly relate, it’s hard for a PPD woman to want to open up and let you in. So, please, please, if you know a new mom, ask how she is feeling and really mean it. Listen to understand. Often we just need someone to sincerely ask so we can open up and begin healing.

 

 

16) Well-meaning friends/family often say/do the wrong things. When I had postpartum depression with my first son, who was colicky, one friend told me, “I really think babies reflect the temperament and calmness of their parents. That’s why I try to always be peaceful around my baby.” After my third baby was born, when I was officially a psychologist specializing in PPD and experiencing it again myself, a new friend asked, “Is that even real?” Statements like these can make PPD feel even worse and increase a mother’s sense of isolation.

 

 

17)  Having Postpartum Depression in no way makes you a “slacker” or means you’re “lazy,” but many women feel that way. In fact, it’s often the high-achieving women with perfectionistic tendencies who fall prey to PPD. It’s one of the risk factors.

 

 

18)  Because many PPD moms are used to being able to “do it all,” and do it all well, it can be hard for many of us to accept help. We know we need it, but when it comes down to it, it’s hard to let go of the need to do it on our own.

 

 

19) Help is out there, though it can be tough finding the right help. There are more PPD resources than ever. There is fabulous online support, solid educational programs, and providers who are compassionate and knowledgeable about pregnancy and postpartum mental health. The trouble often comes in accessing that help. My best advice? Stick with it. Help is out there, and it’s worth it to find the right kind of help for you. (PSI can help: www.postpartum.net)

 

 

20) Though we may fight it, medication is a good option for many pregnant and/or postpartum women. I wrote all about it here, so if you’re considering it, check this out. I also shared my own experience with choosing to take an antidepressant in my memoir, This is How We Grow: “I’ll admit, I do not want to take it. Must I?…I realize I haven’t really been living for far too long. I’ve been coping, surviving, manage, getting by—but coping is not living. I want to engage, set goals, dream, travel again…This little pill might just be the final ticket that helps me get there.” (p. 218) Sometimes, your brain just needs a little extra support, and medication is the one thing that might make the difference. (And yes, in many cases you can still breastfeed.) (More on medication: “Antidepressant? or Not? 12 Facts on Depression & Medication)

 

 

One final, bonus truth…

21)  There is life after Postpartum Depression.  With the right help, therapist and/or a support group specifically for PPD moms, you’ll find the understanding, information, and tools you need to be well again. Trust me when I say, six kids and eighteen years later, “There is life after PPD. With help, work, and time, you will be even better than better.”

 

If you’re a Postpartum Depression or Anxiety survivor, I’d love to hear from you. Do you agree with any of my “truths?” What are some truths of your own you’d like others to know? Let’s keep this important discussion going in the comments, below!
#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Award-Winning memoir, This is How We Grow!
Available now on Amazon.com.

 
 
 

Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

FREE. Online. Growth. What more could you ask for?

 
 
 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

You may manage your subscription options from your profile.

 

 

 
 

The Facts vs. The TRUTH about Postpartum Depression; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

 
 

Let’s Connect…

“Like” my Facebook pages (Dr. Christina HibbertThis Is How We Grow) and follow me on Twitter,Pinterest, & Instagram!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Related Articles/Posts:

Pregnancy & Postpartum Emotional Health

The Baby Blues & You

Postpartum Survival Mode

16 Things I’d Like My Postpartum Self to Know, 16 Years & 6 Kids Later (PSI Blog Hop)

PPD & Motherhood Mental Health: Self-Care & Letting Help In–The 2 Most Important Things

Postpartum Depression Treatment

Beyond Depression: Understanding Pregnancy/Postpartum OCD (Part 1)

Beyond Depression: Diagnosing Postpartum OCD (part 2) (& video)

Beyond Depression: Postpartum OCD Treatment (part 3) (& video)

Postpartum Depression Treatment: For Dads & Partners

Postpartum Depression Treatment: For Couples

Postpartum Depression Treatment: Complementary Alternative Modalities

Postpartum Depression Treatment: Psychotherapy

Postpartum Depression Treatment: Medication

Postpartum Depression Treatment: Self-Help

Postpartum Depression Treatment: Sleep

Postpartum Depression & Men: The Facts on Paternal Postnatal Depression

Mom Mental Health (& Happiness): The Importance of Alone Time

Mom Mental Health (part 2): How to Get Alone Time (25+ Strategies!)

Moving Beyond Shame: The Ultimate Power of Support & Time (PSI Blog Hop) 

Pregnancy & Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders: Are Women of Advanced Maternal Age at Higher Risk?

In Praise of Fathers: 10 Research-Based Ways Dads Impact Kids for the Better

5 Reasons Self-Esteem is a Myth

How to Feel Self-Worth: “The Pyramid of Self-Worth”

Thought Management, Part 1: The Relationship between Thoughts, Feelings, the Body, & Behavior

Womens’ Emotions & Hormones– Series

Achieving Balance–Why You’ve Got it Wrong, & How to Get it Right

Pregnancy & Postpartum Loss, Grief, & Family Healing (Part 1)

How to Cope with and Treat Perinatal Loss & Grief (Part 2)

Pregnancy/Postpartum Resources & Help:

Postpartum Support International Website

-Worldwide help and support for new mothers and families, including a bilingual hotline and state/country coordinators to help you find the right treatment provider or support in your area. PSI also provides educational courses on Perinatal Mood/Anxiety Disorders.

Postpartum Progress Blog

-Excellent source of education and support for mothers and families.

Arizona Postpartum Wellness Coalition

-Support for AZ families: Support Warmline, Brochures, & Provider/Family Education.

Postpartum Stress Center

-Education & support for Providers and Families

Postpartum Couples Website

Pregnancy & Postpartum Resources

**This article is not intended to replace proper medical/mental health care. If you think you may be suffering from Postpartum Depression or Anxiety, please contact your medical or mental health provider, or PSI, for referrals/help/support.**

Interviews with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Award-Winning Author of This Is How We Grow”

Interviews with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Award-Winning Author of "This Is How We Grow"; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

Interviews with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Award-Winning Author of "This Is How We Grow"; www.DrChristinaHibbert.comI’m always happy when others are interested in my work or my writing, but I’m especially grateful for opportunities to share the real me. To talk about my past and things like overcoming grief and postpartum depression, to discuss how I presently find ways to grow as a mother, psychologist, and author, and to dream about my future–in short, to let others see who I truly am and what I stand for. That’s why I’ve been thrilled lately to have had several interviews–on camera, radio, and in-print–which have enabled me to show my true colors.

 

 

“This is How We Grow” Interviews–various perspectives for all kinds of audiences

I am happy to share with you a few interviews I particularly enjoyed (below), because even though they’re all book interviews, they are 1) each with people from different perspectives and points of view, 2) speak to unique audiences, and 3) share insights on different topics, from writing, to fulfilling your dreams, to postpartum depression, to faith. Though they started out as an interview related to This Is How We Grow, each has its unique spin, opening up a little different side of me, and for that I am grateful.

I love to learn about other real people–to know how they do it in life, what their challenges are, how they overcome, become, and flourish. I hope, as you check out one, or two, or all of these interviews, they will do the same for you–help you

Receiving my IPPY medal in NYC!

Receiving my IPPY medal in NYC!

connect with me in some small way and know you’re not the only one. Help you see some new ways to grow. Then, I hope you’ll leave a comment here or on the video/post itself and let me know a little bit about what resonates with you. I desire to get to know what makes you tick just as much as I hope you’ll get to know a little more about me.

