Interviews with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Award-Winning Author of This Is How We Grow”

Interviews with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Award-Winning Author of "This Is How We Grow"; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

Interviews with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Award-Winning Author of "This Is How We Grow"; www.DrChristinaHibbert.comI’m always happy when others are interested in my work or my writing, but I’m especially grateful for opportunities to share the real me. To talk about my past and things like overcoming grief and postpartum depression, to discuss how I presently find ways to grow as a mother, psychologist, and author, and to dream about my future–in short, to let others see who I truly am and what I stand for. That’s why I’ve been thrilled lately to have had several interviews–on camera, radio, and in-print–which have enabled me to show my true colors.

 

 

“This is How We Grow” Interviews–various perspectives for all kinds of audiences

I am happy to share with you a few interviews I particularly enjoyed (below), because even though they’re all book interviews, they are 1) each with people from different perspectives and points of view, 2) speak to unique audiences, and 3) share insights on different topics, from writing, to fulfilling your dreams, to postpartum depression, to faith. Though they started out as an interview related to This Is How We Grow, each has its unique spin, opening up a little different side of me, and for that I am grateful.

I love to learn about other real people–to know how they do it in life, what their challenges are, how they overcome, become, and flourish. I hope, as you check out one, or two, or all of these interviews, they will do the same for you–help you

Receiving my IPPY medal in NYC!

Receiving my IPPY medal in NYC!

connect with me in some small way and know you’re not the only one. Help you see some new ways to grow. Then, I hope you’ll leave a comment here or on the video/post itself and let me know a little bit about what resonates with you. I desire to get to know what makes you tick just as much as I hope you’ll get to know a little more about me.

 

 

IPPY Book Award Interview–(For writers, fans of dreams coming true, and lovers of This is How We Grow!)

An hour before the Independent Publisher’s Book Awards (IPPYs) began, in New York City, I had the opportunity to sit down with their interviewer and discuss my book, the award, and what it meant to me.

I wrote about this experience here, but let me just add that this was an important event for me as an author. It was not only my first book award for This is How We Grow, but it was my first on-camera interview. I never get nervous to speak, even to large crowds, but I admit, I was a little nervous for this interview. Since I knew I’d be getting a copy to use for forever, I wanted it to be great, and you know what? I think it is pretty great. I hope you think so too!

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Word of Mom Radio (For Moms, Business Women, and Entrepreneurs!)

As I write this it is the day before my interview with Word of Mom Radio, an online radio show that seeks to empower “mompreneurs” and business women. I actually met Word of Mom founder, Dori DiCarlo on Twitter (hooray for social media!) and we immediately hit it off. After an hour long phone conversation, I sent her a copy of my book, which she quickly read. She tweeted me, “Honestly it is one of the best books I have read in a long time…I rarely annotate books and can’t help myself with yours.” I was honored, and on Thursday July 24, at 10 am PDT/ 1 EDT I will be honored to be a guest on Dori’s show to discuss how I juggle six children, a husband and home, a psychology practice, and now full-time work as an author!

The show is titled, “Award Winning Author Dr. Christina Hibbert on the Mompreneur Model Show” and you can listen to the live stream at this link, or you can check back here after the show and I will add the podcast archive for later listening.

 

 

Segullah & Julie de Azevedo Hanks Blogs (For LDS, Faith-Based, and Spiritual Insights!)

Last week I was thrilled to be featured in two different posts on Segullah.org. The first was a This Is How We Grow book

I love this pic of Julie Hanks and me, expressing our many emotional sides at a women's conference.

I love this pic of Julie Hanks and me, expressing our many emotional sides at a women’s conference.

review, by editor Shelah Miner, and the second was an interview Shelah did with me. Segullah runs a journal and blog, its mission being “to encourage literary and artistic talent, provoke thought and promote greater understanding and faith among Latter-day Saint women.” It’s no secret I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, or “a Mormon,” as many people call us. I thoroughly enjoyed this interview with Segullah because it allowed me to share my experiences with achieving my dream of becoming an author, how I manage to write with six kids needing me all the time, and also to share some of my faith-building experiences I’ve had along my journey so far. You can check out the interview here: Faces of Latter-Day Saint Women: A Conversation with Author & Psychologist Dr. Christina Hibbert.

In a similar vein, I was honored to be interviewed by my good friend, Julie de Azevedo Hanks, last November when This is How We Grow was released. Julie is a well-known self and relationship expert, media personality, and singer-songwriter, and we’ve known each other for almost 8 years now. I loved Julie’s interview because she knows me. She knows what to ask and how to ask it, and again, I can also share my faith experiences with her since she is a member of the LDS faith as well. Check out Julie’s article, “Q & A with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Author of This is How We Grow,” here.

 

 

Postpartum Progress, Ivy’s PPD Blog, & Birthtouch (For Pregnant and Postpartum Moms, Dads, and Families!) 

Finally, I want to share some interviews and guest posts I did a few months back that center around the theme of “Postpartum Depression/Anxiety“. As a four-time survivor of PPD, I know a thing or two about how challenging it can be to feel well after a new baby comes, and especially how challenging it can be to feel well again. But as a clinical psychologist and expert in pregnancy and postpartum mood/anxiety disorders, I also know 1) you are not alone, 2) you will be well, and 3) with help, you will be well (PSI’s universal message). I am grateful for every opportunity I’m given to help pregnant and postpartum women realize these things.

It’s important for pregnant and postpartum women to realize they’re not the only ones feeling this way, and I loved the following three interviews/ guest posts for this very reason. I hope you’ll check them out and share with any pregnant/postpartum women and families you know:

Ivy’s PPD Blog: Interview with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Author of This Is How We Grow

Postpartum Progress Blog: Pregnancy & Postpartum Loss, Grief, & Family Healing, Part 1 & How to Cope with and Treat Perinatal Loss, Part 2

Birthtouch Blog: Interview & Book Review, This is How We Grow by Dr. Christina Hibbert

 

 

Do you enjoy learning about other people’s real lives as much as I do? In what ways did you most connect to one or more of these interviews? What do we have in common? I’d love to get to know you, too, so please leave a comment for me, below!

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com.
     
Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

FREE. Online. Growth. What more could you ask for?

 

 

 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

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Interviews with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Award-Winning Author of "This Is How We Grow"; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

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Related Articles/Posts:

This Is How We Grow wins an IPPY Award in NYC & is one of Aspire Magazine’s “Top 10 Inspirational Books!

When Life Hands You Lemons, Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs 

Life: The Battle & The Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth)

Family Summer Vacation, & Personal Growth? 10 Things I Learned in an RV with my Family of 8 for 8 Days

Summer Reading & Personal Growth: Dr. Hibbert’s Top 10 Personal Growth Books

Understanding & Coping with Loss & Trauma

PPD & Motherhood Mental Health: Self-Care & Letting Help In–The 2 Most Important Things

This is How We Grow:” Understanding the Seasons of Personal Growth

Join my Free, Online “This Is How We Grow” Personal Growth Group!

In Memory of my Sister, on the 5th Anniversary of her Death

What I’ve Learned about Personal Growth from a Decade of Yearly Themes

Weather the Storms Together: 4 Ways to Strengthen Families in Times of Stress

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Discovering Self-Worth: Why is it So Hard to Love Ourselves?

Family Summer Vacation, & Personal Growth?: 10 Things I Learned in an RV w/my Family of 8 for 8 Days

Family Vacation & Personal Growth: 10 Things I Learned in an RV w/my Family of 8 for 8 Days; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #personalgrowth #TIHWG #motherhood #parenting #mentalhealth

Family Vacation & Personal Growth: 10 Things I Learned in an RV w/my Family of 8 for 8 Days; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #personalgrowth #TIHWG #motherhood #parenting #mentalhealthI knew it would be an adventure—driving over 2,000 miles in an RV, with my husband and our six kids, for 8 days, from Flagstaff, AZ to Las Vegas, to Utah to Idaho, to Montana to Yellowstone National Park, to Jackson, Wyoming and back. We’d been wanting to do this trip for years, and since my oldest had just graduated from high school (I still can’t believe I have a college student!), it was now or never.

We weren’t oblivious, however. My husband, OJ, and I both knew that being together, 24/7, in very tight quarters could be disastrous! “It will be memorable,” we laughed to each other. “Either it will be so bad we’ll never forget, or it will be so good.” I figured, based on our history, the former would be the case. I was pleasantly surprised to be wrong.

 

 

From Surviving to Thriving on Family Vacation

I had no idea how incredible this vacation would be—the scenery of Yellowstone, yes, but also the experience with my family. We’d had a rough few months going into it. We’d all been struggling through grief, especially me, yet on this crazy trip I felt better than I had in months. It made me wonder why.