 

 

IPPY Book Award Interview–(For writers, fans of dreams coming true, and lovers of This is How We Grow!)

An hour before the Independent Publisher’s Book Awards (IPPYs) began, in New York City, I had the opportunity to sit down with their interviewer and discuss my book, the award, and what it meant to me.

I wrote about this experience here, but let me just add that this was an important event for me as an author. It was not only my first book award for This is How We Grow, but it was my first on-camera interview. I never get nervous to speak, even to large crowds, but I admit, I was a little nervous for this interview. Since I knew I’d be getting a copy to use for forever, I wanted it to be great, and you know what? I think it is pretty great. I hope you think so too!

You need to install or upgrade Flash Player to view this content, install or upgrade by clicking here.

 

 

Word of Mom Radio (For Moms, Business Women, and Entrepreneurs!)

Word of Mom Radio is an online radio show that seeks to empower “mompreneurs” and business women. I actually met Word of Mom founder, Dori DiCarlo on Twitter (hooray for social media!) and we immediately hit it off. After an hour long phone conversation, I sent her a copy of my book, which she quickly read. She tweeted me, “Honestly it is one of the best books I have read in a long time…I rarely annotate books and can’t help myself with yours.” I was honored, and even more honored to be a guest on Dori’s show to discuss my book and how I juggle six children, a husband and home, a psychology practice, and now full-time work as an author!

The show is titled, “Award Winning Author Dr. Christina Hibbert on the Mompreneur Model Show” and you can download and listen to the podcast of the show at this link!

 

 

Segullah & Julie de Azevedo Hanks Blogs (For LDS, Faith-Based, and Spiritual Insights!)

Last week I was thrilled to be featured in two different posts on Segullah.org. The first was a This Is How We Grow book

I love this pic of Julie Hanks and me, expressing our many emotional sides at a women's conference.

I love this pic of Julie Hanks and me, expressing our many emotional sides at a women’s conference.

review, by editor Shelah Miner, and the second was an interview Shelah did with me. Segullah runs a journal and blog, its mission being “to encourage literary and artistic talent, provoke thought and promote greater understanding and faith among Latter-day Saint women.” It’s no secret I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, or “a Mormon,” as many people call us. I thoroughly enjoyed this interview with Segullah because it allowed me to share my experiences with achieving my dream of becoming an author, how I manage to write with six kids needing me all the time, and also to share some of my faith-building experiences I’ve had along my journey so far. You can check out the interview here: Faces of Latter-Day Saint Women: A Conversation with Author & Psychologist Dr. Christina Hibbert.

In a similar vein, I was honored to be interviewed by my good friend, Julie de Azevedo Hanks, last November when This is How We Grow was released. Julie is a well-known self and relationship expert, media personality, and singer-songwriter, and we’ve known each other for almost 8 years now. I loved Julie’s interview because she knows me. She knows what to ask and how to ask it, and again, I can also share my faith experiences with her since she is a member of the LDS faith as well. Check out Julie’s article, “Q & A with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Author of This is How We Grow,” here.

 

 

Postpartum Progress, Ivy’s PPD Blog, & Birthtouch (For Pregnant and Postpartum Moms, Dads, and Families!) 

Finally, I want to share some interviews and guest posts I did a few months back that center around the theme of “Postpartum Depression/Anxiety“. As a four-time survivor of PPD, I know a thing or two about how challenging it can be to feel well after a new baby comes, and especially how challenging it can be to feel well again. But as a clinical psychologist and expert in pregnancy and postpartum mood/anxiety disorders, I also know 1) you are not alone, 2) you will be well, and 3) with help, you will be well (PSI’s universal message). I am grateful for every opportunity I’m given to help pregnant and postpartum women realize these things.

It’s important for pregnant and postpartum women to realize they’re not the only ones feeling this way, and I loved the following three interviews/ guest posts for this very reason. I hope you’ll check them out and share with any pregnant/postpartum women and families you know:

Ivy’s PPD Blog: Interview with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Author of This Is How We Grow

Postpartum Progress Blog: Pregnancy & Postpartum Loss, Grief, & Family Healing, Part 1 & How to Cope with and Treat Perinatal Loss, Part 2

Birthtouch Blog: Interview & Book Review, This is How We Grow by Dr. Christina Hibbert

 

 

Do you enjoy learning about other people’s real lives as much as I do? In what ways did you most connect to one or more of these interviews? What do we have in common? I’d love to get to know you, too, so please leave a comment for me, below!

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com.
     
Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

FREE. Online. Growth. What more could you ask for?

 

 

 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

You may manage your subscription options from your profile.

Interviews with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Award-Winning Author of "This Is How We Grow"; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

Let’s Connect…

“Like” my Facebook pages (Dr. Christina HibbertThis Is How We Grow) and follow me on Twitter,Pinterest, & Instagram!

Related Articles/Posts:

This Is How We Grow wins an IPPY Award in NYC & is one of Aspire Magazine’s “Top 10 Inspirational Books!

When Life Hands You Lemons, Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs 

Life: The Battle & The Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth)

Family Summer Vacation, & Personal Growth? 10 Things I Learned in an RV with my Family of 8 for 8 Days

Summer Reading & Personal Growth: Dr. Hibbert’s Top 10 Personal Growth Books

Understanding & Coping with Loss & Trauma

PPD & Motherhood Mental Health: Self-Care & Letting Help In–The 2 Most Important Things

This is How We Grow:” Understanding the Seasons of Personal Growth

Join my Free, Online “This Is How We Grow” Personal Growth Group!

In Memory of my Sister, on the 5th Anniversary of her Death

What I’ve Learned about Personal Growth from a Decade of Yearly Themes

Weather the Storms Together: 4 Ways to Strengthen Families in Times of Stress

The 3 Layers of Self-Care

Discovering Self-Worth: Why is it So Hard to Love Ourselves?

Family Summer Vacation, & Personal Growth?: 10 Things I Learned in an RV w/my Family of 8 for 8 Days

Family Vacation & Personal Growth: 10 Things I Learned in an RV w/my Family of 8 for 8 Days; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #personalgrowth #TIHWG #motherhood #parenting #mentalhealth

Family Vacation & Personal Growth: 10 Things I Learned in an RV w/my Family of 8 for 8 Days; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #personalgrowth #TIHWG #motherhood #parenting #mentalhealthI knew it would be an adventure—driving over 2,000 miles in an RV, with my husband and our six kids, for 8 days, from Flagstaff, AZ to Las Vegas, to Utah to Idaho, to Montana to Yellowstone National Park, to Jackson, Wyoming and back. We’d been wanting to do this trip for years, and since my oldest had just graduated from high school (I still can’t believe I have a college student!), it was now or never.

We weren’t oblivious, however. My husband, OJ, and I both knew that being together, 24/7, in very tight quarters could be disastrous! “It will be memorable,” we laughed to each other. “Either it will be so bad we’ll never forget, or it will be so good.” I figured, based on our history, the former would be the case. I was pleasantly surprised to be wrong.

 

 

From Surviving to Thriving on Family Vacation

I had no idea how incredible this vacation would be—the scenery of Yellowstone, yes, but also the experience with my family. We’d had a rough few months going into it. We’d all been struggling through grief, especially me, yet on this crazy trip I felt better than I had in months. It made me wonder why.