On our drive home, I pulled out a notebook and began to write. I wanted to figure out why this trip, which had such potential to go horribly wrong, had gone so well. It made me wonder if I could take some lessons home with me to my “real life” and apply them. It gave me hope I might be able to bring this same peace, love, and joy I’d found, back home into my ordinary days.

 

 

10 Ways our Family Vacation Inspired my Personal Growth

(& how it can inspire yours, too!)

Not only did I have a really fun time on our family vacation; I grew. I didn’t intend to grow, it just happened.  Now, I hope to take what I learned on our trip and put it into practice in my everyday life.

So, here are 10 unexpected things I learned on this unexpected vacation, and thus 10 lessons I’m working to implement in my daily life now. I hope, in sharing them, you might feel inspired to do the same.

 

1) It forced me to live in the now. Kids have a way of doing that. It’s one thing I’ve always appreciated about being a mom of 6: I don’t have time to get too stuck in my head, because my kids are always pulling me back to the here and now. And being together all the time on this trip definitely left me with only “now.” Yes, at times it drove me nuts, constantly hearing, “Mom, mom,” but more so it was good for me. Also, Yellowstone is such an incredible place, with so much wildlife and beauty, you have to focus as you drive or you might miss something really good—like this bear by the side of the road or this incredible waterfall and river, as seen from “Artist’s Point” at “The Little Grand Canyon of Yellowstone.”

Family Vacation & Personal Growth? www.DrChristinaHibbert.comFamily Vacation, & Personal Growth? www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2) Traveling, for me, I realized, is a state of “flow,” and that means it helps me forget the unpleasantries of life. Yes, traveling with kids is crazy, and when they were younger it usually just pushed me over the edge of insanity. But I LOVE to travel, and now that they’re older, I love showing my kids the world, too. I was reading, “Flow,” by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, on this trip and I realized, for me, traveling is a state of “flow,” or can be. This quote explains what I mean, “One of the most frequently mentioned dimensions of the flow experience is that, while it lasts, one is able to forget all the unpleasant aspects of life…Enjoyable activities require a complete focusing of attention on the task at hand–thus leaving no room in the mind for irrelevant information.” (p. 58) Like the impressive river in that photo, above, I love  traveling; love being in flow.

 

3) Time with no electronics for a week? Priceless. I really don’t need to be plugged in all the time. I’m much more relaxed, much happier when I’m not. It also forced my four teenaged sons and two young, wannabe-teenaged daughters off their phones, tablets, and gaming devices. They had to spend all day playing and interacting with each other, and with us! Cards, Frisbee, football, bike-riding, I loved hearing them laugh together. Incredibly healing for all of us after we’ve had such a tough past few months.

Summer Family Vacation & Personal Growth; www.DrchristinaHibbert.com Summer Family Vacation & Personal Growth? www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4) I slept more soundly. Driving, moving, exploring all day, does wonders for a terrible sleeper like me. Even with 8 of us in a small, enclosed space, we all zonked out at the end of the day. It may have been late, and I may not have actually slept more hours than I usually do, but I definitely slept more deeply (with the help of earplugs, of course). The balance between activity and rest is crucial to sleep, and it makes me want to get out and explore more in my real life, too.

 

5) Seeing the beauty of the world brings out our own beauty. It reminds me of how vast and grand the world is and how tiny and shrinking my head. It reminds me how much I LOVE nature, and how amazing I feel when immersed in it. When I get out of my tiny head and just experience the beauty, I feel more beautiful, joyful, loving. How can you not, when you see things like this all day…

One of the most beautiful calderas (hot springs) we saw.

One of the most beautiful calderas (hot springs) we saw.

The Grand Tetons. Truly majestic.

The Grand Tetons. Truly majestic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6) It reminded me of my love for music, especially music with my family. Hearing my boys play guitar and laugh while “jamming” together, and seeing my girls do fireside song and dance performances was heavenly. It relaxes me. It also showed me how badly I need to get practicing guitar and song-writing again. It lights me up.

 

7) It made me appreciate my husband so much more. On the first day, OJ woke up at 5:30 (after a very late night Summer family Vacation & Personal Growth; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com before) and drove us from southern Utah to Montana while we all slept in. It was the best sleep in I’ve had in ages, with the rocking of the moving motor home! I woke up thinking, “What a guy.” I told him so. It made me really appreciate how hard he works for our happiness. Sure, we had our fighting moments (because, when traveling, let’s face it—things can get pretty stressful pretty quickly!), but there’s nothing like seeing the world with the one you adore, who adores you right back. (Read 17 Secrets for Making Marriage Work)

 

8) I really am happier with less. I’ve been craving simplicity for, well, forever. Now, I’m motivated to do something about it. Less stuff. Less saying yes to things that deplete me. More saying “yes” to living and being and loving. (Read Daily Mindfulness: 6 Ways to Put More Being into what You’re Doing)

 

9) Teaching my kids about and showing them the world is the best education—for them and me. I love showing them new places and new ways of seeing things. I also love hearing their perspectives on things as we do. I learn just as much, if not more, from them as they do from me.

 

10) Family vacations are an excellent lesson in patience and love.  Yes, I had to continually practice patience, do my deep breathing, etc, and I did lose it with the kids sometimes (namely late at night when they were fighting and I was beyond tired). But, I also held it together so many more times. I taught my daughter how to deep breathe and start journaling, too, to help her deal with the stress of her siblings. I guess we were all learning patience and greater love. Each kid had a ‘job’ each day—a job to become more patient and loving. “Your job is to look for the good and say it out loud today.” “Your job is to look around and notice what others need and not just what you want, and then to help them.” “Your job is to be more sharing with your things.” “Yours is to take 10 deep breaths each time you’re feeling too stressed and tired, and to pray when you need extra help.” (That was mine most of the time.)

 

How Family Vacation can Translate into Greater Love, Joy & Peace at Home

The big Question, then, after coming home and processing this experience, was this: “Why was I so much “better,” or as

Our Yellowstone campsite was amazing. Overlooking a grassy field that led to Lake Yellowstone, we hung a hammock off in the trees. I spent as much time here as I could. Ahh...peace.

Our Yellowstone campsite was amazing. Overlooking a grassy field that led to Lake Yellowstone, we hung a hammock off in the trees. I spent as much time here as I could. I came home and hung the hammock on our back deck. Ahh…peace.

OJ said, “put together,” in this crazy situation, versus at home?” And, more importantly, “Can’t I choose to be this way all the time?”

I’m sure going to try. I figure, what good is all this personal growth I achieved on vacation if I can’t somehow bring it home? I can choose to live in the now each day, to find my “flow” in what I do, or seek it when it’s missing. I can turn off the electronics, spend more quality time with my family, and notice more of the great beauty around me; chances are, I’ll sleep more soundly. I can clear the clutter–both mentally and physically and simplify my schedule and mind. I can focus on love and patience, and actively seek the good in my husband and children. I can sing more and develop my talents, and I can share them with my kids–another great way to learn from one another.

I can choose to follow my vacation rule, “No complaining.” What’s the point of complaining anyway? Instead, I can choose to bring that feel of this family vacation home every day. I can choose to continually grow.

And so can you.

 

What have you learned from family vacations? What surprises have you found that you’d like to share? We’d love to hear them, so please leave a comment, below!

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com.
     

 
 
 

Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

FREE. Online. Growth. What more could you ask for?

 
 
 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

You may manage your subscription options from your profile.

 
 
 

Family Vacation & Personal Growth: 10 Things I Learned in an RV w/my Family of 8 for 8 Days; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #personalgrowth #TIHWG #motherhood #parenting #mentalhealth

 
 
 

Let’s Connect…

“Like” my Facebook pages (Dr. Christina HibbertThis Is How We Grow) and follow me on Twitter,Pinterest, & Instagram!

 
 
 
 
 

Related Articles/Posts:

This Is How We Grow wins an IPPY Award in NYC & is one of Aspire Magazine’s “Top 10 Inspirational Books!

When Life Hands You Lemons, Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs 

Life: The Battle & The Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth)

Understanding & Coping with Loss & Trauma

PPD & Motherhood Mental Health: Self-Care & Letting Help In–The 2 Most Important Things

This is How We Grow:” Understanding the Seasons of Personal Growth

Join my Free, Online “This Is How We Grow” Personal Growth Group!

In Memory of my Sister, on the 5th Anniversary of her Death

What I’ve Learned about Personal Growth from a Decade of Yearly Themes

Weather the Storms Together: 4 Ways to Strengthen Families in Times of Stress

The 3 Layers of Self-Care

Discovering Self-Worth: Why is it So Hard to Love Ourselves?