On our drive home, I pulled out a notebook and began to write. I wanted to figure out why this trip, which had such potential to go horribly wrong, had gone so well. It made me wonder if I could take some lessons home with me to my “real life” and apply them. It gave me hope I might be able to bring this same peace, love, and joy I’d found, back home into my ordinary days.

 

 

10 Ways our Family Vacation Inspired my Personal Growth

(& how it can inspire yours, too!)

Not only did I have a really fun time on our family vacation; I grew. I didn’t intend to grow, it just happened.  Now, I hope to take what I learned on our trip and put it into practice in my everyday life.

So, here are 10 unexpected things I learned on this unexpected vacation, and thus 10 lessons I’m working to implement in my daily life now. I hope, in sharing them, you might feel inspired to do the same.

 

1) It forced me to live in the now. Kids have a way of doing that. It’s one thing I’ve always appreciated about being a mom of 6: I don’t have time to get too stuck in my head, because my kids are always pulling me back to the here and now. And being together all the time on this trip definitely left me with only “now.” Yes, at times it drove me nuts, constantly hearing, “Mom, mom,” but more so it was good for me. Also, Yellowstone is such an incredible place, with so much wildlife and beauty, you have to focus as you drive or you might miss something really good—like this bear by the side of the road or this incredible waterfall and river, as seen from “Artist’s Point” at “The Little Grand Canyon of Yellowstone.”

Family Vacation & Personal Growth? www.DrChristinaHibbert.comFamily Vacation, & Personal Growth? www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2) Traveling, for me, I realized, is a state of “flow,” and that means it helps me forget the unpleasantries of life. Yes, traveling with kids is crazy, and when they were younger it usually just pushed me over the edge of insanity. But I LOVE to travel, and now that they’re older, I love showing my kids the world, too. I was reading, “Flow,” by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, on this trip and I realized, for me, traveling is a state of “flow,” or can be. This quote explains what I mean, “One of the most frequently mentioned dimensions of the flow experience is that, while it lasts, one is able to forget all the unpleasant aspects of life…Enjoyable activities require a complete focusing of attention on the task at hand–thus leaving no room in the mind for irrelevant information.” (p. 58) Like the impressive river in that photo, above, I love  traveling; love being in flow.

 

3) Time with no electronics for a week? Priceless. I really don’t need to be plugged in all the time. I’m much more relaxed, much happier when I’m not. It also forced my four teenaged sons and two young, wannabe-teenaged daughters off their phones, tablets, and gaming devices. They had to spend all day playing and interacting with each other, and with us! Cards, Frisbee, football, bike-riding, I loved hearing them laugh together. Incredibly healing for all of us after we’ve had such a tough past few months.

Summer Family Vacation & Personal Growth; www.DrchristinaHibbert.com Summer Family Vacation & Personal Growth? www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4) I slept more soundly. Driving, moving, exploring all day, does wonders for a terrible sleeper like me. Even with 8 of us in a small, enclosed space, we all zonked out at the end of the day. It may have been late, and I may not have actually slept more hours than I usually do, but I definitely slept more deeply (with the help of earplugs, of course). The balance between activity and rest is crucial to sleep, and it makes me want to get out and explore more in my real life, too.

 

5) Seeing the beauty of the world brings out our own beauty. It reminds me of how vast and grand the world is and how tiny and shrinking my head. It reminds me how much I LOVE nature, and how amazing I feel when immersed in it. When I get out of my tiny head and just experience the beauty, I feel more beautiful, joyful, loving. How can you not, when you see things like this all day…

One of the most beautiful calderas (hot springs) we saw.

One of the most beautiful calderas (hot springs) we saw.

The Grand Tetons. Truly majestic.

The Grand Tetons. Truly majestic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6) It reminded me of my love for music, especially music with my family. Hearing my boys play guitar and laugh while “jamming” together, and seeing my girls do fireside song and dance performances was heavenly. It relaxes me. It also showed me how badly I need to get practicing guitar and song-writing again. It lights me up.

 

7) It made me appreciate my husband so much more. On the first day, OJ woke up at 5:30 (after a very late night Summer family Vacation & Personal Growth; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com before) and drove us from southern Utah to Montana while we all slept in. It was the best sleep in I’ve had in ages, with the rocking of the moving motor home! I woke up thinking, “What a guy.” I told him so. It made me really appreciate how hard he works for our happiness. Sure, we had our fighting moments (because, when traveling, let’s face it—things can get pretty stressful pretty quickly!), but there’s nothing like seeing the world with the one you adore, who adores you right back. (Read 17 Secrets for Making Marriage Work)

 

8) I really am happier with less. I’ve been craving simplicity for, well, forever. Now, I’m motivated to do something about it. Less stuff. Less saying yes to things that deplete me. More saying “yes” to living and being and loving. (Read Daily Mindfulness: 6 Ways to Put More Being into what You’re Doing)

 

9) Teaching my kids about and showing them the world is the best education—for them and me. I love showing them new places and new ways of seeing things. I also love hearing their perspectives on things as we do. I learn just as much, if not more, from them as they do from me.

 

10) Family vacations are an excellent lesson in patience and love.  Yes, I had to continually practice patience, do my deep breathing, etc, and I did lose it with the kids sometimes (namely late at night when they were fighting and I was beyond tired). But, I also held it together so many more times. I taught my daughter how to deep breathe and start journaling, too, to help her deal with the stress of her siblings. I guess we were all learning patience and greater love. Each kid had a ‘job’ each day—a job to become more patient and loving. “Your job is to look for the good and say it out loud today.” “Your job is to look around and notice what others need and not just what you want, and then to help them.” “Your job is to be more sharing with your things.” “Yours is to take 10 deep breaths each time you’re feeling too stressed and tired, and to pray when you need extra help.” (That was mine most of the time.)

 

How Family Vacation can Translate into Greater Love, Joy & Peace at Home

The big Question, then, after coming home and processing this experience, was this: “Why was I so much “better,” or as

Our Yellowstone campsite was amazing. Overlooking a grassy field that led to Lake Yellowstone, we hung a hammock off in the trees. I spent as much time here as I could. Ahh...peace.

Our Yellowstone campsite was amazing. Overlooking a grassy field that led to Lake Yellowstone, we hung a hammock off in the trees. I spent as much time here as I could. I came home and hung the hammock on our back deck. Ahh…peace.

OJ said, “put together,” in this crazy situation, versus at home?” And, more importantly, “Can’t I choose to be this way all the time?”

I’m sure going to try. I figure, what good is all this personal growth I achieved on vacation if I can’t somehow bring it home? I can choose to live in the now each day, to find my “flow” in what I do, or seek it when it’s missing. I can turn off the electronics, spend more quality time with my family, and notice more of the great beauty around me; chances are, I’ll sleep more soundly. I can clear the clutter–both mentally and physically and simplify my schedule and mind. I can focus on love and patience, and actively seek the good in my husband and children. I can sing more and develop my talents, and I can share them with my kids–another great way to learn from one another.

I can choose to follow my vacation rule, “No complaining.” What’s the point of complaining anyway? Instead, I can choose to bring that feel of this family vacation home every day. I can choose to continually grow.

And so can you.

 

What have you learned from family vacations? What surprises have you found that you’d like to share? We’d love to hear them, so please leave a comment, below!

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com.
     

 
 
 

Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

FREE. Online. Growth. What more could you ask for?

 
 
 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

You may manage your subscription options from your profile.

 
 
 

Family Vacation & Personal Growth: 10 Things I Learned in an RV w/my Family of 8 for 8 Days; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #personalgrowth #TIHWG #motherhood #parenting #mentalhealth

 
 
 

Let’s Connect…

“Like” my Facebook pages (Dr. Christina HibbertThis Is How We Grow) and follow me on Twitter,Pinterest, & Instagram!

 
 
 
 
 

Related Articles/Posts:

This Is How We Grow wins an IPPY Award in NYC & is one of Aspire Magazine’s “Top 10 Inspirational Books!

When Life Hands You Lemons, Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs 

Life: The Battle & The Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth)

Understanding & Coping with Loss & Trauma

PPD & Motherhood Mental Health: Self-Care & Letting Help In–The 2 Most Important Things

This is How We Grow:” Understanding the Seasons of Personal Growth

Join my Free, Online “This Is How We Grow” Personal Growth Group!

In Memory of my Sister, on the 5th Anniversary of her Death

What I’ve Learned about Personal Growth from a Decade of Yearly Themes

Weather the Storms Together: 4 Ways to Strengthen Families in Times of Stress

The 3 Layers of Self-Care

Discovering Self-Worth: Why is it So Hard to Love Ourselves?

Summer Reading & Personal Growth: Dr. Hibbert’s Top 10 Books

Dr. Christina Hibbert's "Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #summer #books

Dr. Christina Hibbert's "Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #summer #books

I love to read. I love learning, and I find there’s no better way to learn than by devouring book after book.

 

Summer Reading 

I especially love to read in the summer. My kids are all home, and with six of them, four of whom are teenagers, summers can be a little hectic. As I’ve said before, I feel like a lady-in-waiting in summer, biding my time waiting for the next child to come looking for a ride, an activity, a listening ear, or emotional support. As I wrote in This is How We Grow, “I read all summer long because: 1) I love learning, and 2) it is one activity I can do and not feel frustrated when I’m interrupted, because with six children home all day, that is about the only thing I can count on–interruption.” (p. 335)

 

I also love getting book ideas from friends and colleagues. I always post on my Facebook page at the beginning of summer, asking for summer reading suggestions, and I’d love to hear your suggestions in the comments, below.

 

Personal Growth Books & Summer Reading

Now, it’s time for me to give back and offer a few suggestions of my own. This first list (as I assume there will be more to follow) consists of some of my very favorite books of all time–those I read years ago, and those I have recently read. It’s hard to pick my absolute favorites because they’re all so different, but I started by going to my Goodreads reviews (join me on Goodreads for more ideas!) and listing those to which I gave 5 stars.

 

Understand, I only give 5 stars to books I absolutely LOVE. My standard rating is 3 stars for a book I like. 4 stars means it was better than average. But 5 stars means, for whatever reason, it sang to me. (Yes, I admit I’ve given 5 star ratings to friends’ books even if I would normally have given them less, but for the most part I’m pretty consistent.)

 

Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books

Below are ten of my top summer readings pics. I am a huge non-fiction reader, and I also love a good novel to help me escape. I’ve included both here. Fiction or non-fiction, all of them in some way inspired my own personal growth.  I hope one (or more) gets you reading this summer and helps you “grow,” too!

 

1) Wonder, R.J. Palacio. It’s no wonder I loved this story. It tells of a fifth grade boy born with a disfigured face who is Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books, w/Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #bookssimply trying to make his way in this crazy world. Told from the perspective of himself, his sister, parents, and friends, this easy-to-read book is a perfect glimpse into how we treat others and the perfect motivation to do a little bit better. A great family read–I recommended it to my own kids and even my husband. Your family will love it, too.

 

2) The Invention of Wings, Sue Monk KiddThis is one of my new all-time favorite books. Based on the real life story of two sisters who changed the abolition and women’s movements, this book is masterfully written and leaves you feeling inspired to make a difference in your world, too.

 

3) Leadership and Self-Deception, Arbinger Institute. This book changed my life. Really. It changed how I see myself in relation to those in my life, and it became a staple in what I teach others to do as a psychologist. Written in a story format, this book takes important, complex principles and delivers them in an easy-to-read format. After you read this, you might want to move on to one of my all-time favorite books, Bonds that Make Us Free, by C. Terry Warner (my former BYU professor!). It’s a much deeper read, so take your time if you read it. I’ve read, highlighted, and taken notes three times, and even taught a three-part book club on it!Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #books #summer

 

4) The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer, New Harbinger Publications. This NY Times bestseller is one of my all-time favorites, too. Mr. Singer writes in a simple way that helps readers understand how to keep our hearts open even when they want to keep closing. I even used this book for an entire year of  my in-person Personal Growth Group (you can join my online group here.). It’s also pretty cool this book was published by my publisher for my forthcoming book on Self-Esteem After a Breakup, New Harbinger Publications! (Coming March 2015!)

 

5) The Alchemist, Paulo Coehlo. I’ve also read this three times. I love mystical feel of the story, and I especially love how it pricks my heart and makes me wonder what I was sent to this earth to do, too.

 

6) Gift from the Sea, Anne Morrow Lindbergh. I have read this many times, and there’s nothing like reading it in the summer. This one will especially resonate with mothers of all ages and stages. It was a crucial part of me learning, yearsDr. Christina Hibbert's Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #summer #books ago, of the necessity of time away, alone, in motherhood. Hopefully, it can do the same for you.

 

7) The Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck. I didn’t read this classic book until just a few years ago, but once I did, whew! I underlined almost all of it. Dr. Peck writes beautifully about love and relationships and healing, and choosing to grow, and we all know I’m all about choosing to grow!

 

8) Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl. I read this in high school for the first time, and from that point on whenever asked “What is your favorite book?” I would say, “Man’s Search for Meaning.” Since then, I’ve read it many more times and quote from it often. The true story of how Dr. Frankl, a psychiatrist, survived a Nazi concentration camp, if you haven’t yet read it, it needs to be on your “must read” list, for sure.

Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #books #parenting

9) Have a New Kid by Friday, Dr. Kevin Leman. If you’re looking for a great parenting book, this is one of my favorites. Easy to understand, quick to grasp, this book will give you specific strategies you can implement immediately to help your children learn about natural consequences and help you feel less stressed. A great tool for summers when kids are home driving you crazy!

 

10) Daughter of the Forest Juliet Marillier (The first in the Sevenwaters series.) I have to add this book, because it is one of my favorite novels, and it is a great read if you’re looking for a little escape. Set in another world in another time, it tells the tale of one brave young woman and her seven brothers, but really it tells of family love. I enjoy reading clean books, and this has only one scene that’s painful to read (but necessary to the story). The rest of the story left me wanting more and feeling an immense increase of love for my own family. (I’ve also read the next two in the series and enjoyed them as well, but this is my favorite.)

IPPY Award Winner & Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow. "Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #books

Bonus: For pure fun–If you’re a Jane Austen fan (like I am) and looking for a clean romance to help you escape into summer, I recommend Edenbrooke, by Julianne Donaldson. It was one of my favorite summer reads last year. Pure fun. And fun is a very important part of personal growth!

 

 

**Final Note: While I definitely recommend my own book, IPPY-Award Winner,  This is How We Grow, as a great summer read that is guaranteed to inspire you to grow, I cannot review my own book. There are plenty of detailed reviews on Amazon from over 90 readers, however, so check them out, and see what you think!