Summer Reading & Personal Growth: Dr. Hibbert’s Top 10 Books

Dr. Christina Hibbert's "Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #summer #books

Dr. Christina Hibbert's "Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #summer #books

I love to read. I love learning, and I find there’s no better way to learn than by devouring book after book.

 

Summer Reading 

I especially love to read in the summer. My kids are all home, and with six of them, four of whom are teenagers, summers can be a little hectic. As I’ve said before, I feel like a lady-in-waiting in summer, biding my time waiting for the next child to come looking for a ride, an activity, a listening ear, or emotional support. As I wrote in This is How We Grow, “I read all summer long because: 1) I love learning, and 2) it is one activity I can do and not feel frustrated when I’m interrupted, because with six children home all day, that is about the only thing I can count on–interruption.” (p. 335)

 

I also love getting book ideas from friends and colleagues. I always post on my Facebook page at the beginning of summer, asking for summer reading suggestions, and I’d love to hear your suggestions in the comments, below.

 

Personal Growth Books & Summer Reading

Now, it’s time for me to give back and offer a few suggestions of my own. This first list (as I assume there will be more to follow) consists of some of my very favorite books of all time–those I read years ago, and those I have recently read. It’s hard to pick my absolute favorites because they’re all so different, but I started by going to my Goodreads reviews (join me on Goodreads for more ideas!) and listing those to which I gave 5 stars.

 

Understand, I only give 5 stars to books I absolutely LOVE. My standard rating is 3 stars for a book I like. 4 stars means it was better than average. But 5 stars means, for whatever reason, it sang to me. (Yes, I admit I’ve given 5 star ratings to friends’ books even if I would normally have given them less, but for the most part I’m pretty consistent.)

 

Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books

Below are ten of my top summer readings pics. I am a huge non-fiction reader, and I also love a good novel to help me escape. I’ve included both here. Fiction or non-fiction, all of them in some way inspired my own personal growth.  I hope one (or more) gets you reading this summer and helps you “grow,” too!

 

1) Wonder, R.J. Palacio. It’s no wonder I loved this story. It tells of a fifth grade boy born with a disfigured face who is Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books, w/Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #bookssimply trying to make his way in this crazy world. Told from the perspective of himself, his sister, parents, and friends, this easy-to-read book is a perfect glimpse into how we treat others and the perfect motivation to do a little bit better. A great family read–I recommended it to my own kids and even my husband. Your family will love it, too.

 

2) The Invention of Wings, Sue Monk KiddThis is one of my new all-time favorite books. Based on the real life story of two sisters who changed the abolition and women’s movements, this book is masterfully written and leaves you feeling inspired to make a difference in your world, too.

 

3) Leadership and Self-Deception, Arbinger Institute. This book changed my life. Really. It changed how I see myself in relation to those in my life, and it became a staple in what I teach others to do as a psychologist. Written in a story format, this book takes important, complex principles and delivers them in an easy-to-read format. After you read this, you might want to move on to one of my all-time favorite books, Bonds that Make Us Free, by C. Terry Warner (my former BYU professor!). It’s a much deeper read, so take your time if you read it. I’ve read, highlighted, and taken notes three times, and even taught a three-part book club on it!Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #books #summer

 

4) The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer, New Harbinger Publications. This NY Times bestseller is one of my all-time favorites, too. Mr. Singer writes in a simple way that helps readers understand how to keep our hearts open even when they want to keep closing. I even used this book for an entire year of  my in-person Personal Growth Group (you can join my online group here.). It’s also pretty cool this book was published by my publisher for my forthcoming book on Self-Esteem After a Breakup, New Harbinger Publications! (Coming March 2015!)

 

5) The Alchemist, Paulo Coehlo. I’ve also read this three times. I love mystical feel of the story, and I especially love how it pricks my heart and makes me wonder what I was sent to this earth to do, too.

 

6) Gift from the Sea, Anne Morrow Lindbergh. I have read this many times, and there’s nothing like reading it in the summer. This one will especially resonate with mothers of all ages and stages. It was a crucial part of me learning, yearsDr. Christina Hibbert's Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #summer #books ago, of the necessity of time away, alone, in motherhood. Hopefully, it can do the same for you.