 

 

Leave a comment!

What books do you recommend for a good summer read? What books have helped you grow the most? Have you read and of the books on my list? If so, what are your reviews? I’d love to hear your summer reading suggestions, so please leave me a comment, below!

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com.

    

 
 
 

Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

FREE. Online. Growth. What more could you ask for?

 
 
 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

You may manage your subscription options from your profile.

 
 
 

Dr. Christina Hibbert's "Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #summer #books

Let’s Connect…

“Like” my Facebook pages (Dr. Christina HibbertThis Is How We Grow) and follow me on Twitter,Pinterest, & Instagram!

 
 
 
 
 
 

Related Articles/Posts:

This Is How We Grow wins an IPPY Award in NYC & is one of Aspire Magazine’s “Top 10 Inspirational Books!

When Life Hands You Lemons, Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs 

Life: The Battle & The Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth)

Understanding & Coping with Loss & Trauma

PPD & Motherhood Mental Health: Self-Care & Letting Help In–The 2 Most Important Things

This is How We Grow:” Understanding the Seasons of Personal Growth

Join my Free, Online “This Is How We Grow” Personal Growth Group!

In Memory of my Sister, on the 5th Anniversary of her Death

What I’ve Learned about Personal Growth from a Decade of Yearly Themes

Weather the Storms Together: 4 Ways to Strengthen Families in Times of Stress

The 3 Layers of Self-Care

Discovering Self-Worth: Why is it So Hard to Love Ourselves?

Siblings & Grief: 10 Things Everyone Should Know

How to Feel Self-Worth: “The Pyramid of Self-Worth” (& video)

Learning Self-Love: 5 Tricks for Treating Yourself More Kindly

16 Things I’d Like My Postpartum Self to Know, 16 Years & 6 Kids Later (PSI Blog Hop)

Mom Mental Health (& Happiness): The Importance of Alone Time

Mom Mental Health: HOW to Get Alone Time (25+ Strategies) (& video)

Mother’s Day & “Mommy Fails”: 3 Messages All Moms Need to Hear

“Perfect?” or “Fake?” 8 Truths about Perfectionism, & 8 Truths to Cure It

“This Is How We Grow” Personal Growth Tools: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs

When Life Hands You Lemons...Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #TIHWG #personalgrowth #MH

  
When Life Hands You Lemons...Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #TIHWG #personalgrowth #MH

It’s no secret life has handed me some lemons–again. I wrote about it a week ago; once again, I’m in a season of loss and grief.

 

Being here again makes me wonder, “When life hands me lemons, do I really want to make lemonade? Is there something better waiting for me than a satisfying sip of a sugary drink?” It makes me stop and reevaluate.

 
 

Life Trials and Transitions: The Lemons
Some times of life naturally lead to self-reflection and evaluation. Transitions like the beginning of a school year, a birthday (especially a big one), New Year’s Day, and the beginning of summer always make me stop and reevaluate.

 

Then, there are life trials. These “lemons” life hands us provide another crucial time to stop and reevaluate. Lately, my lemons have been re-experiencing intense loss and grief. For others, it may be an episode of depression, a breakup or divorce, pregnancy or postpartum, a wayward child, or plain and simple life stress.

 

Like the seasons, life keeps changing, and as it does we must continually ask, “Am I going to go through this change, or can I choose to grow through this change?” “Like fall fades to winter and spring blooms to summer, we can choose to grow through [all] the seasons of life.” (This Is How We Grow, p. 5)

  

Reevaluating the Lemons of Life

The truth is, when life hands us lemons it might not always be best to make lemonade. Maybe it’s better to plant the lemon seeds and grow our own lemon tree so we can make lemonade any time we desire for everyone we know. Instead of jumping in and doing the easy or expected thing, perhaps we need to stop and reevaluate what is actually best for us at each phase and season of life.

 

That’s one great thing about hardships and change—they force us to slow down and pay attention. When we listen to our bodies, minds, experiences, life lessons, we learn, we grow, and eventually, up better than we could have dreamed.

  

Four Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs
How do we stop and reevaluate? First, stop. Literally sit quietly and breathe. Then, follow these four steps and repeat When Life Hands you Lemons...Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #ThisIsHowWeGrowoften. As Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Whatever season, transition, or hardship you’re in, take the time to examine life, where you are, and where you’re headed. It’s the surest way to get you where you really want to be.

 

1) Ask, “Where am I right now?” First, we must get real about where we are. This may involve accepting you’re not where you want to be. It may involve letting yourself feel things you’ve been trying not to feel. For me, this has involved admitting I’m back in the middle of grief, and picking up the phone to set up an appointment with my psychologist; it’s involved admitting I cannot do this alone. Be willing to see where you are. Gently open your eyes, and then honestly look at your life, the people in it, and where you seem to be headed.

 

2) Ask, “Where do I desire to be?” It is good to desire. It’s an important step in the process of overcoming, becoming, and flourishing. Close your eyes and envision where you would like to be. You may see yourself healthy and smiling, with relationships that thrive, or discovering your true self and fulfilling your life’s mission and purpose. At this point, I envision feeling grief-free, whole, healthy, and full of joy again; I imagine the same for my children.

Dream about all the blessings you desire to have one day. Then, write about what you see. Make it clear and concrete, and revisit your desires often. It is in reevaluating our desires that we course correct to eventually arrive at who, how, and where we want to be. (More on this, read “Create the Life You Desire” Part 1 & Part 2)

 

3) Ask, “What do I need?” This question has been constantly on my mind. I know I’m burned out, and I know something has to change. But what, and how? The only way to answer is to first figure out what I need. What do I mean by “needs?” I mean, the things we absolutely must have right now if we want any shot of fulfilling those desires we envision.

I know it can be hard for many of us to admit we have needs, or to not feel guilty about meeting them. So, let me just When Life Hands You Lemons...Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #ThisIsHowWeGrow #TIHWGsay it loud and clear: You have needs because you actually NEED these things. It’s not a question of worthiness; it’s a matter of necessity. It’s a matter of life or death, wellness or illness, joy or despair. For me, right now, I need sleep. I need space in which I can ponder, learn, and heal. I need to focus on my family; I need to let us have fun together, create memories, and recharge. Knowing my needs is the first step in getting them met. (More on How to Get Needs Met here.)

 

4) Fearlessly meet your needs. If you know what you absolutely need, then you absolutely need to get those needs met. It’s not an option to keep saying, “I don’t really need this,” or “it can wait,” or “Well, no one else seems to think I need this, so I must be wrong.” No. Trust me. We cannot afford to fail in meeting our needs. The cost is too high. My dear friend recently lost her life to depression because she was not able to acknowledge her needs and let help in.

We cannot keep putting off our needs. We must demand they be met. We must breathe, trust ourselves, then fearlessly say “No” when we must, “Yes” when we must, and keep repeating, “I need your help,” until we get our needs met. I know it’s not easy, but we mustn’t give up. (More on How to Meet Needs: 4 Tips for Asking & Receiving) (More on How to Not Let Fear Get the Better of You!

 
 
Stop…TODAY…and Reevaluate.

That’s how we get to where we want to be in life. That’s how we overcome life’s struggles, become our highest self, and flourish in joy and love. Stop today and reevaluate what you want to do with your lemons. Learn from the bitter in life, and you will one day know the sweet.