 

7) The Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck. I didn’t read this classic book until just a few years ago, but once I did, whew! I underlined almost all of it. Dr. Peck writes beautifully about love and relationships and healing, and choosing to grow, and we all know I’m all about choosing to grow!

 

8) Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl. I read this in high school for the first time, and from that point on whenever asked “What is your favorite book?” I would say, “Man’s Search for Meaning.” Since then, I’ve read it many more times and quote from it often. The true story of how Dr. Frankl, a psychiatrist, survived a Nazi concentration camp, if you haven’t yet read it, it needs to be on your “must read” list, for sure.

Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #books #parenting

9) Have a New Kid by Friday, Dr. Kevin Leman. If you’re looking for a great parenting book, this is one of my favorites. Easy to understand, quick to grasp, this book will give you specific strategies you can implement immediately to help your children learn about natural consequences and help you feel less stressed. A great tool for summers when kids are home driving you crazy!

 

10) Daughter of the Forest Juliet Marillier (The first in the Sevenwaters series.) I have to add this book, because it is one of my favorite novels, and it is a great read if you’re looking for a little escape. Set in another world in another time, it tells the tale of one brave young woman and her seven brothers, but really it tells of family love. I enjoy reading clean books, and this has only one scene that’s painful to read (but necessary to the story). The rest of the story left me wanting more and feeling an immense increase of love for my own family. (I’ve also read the next two in the series and enjoyed them as well, but this is my favorite.)

IPPY Award Winner & Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow. "Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #books

Bonus: For pure fun–If you’re a Jane Austen fan (like I am) and looking for a clean romance to help you escape into summer, I recommend Edenbrooke, by Julianne Donaldson. It was one of my favorite summer reads last year. Pure fun. And fun is a very important part of personal growth!

 

 

**Final Note: While I definitely recommend my own book, IPPY-Award Winner,  This is How We Grow, as a great summer read that is guaranteed to inspire you to grow, I cannot review my own book. There are plenty of detailed reviews on Amazon from over 90 readers, however, so check them out, and see what you think!

 

 

Leave a comment!

What books do you recommend for a good summer read? What books have helped you grow the most? Have you read and of the books on my list? If so, what are your reviews? I’d love to hear your summer reading suggestions, so please leave me a comment, below!

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com.

    

 
 
 

Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

FREE. Online. Growth. What more could you ask for?

 
 
 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

You may manage your subscription options from your profile.

 
 
 

Dr. Christina Hibbert's "Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #summer #books

Let’s Connect…

“Like” my Facebook pages (Dr. Christina HibbertThis Is How We Grow) and follow me on Twitter,Pinterest, & Instagram!

 
 
 
 
 
 

Related Articles/Posts:

This Is How We Grow wins an IPPY Award in NYC & is one of Aspire Magazine’s “Top 10 Inspirational Books!

When Life Hands You Lemons, Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs 

Life: The Battle & The Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth)

Understanding & Coping with Loss & Trauma

PPD & Motherhood Mental Health: Self-Care & Letting Help In–The 2 Most Important Things

This is How We Grow:” Understanding the Seasons of Personal Growth

Join my Free, Online “This Is How We Grow” Personal Growth Group!

In Memory of my Sister, on the 5th Anniversary of her Death

What I’ve Learned about Personal Growth from a Decade of Yearly Themes

Weather the Storms Together: 4 Ways to Strengthen Families in Times of Stress

The 3 Layers of Self-Care

Discovering Self-Worth: Why is it So Hard to Love Ourselves?

Siblings & Grief: 10 Things Everyone Should Know

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“This Is How We Grow” Personal Growth Tools: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs

When Life Hands You Lemons...Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #TIHWG #personalgrowth #MH

  
When Life Hands You Lemons...Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #TIHWG #personalgrowth #MH

It’s no secret life has handed me some lemons–again. I wrote about it a week ago; once again, I’m in a season of loss and grief.

 

Being here again makes me wonder, “When life hands me lemons, do I really want to make lemonade? Is there something better waiting for me than a satisfying sip of a sugary drink?” It makes me stop and reevaluate.

 
 

Life Trials and Transitions: The Lemons
Some times of life naturally lead to self-reflection and evaluation. Transitions like the beginning of a school year, a birthday (especially a big one), New Year’s Day, and the beginning of summer always make me stop and reevaluate.