 

 

 

What makes you stop and reevaluate life? What tools help you fearlessly meet your needs? Share with us by leaving a comment, below!

 

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com.

    

 
 
 

Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

FREE. Online. Growth. What more could you ask for?

 
 
 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

You may manage your subscription options from your profile.

 
 
 

When Life Hands You Lemons...Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #TIHWG #personalgrowth #MH

 
 
 

Let’s Connect…

“Like” my Facebook pages (Dr. Christina HibbertThis Is How We Grow) and follow me on Twitter,Pinterest, & Instagram!

 
 
 
 
 
 

Related Articles/Posts:

Life: The Battle & The Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth)

Understanding & Coping with Loss & Trauma

PPD & Motherhood Mental Health: Self-Care & Letting Help In–The 2 Most Important Things

This Is How We Grow wins an IPPY Award in NYC & is one of Aspire Magazine’s “Top 10 Inspirational Books!

This is How We Grow:” Understanding the Seasons of Personal Growth

Join my Free, Online “This Is How We Grow” Personal Growth Group!

In Memory of my Sister, on the 5th Anniversary of her Death

What I’ve Learned about Personal Growth from a Decade of Yearly Themes

Weather the Storms Together: 4 Ways to Strengthen Families in Times of Stress

The 3 Layers of Self-Care

Discovering Self-Worth: Why is it So Hard to Love Ourselves?

Siblings & Grief: 10 Things Everyone Should Know

How to Feel Self-Worth: “The Pyramid of Self-Worth” (& video)

Learning Self-Love: 5 Tricks for Treating Yourself More Kindly

16 Things I’d Like My Postpartum Self to Know, 16 Years & 6 Kids Later (PSI Blog Hop)

Mom Mental Health (& Happiness): The Importance of Alone Time

Mom Mental Health: HOW to Get Alone Time (25+ Strategies) (& video)

Mother’s Day & “Mommy Fails”: 3 Messages All Moms Need to Hear

“Perfect?” or “Fake?” 8 Truths about Perfectionism, & 8 Truths to Cure It

The Best Father’s Day Gift: 7 Ways to Show Dad How Much He Matters

The Best Father's Day Gift: 7 Ways to show Dad how much he Matters; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

The Best Father's Day Gift: 7 Ways to show Dad how much he Matters; www.DrChristinaHibbert.comDads Matter.

I write often about how much moms matter, and certainly we do matter—tremendously. But today, it’s dad’s turn. Dads matter, too. Tremendously.

Unfortunately, I’ve seen too many dads who don’t fully realize how important they are. They don’t realize the potential they have to influence their children and families for the better. Many feel insignificant when it comes to their role as a father or feel inadequate at parenting and raising children.

 

7 Ways to Show Dad How Much He Matters
This Father’s Day, why not give your favorite dad the best gift of all—confidence and support in his most important role. Show him how much he matters—to you, to your children, to the world. Here are 7 ideas to get you started.

 

1) Show him the research on how fathers impact children for the better. I wrote an article about this last year—In The Best Father's Day Gift: 7 Ways to Show Dad How Much He Matters; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #fathersday #fatherhood #dadPraise of Fathers: 10 Research-Based Ways Dads Impact Kids for the Better—and it still holds true. The research is clear: children need their fathers (or a loving father figure). They benefit greatly when dad is an active part of their lives. Show him this research and add your testimony of the great impact fathers have had on your life or the lives of your children.

 

2) Moms—Let Dad do things “his” way, then see the good in it. Tell him how grateful you are for what he does as a dad. Often we mothers are the biggest block to our husbands/partners feeling successful as fathers. We are the “gateway” to the children, and whether we mean to or not, we can block opportunities for him to shine in his role as “dad.” It’s taken me years to stop preventing my husband from wrestling with our kids late at night. It used to drive me crazy because they’d be all riled up before sleep, but I realized it’s more important for them to have those memories with their dad. He feels great playing with them, and I feel grateful he wants to play. Let him do things his way, then see the good and tell him what you see.

 

3) Write a heartfelt letter, and encourage his children to do the same. Dad may seem too “tough” for a love letter, but trust me, he’s not. Write about your favorite memories. Write about what you love most about him. Write how much good he does for you and how much you need him in your life. Write, “I love you.” Don’t waste a minute of life’s precious time. Make sure he knows exactly how much he matters to you—and the kids—by writing it down.

 

4) Give him opportunities to be a leader in the home. We women can sometimes take over things at home, making it frustrating for the men who really do want to be the role model and lead the family. Invite him to be in charge of an important family activity, meeting, or event. Tell him how much you admire his leadership abilities and encourage him to use them with the children. Support and encourage his efforts. Repeat daily.

 

5) Encourage him to spend quality, one-on-one time with each child, and encourage the children to do the same. Parenting is really about the relationship we develop with each child. Help Dad strengthen his relationships by encouraging one-The Best Father's Day Gift: 7 Ways to Show Dad How Much He Matters; www.DrChristinaHibbert.comon-one time. Daddy-daughter dates, father-son activities—these are pivotal in creating strong family relationships. Even if you’re an adult, spending one-on-one time with your father is a wonderful gift. Having time to get to know one another without other family members around builds bonds that last a lifetime. It shows children, and fathers, how much they really matter.

 

6) Speak his love language. How does he best receive love? Is it physical touch? Spending time? Words of affirmation? Gifts? Acts of service? Discover his love language, then use it to show him how much he matters. Have his children do the same. (More on Love Languages here.)

 

7) Commit to building him up as a father, then communicate your commitment. As a mom of six, I know how easy it can be to get caught up in just keeping up. Too often, I forget how important it is to nurture my husband’s role and relationships as a father. It is important. As my children have grown, I have seen how he compliments me and how, together as parents, we have so much more to offer our children.

 

Don’t forget the fathers in your life. Commit to supporting and strengthening them in their role as a father. Then, tell them how much you need them. Write it, say it, sing it…whatever method works best for you.

 

We need strong fathers in our families. We need strong fathers in our world. This Father’s Day, and every day, commit to giving the best gift of all—the gift of encouragement, support, and unconditional love for fathers and all they do.

 

 

How have fathers made an impact in your life? What are your suggestions for strengthening dads, showing them they matter? Leave a comment, below!

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s award-winning Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com.

    

Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

FREE. Online. Growth. What more could you ask for?

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

You may manage your subscription options from your profile.

Click Here to Subscribe

The Best Father's Day Gift: 7 Ways to show Dad how much he Matters; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

Let’s Connect…

“Like” my Facebook pages (Dr. Christina HibbertThis Is How We Grow) and follow me on Twitter,Pinterest, & Instagram!

Related Articles/Posts:

In Praise of Fathers: 10 Research-Based Ways Dads Impact Kids for the Better

Parenting Success: It’s more about the Parent than the Child

17 Ways to Make Marriage Work

Life: The Battle & The Beauty (The Paradox of Personal Growth)

Men & Postpartum Depression: The Facts on Paternal Postnatal Depression

Improve Communication= Improve Relationships. Improve Yourself.

Couples & Romantic Love: 9 Ways to Improve Intimacy in Relationships

Parenting Success Skills Top 10: #1 Do Your Own Work First

Parenting Success Skills Top 10: #2 The Number 1 Rule of Parenting–Consistency

Parenting Teens: Am I Doing a Good Enough Job?

Postpartum Depression Treatment–For Dads and Partners

PPD & Motherhood Mental Health: Self-Care & Letting Help In–The 2 Most Important Things

This Is How We Grow wins an IPPY Award in NYC & is one of Aspire Magazine’s “Top 10 Inspirational Books!

Join my Free, Online “This Is How We Grow” Personal Growth Group!

Weather the Storms Together: 4 Ways to Strengthen Families in Times of Stress

How to Feel Self-Worth: “The Pyramid of Self-Worth” (& video)

16 Things I’d Like My Postpartum Self to Know, 16 Years & 6 Kids Later (PSI Blog Hop)

Mom Mental Health (& Happiness): The Importance of Alone Time

Mom Mental Health: HOW to Get Alone Time (25+ Strategies) (& video)

Mother’s Day & “Mommy Fails”: 3 Messages All Moms Need to Hear

Life: The Battle & The Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth)

Life: The Battle and the Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth) www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

Life: The Battle & The Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth) www.DrChristinaHibbert.comLife. It sure can be demanding. It sure can be beautiful. It’s a paradox, isn’t it? As I’ve said before, we can learn to “live in the paradox;” it’s how we grow (This is How We Grow, p. 59). It’s where I’m living now.

 

The Paradox of Life

I’m reminded of the popular theme song from one of my favorite childhood TV shows, “You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have…”—life. Life doesn’t ebb and flow in perfect crests and swells like the ocean. It comes crashing like a thunderstorm on a sunny day—and is just as beautiful. We finally overcome life’s challenges only to find another spell of trouble upon us. We experience pain as, simultaneously, miracles abound.

 

The past weeks have been such for me—the good, the bad, the ugly…and the beautiful. I’ve been out of touch online and here on my blog, because once again, life has been happening, and when life happens we need to show up and live it.

 

The Battle and The Beauty

On April 28th, my dear friend took her life as a result of severe depression. She’d left her daughter with me that day, and my family was there for every minute of her story unfolding. She was a wonderful mother and friend and person. A light in every room she entered. She was a second mother to my children. Her three children have been best friends with mine for ten years; I’ve been a “second mom” to them. Now, I really am.

 

Those who’ve read This is How We Grow, those who know my story, my family’s story, know how close to home this hits for us. It’s been extremely hard, as grief always is. Just as we were finally finding our footing in “normal” life, the heartache has returned—the pain of once more seeing my children in pain as they grieve their “second mom,” of seeing my friend’s children and husband grieve their mother and wife. The sorrow of our community at this tragedy, and how we were hit with a second tragedy just two weeks later, as a young man at our kids’ same school took his life, too.

 

Yet I have experienced the beauty. The hope of family and community as we have banded together in support and love for the friends we have lost, for their families, and for each other. The outpouring of concern and kindness and generosity, not only for the families in grief, but for my own children, for me, and for others who may be suffering.

 

May is always a tough month, as many parents will attest. Every project, activity, performance, banquet, ceremony happens in May. We call it May-hem, and it always is—this year even more so. It was beautiful, however, to sit with my husband and our friend’s husband and watch our two daughters, BFFs, emcee the school talent show. There has been beauty in going to plays and recitals and receiving hugs, in feeling so much love as a community. There has been beauty in watching us all work to move on.

 

At the same time, my second book manuscript was due to my publisher. I tried for an extension since my mind was mush, but was "This Is How We Grow" wins an IPPY Award. LIFE: The Battle & The Beauty www.DrChristinaHibbert.comlovingly told it was not possible. This was the one deadline in the contract that was set in stone. Every day for the past month, I awoke, tended to my family and my new “family” (my friend’s), then shoved the grief aside and forced my brain to focus as I wrote. I made my deadline a day early. (The Breakup Breakthrough, with New Harbinger Publications, will be released March 2015.)

 

In the midst of everything, I had the opportunity to travel to Sacramento, to give a keynote address for the California Maternal Mental Health Collaborative and speak the next day at the CA Maternal Wellness Summit. May was Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, and I was fueled by my friend’s death as well as the death of my own sister over six years ago, to speak out and encourage the work we are doing to strengthen and help mothers. No woman, mother, person should ever have to feel so desperate, so alone. We must work diligently to help one another, to care for each other, and to let help in when we need it.

 

That was the day I learned my memoir, This Is How We Grow, my very first book, had won an Independent Publisher Book Award, an IPPY. I flew to New York last week and was full of gratitude as I received the medal. (More on that here.) The day I returned from New York was the last day of school for my girls, the next day was the last day for my boys, and the next day, last Saturday, my firstborn son, Braxton, graduated from high school.

 

Now, here I am. The whirlwind of May-hem has abated. My first “baby” has graduated (I’m still emotional about that). Summer is Graduation day! Life: The Battle & The Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth) www.DrChristinaHibbert.comupon us once more (I’m always conflicted when summer begins and know I need a summer sanity plan). I’m back in counseling, once again doing the familiar work of grief and trauma, and I’m trying to continue to practice what I preach—to let myself be in the season I’m in. I need a moment to figure out just which season, or rather, seasons that would be. I haven’t had a moment yet.

 

Perhaps that’s why I’m taking this moment. Perhaps that’s why I’m writing all this out. I feel…so many things. Hopeful, and sad, and grateful, and exhausted, and loved, and alone, and full of love and loving for one and all. I am seeking peace amidst the whirlwind—and finding it in small moments like this one.

 

Living the Paradox of Personal Growth

Yes, life is a paradox. As I’ve said before, “Paradox is part of the cyclical nature of things. As we die, so are we born. As we love, so are we left. As we do, so are we undone. Sometimes these cycles feel against nature. But we can choose to let it be…Paradox is the ultimate soil for personal growth” (This is How We Grow, p. 60).

 

You know I believe in growing. That’s my hope as I fall back into the Fall and Winter seasons of growth once more—that I may continue to feel the Spring and Summer. That I may continue to embrace life, the battle and the beauty.

 

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com.

    

 
 
 
 

Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

FREE. Online. Growth. What more could you ask for?

 
 
 
 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

You may manage your subscription options from your profile.

 
 
 
 

Life: The Battle and the Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth) www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

 
 
 
 

Let’s Connect…

“Like” my Facebook pages (Dr. Christina HibbertThis Is How We Grow) and follow me on Twitter,Pinterest, & Instagram!

 
 
 
 
 

Related Articles/Posts:

Understanding & Coping with Loss & Trauma

PPD & Motherhood Mental Health: Self-Care & Letting Help In–The 2 Most Important Things

This Is How We Grow wins an IPPY Award in NYC & is one of Aspire Magazine’s “Top 10 Inspirational Books!

This is How We Grow:” Understanding the Seasons of Personal Growth

Join my Free, Online “This Is How We Grow” Personal Growth Group!

In Memory of my Sister, on the 5th Anniversary of her Death

What I’ve Learned about Personal Growth from a Decade of Yearly Themes

Weather the Storms Together: 4 Ways to Strengthen Families in Times of Stress

The 3 Layers of Self-Care

Discovering Self-Worth: Why is it So Hard to Love Ourselves?