 

Then, there are life trials. These “lemons” life hands us provide another crucial time to stop and reevaluate. Lately, my lemons have been re-experiencing intense loss and grief. For others, it may be an episode of depression, a breakup or divorce, pregnancy or postpartum, a wayward child, or plain and simple life stress.

 

Like the seasons, life keeps changing, and as it does we must continually ask, “Am I going to go through this change, or can I choose to grow through this change?” “Like fall fades to winter and spring blooms to summer, we can choose to grow through [all] the seasons of life.” (This Is How We Grow, p. 5)

  

Reevaluating the Lemons of Life

The truth is, when life hands us lemons it might not always be best to make lemonade. Maybe it’s better to plant the lemon seeds and grow our own lemon tree so we can make lemonade any time we desire for everyone we know. Instead of jumping in and doing the easy or expected thing, perhaps we need to stop and reevaluate what is actually best for us at each phase and season of life.

 

That’s one great thing about hardships and change—they force us to slow down and pay attention. When we listen to our bodies, minds, experiences, life lessons, we learn, we grow, and eventually, up better than we could have dreamed.

  

Four Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs
How do we stop and reevaluate? First, stop. Literally sit quietly and breathe. Then, follow these four steps and repeat When Life Hands you Lemons...Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #ThisIsHowWeGrowoften. As Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Whatever season, transition, or hardship you’re in, take the time to examine life, where you are, and where you’re headed. It’s the surest way to get you where you really want to be.

 

1) Ask, “Where am I right now?” First, we must get real about where we are. This may involve accepting you’re not where you want to be. It may involve letting yourself feel things you’ve been trying not to feel. For me, this has involved admitting I’m back in the middle of grief, and picking up the phone to set up an appointment with my psychologist; it’s involved admitting I cannot do this alone. Be willing to see where you are. Gently open your eyes, and then honestly look at your life, the people in it, and where you seem to be headed.

 

2) Ask, “Where do I desire to be?” It is good to desire. It’s an important step in the process of overcoming, becoming, and flourishing. Close your eyes and envision where you would like to be. You may see yourself healthy and smiling, with relationships that thrive, or discovering your true self and fulfilling your life’s mission and purpose. At this point, I envision feeling grief-free, whole, healthy, and full of joy again; I imagine the same for my children.

Dream about all the blessings you desire to have one day. Then, write about what you see. Make it clear and concrete, and revisit your desires often. It is in reevaluating our desires that we course correct to eventually arrive at who, how, and where we want to be. (More on this, read “Create the Life You Desire” Part 1 & Part 2)

 

3) Ask, “What do I need?” This question has been constantly on my mind. I know I’m burned out, and I know something has to change. But what, and how? The only way to answer is to first figure out what I need. What do I mean by “needs?” I mean, the things we absolutely must have right now if we want any shot of fulfilling those desires we envision.

I know it can be hard for many of us to admit we have needs, or to not feel guilty about meeting them. So, let me just When Life Hands You Lemons...Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #ThisIsHowWeGrow #TIHWGsay it loud and clear: You have needs because you actually NEED these things. It’s not a question of worthiness; it’s a matter of necessity. It’s a matter of life or death, wellness or illness, joy or despair. For me, right now, I need sleep. I need space in which I can ponder, learn, and heal. I need to focus on my family; I need to let us have fun together, create memories, and recharge. Knowing my needs is the first step in getting them met. (More on How to Get Needs Met here.)

 

4) Fearlessly meet your needs. If you know what you absolutely need, then you absolutely need to get those needs met. It’s not an option to keep saying, “I don’t really need this,” or “it can wait,” or “Well, no one else seems to think I need this, so I must be wrong.” No. Trust me. We cannot afford to fail in meeting our needs. The cost is too high. My dear friend recently lost her life to depression because she was not able to acknowledge her needs and let help in.

We cannot keep putting off our needs. We must demand they be met. We must breathe, trust ourselves, then fearlessly say “No” when we must, “Yes” when we must, and keep repeating, “I need your help,” until we get our needs met. I know it’s not easy, but we mustn’t give up. (More on How to Meet Needs: 4 Tips for Asking & Receiving) (More on How to Not Let Fear Get the Better of You!

 
 
Stop…TODAY…and Reevaluate.

That’s how we get to where we want to be in life. That’s how we overcome life’s struggles, become our highest self, and flourish in joy and love. Stop today and reevaluate what you want to do with your lemons. Learn from the bitter in life, and you will one day know the sweet.