Siblings & Grief: 10 Things Everyone Should Know

How to Feel Self-Worth: “The Pyramid of Self-Worth” (& video)

Learning Self-Love: 5 Tricks for Treating Yourself More Kindly

16 Things I’d Like My Postpartum Self to Know, 16 Years & 6 Kids Later (PSI Blog Hop)

Mom Mental Health (& Happiness): The Importance of Alone Time

Mom Mental Health: HOW to Get Alone Time (25+ Strategies) (& video)

Mother’s Day & “Mommy Fails”: 3 Messages All Moms Need to Hear

“Perfect?” or “Fake?” 8 Truths about Perfectionism, & 8 Truths to Cure It

 

 

“This Is How We Grow” Wins an “IPPY” Award in NYC & is one of Aspire Magazine’s “Top 10 Inspirational Books!”

"This is How We Grow" wins an IPPY Award in NYC and is one of Aspire Magazine's "Top 10 Inspirational Books!" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #TIHWG #books #psychology #motherhood #mentalhealth

"This is How We Grow" wins an IPPY Award in NYC and is one of Aspire Magazine's "Top 10 Inspirational Books!" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #TIHWG #books #psychology #motherhood #mentalhealthI was pacing my hotel room in Sacramento, CA a few weeks ago, doing last-minute preparations for a presentation when, quickly checking my email, I saw a message titled, “IPPY Award Winner Interview.”

I’d already seen a few emails from the Independent Publisher’s Book Awards announcing winners in various categories, and, assuming I hadn’t won, I’d deleted the final two announcements. I almost deleted the “interview” email, too, but instead clicked on it and read the first line: “Congratulations on winning an IPPY Award!”

“What? Did I win an award?” I wondered, and went back through my junk mail until I found the official answer. “Yes!” This Is How We Grow had won an Independent Publisher’s Book Award, or an “IPPY,” for “Best Adult Nonfiction Ebook!

Two weeks later, I was off to New York City to accept the award, and what a trip! My close friend since 5th grade and one of my editors for This is How We Grow, Becky, came with me–the perfect culmination to our long hours of work together. We saw the sights for 2 1/2 days–The Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, 9/11 Memorial, Central Park, The Met, MOMA, and three broadway shows.

With my lifelong friend and editor, Becky Bagley, at the IPPYs.

With my lifelong friend and editor, Becky Bagley, at the IPPYs.

But it was the ceremony that meant the most to me. Not because I received a medal, or even because I was being recognized. No,

fun as it was to see the other winners and meet some interesting new people, that wasn’t what made this a memorable moment for

me.

What made it memorable came to me in my on-camera interview before the ceremony even began (which will be posted for you to see soon!). The interviewer asked, “What does this award mean to you?” It made me think.

“For one,” I replied, “it means my real life story–my family’s story–is being honored. It somehow validates all we’ve been through,” I said.

“Also, being my first book, it validates my writing,” I continued. “It honors the four years I spent diligently working on this project, hoping it might help others some day. This award shows me I was right, that it will.”

Three days later, This is How We Grow received another humble honor as one of Aspire Magazine’s “Top 10 Inspirational Books.”

Receiving my IPPY medal in NYC!

Receiving my IPPY medal in NYC!

Each recognition is another boost that the message of This is How We Grow is needed, that it is resonating with those who need it most.

My “Acceptance Speech…”

No, there wasn’t time for an acceptance speech at the awards, but I would be pretty ungrateful if I failed to do so now…

I am deeply grateful to all who have read and shared This is How We Grow, to all who have sent me messages of support, encouragement, and love and to those who have shared with me your own stories of hope and healing through reading my story.

I am grateful for all the book clubs who’ve discussed the book, and those who have invited me to participate in their clubs in-person or through Skype. What a joy and pleasure it has been getting to know you! Also, I am grateful for all who have reviewed the book on Amazon and Goodreads–it helps more than you know!

Finally, I thank my husband, OJ, and my beautiful children for not only allowing but for helping me GROW through our experiences and my new journey as an author. Everything I do, I do it for and because of you.

Have a copy of This is How We Grow and want an IPPY seal for it?
Just email me and, for the cost of a stamp and envelope, I can mail you one!

 

IPPY Award Winner & Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow: A Psychologists Memoir of Loss, Motherhood, & Discovering Self-Worth and Joy, One Season at a Time www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #TIHWG

Check out Amazon Bestseller & IPPY Award Winner, This is How We Grow,

now available on Amazon.com!

 

 

 

Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

FREE. Online. Growth. What more could you ask for?

 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

You may manage your subscription options from your profile.

 

Related Posts:

My Book is a #1 Amazon Bestseller!

“This is How We Grow” Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth.

“This is How We Grow” Blog Hop: 10 Ways I Choose to Grow Each Day

“This Is How We Grow”: Understanding the Seasons of Personal Growth

Weather the Storms Together: 4 Ways to Strengthen Families Through Times of Stress

Mom MentalHealth (& Happiness): The Importance of Alone Time

Siblings & Grief: 10 Things Everyone Should Know

“This Is How We Grow” Charity Fundraiser: Buy a book, help a wonderful family.

My dear friend, Jody.

 

My dear friend, Jody.

My dear friend, Jody.

Help a Wonderful Family

As I shared in my recent post, “Self-Care & Letting Help In–The 2 Most Important Things,” I lost my dear friend, Jody, last week, as a result of mental illness. She left behind her husband and three children, 17, 15, and 10.

 

This is one of the best families I know, always smiling and ready to lend a hand to those in need. Jody was the same–volunteering countless hours at the kids’ schools, on basketball and baseball teams, and with her daughter at the humaine society, she had an infectious smile and a laugh that lit up the room. A full-time mother, she put her heart and soul into everything she did for her family.

 

My children, husband, and I are all devastated she is gone. The community is feeling the void of not having her there. Her husband and children are demonstrating remarkable strength and coping as well as possible. But I know the weeks and months to come will be even more difficult as they learn to navigate their world without their mother and wife.

 

 

This is How We Grow “Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month”

Charity Fundraiser

In memory of Jody, I will be donating all proceeds from sales of my book, This is How We Grow, during the month of May, "This Is How We Grow" Charity Fundraiser: Buy a book, help a wonderful family! www.DrChristinaHibbert.comMaternal Mental Health Awareness Month, to the Memorial Fund set up for her family in her honor.

 

This fund will provide her family with the financial assistance they will need to manage their home, care for the children, and to facilitate healing.

 

To purchase a book, please visit Amazon.com.

 

You may also make a direct donation, if you would like. Donations may be made by check to The McDaniel Family Fund and mailed to 2388 N. Broken Circle Rd., Flagstaff, AZ, 86004, or deposited directly to Wells Fargo Account 3055256113.

 

 

Let us Support One Another.

I don’t think it’s any accident that May happens to be Maternal Mental Health Awareness month. With Mother’s Day approaching, it’s the time of year we celebrate and remember all mothers, especially those in need. If you aren’t able to donate money, please donate time. Be there for each other through the tough times, reaching out to the mothers, fathers, and children who need you. Let us support one another. Let us encourage one another. Let us strengthen one another’s families. Let us open our hearts and love.

 

 

 

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com

**This is How We Grow Charity Fundraiser**

All proceeds from sales of This is How We Grow during the month of May 2014 will be donated to The McDaniel Family Fund, in honor of Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month and in memory of my dear friend, Jody, who lost her life last week. 

 

  

Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

FREE. Online. Growth. What more could you ask for?

 

 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

You may manage your subscription options from your profile.

 

  

Let’s Connect…

“Like” my Facebook pages (Dr. Christina HibbertThis Is How We Grow) and follow me on Twitter,Pinterest, & Instagram!

  

SITE DESIGN BY DESIGNER BLOGS