 

 

 

What makes you stop and reevaluate life? What tools help you fearlessly meet your needs? Share with us by leaving a comment, below!

 

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
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The Best Father’s Day Gift: 7 Ways to Show Dad How Much He Matters

The Best Father's Day Gift: 7 Ways to show Dad how much he Matters; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

The Best Father's Day Gift: 7 Ways to show Dad how much he Matters; www.DrChristinaHibbert.comDads Matter.

I write often about how much moms matter, and certainly we do matter—tremendously. But today, it’s dad’s turn. Dads matter, too. Tremendously.

Unfortunately, I’ve seen too many dads who don’t fully realize how important they are. They don’t realize the potential they have to influence their children and families for the better. Many feel insignificant when it comes to their role as a father or feel inadequate at parenting and raising children.

 

7 Ways to Show Dad How Much He Matters
This Father’s Day, why not give your favorite dad the best gift of all—confidence and support in his most important role. Show him how much he matters—to you, to your children, to the world. Here are 7 ideas to get you started.

 

1) Show him the research on how fathers impact children for the better. I wrote an article about this last year—In The Best Father's Day Gift: 7 Ways to Show Dad How Much He Matters; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #fathersday #fatherhood #dadPraise of Fathers: 10 Research-Based Ways Dads Impact Kids for the Better—and it still holds true. The research is clear: children need their fathers (or a loving father figure). They benefit greatly when dad is an active part of their lives. Show him this research and add your testimony of the great impact fathers have had on your life or the lives of your children.

 

2) Moms—Let Dad do things “his” way, then see the good in it. Tell him how grateful you are for what he does as a dad. Often we mothers are the biggest block to our husbands/partners feeling successful as fathers. We are the “gateway” to the children, and whether we mean to or not, we can block opportunities for him to shine in his role as “dad.” It’s taken me years to stop preventing my husband from wrestling with our kids late at night. It used to drive me crazy because they’d be all riled up before sleep, but I realized it’s more important for them to have those memories with their dad. He feels great playing with them, and I feel grateful he wants to play. Let him do things his way, then see the good and tell him what you see.

 

3) Write a heartfelt letter, and encourage his children to do the same. Dad may seem too “tough” for a love letter, but trust me, he’s not. Write about your favorite memories. Write about what you love most about him. Write how much good he does for you and how much you need him in your life. Write, “I love you.” Don’t waste a minute of life’s precious time. Make sure he knows exactly how much he matters to you—and the kids—by writing it down.

 

4) Give him opportunities to be a leader in the home. We women can sometimes take over things at home, making it frustrating for the men who really do want to be the role model and lead the family. Invite him to be in charge of an important family activity, meeting, or event. Tell him how much you admire his leadership abilities and encourage him to use them with the children. Support and encourage his efforts. Repeat daily.

 

5) Encourage him to spend quality, one-on-one time with each child, and encourage the children to do the same. Parenting is really about the relationship we develop with each child. Help Dad strengthen his relationships by encouraging one-The Best Father's Day Gift: 7 Ways to Show Dad How Much He Matters; www.DrChristinaHibbert.comon-one time. Daddy-daughter dates, father-son activities—these are pivotal in creating strong family relationships. Even if you’re an adult, spending one-on-one time with your father is a wonderful gift. Having time to get to know one another without other family members around builds bonds that last a lifetime. It shows children, and fathers, how much they really matter.

 

6) Speak his love language. How does he best receive love? Is it physical touch? Spending time? Words of affirmation? Gifts? Acts of service? Discover his love language, then use it to show him how much he matters. Have his children do the same. (More on Love Languages here.)

 

7) Commit to building him up as a father, then communicate your commitment. As a mom of six, I know how easy it can be to get caught up in just keeping up. Too often, I forget how important it is to nurture my husband’s role and relationships as a father. It is important. As my children have grown, I have seen how he compliments me and how, together as parents, we have so much more to offer our children.

 

Don’t forget the fathers in your life. Commit to supporting and strengthening them in their role as a father. Then, tell them how much you need them. Write it, say it, sing it…whatever method works best for you.

 

We need strong fathers in our families. We need strong fathers in our world. This Father’s Day, and every day, commit to giving the best gift of all—the gift of encouragement, support, and unconditional love for fathers and all they do.

 

 

How have fathers made an impact in your life? What are your suggestions for strengthening dads, showing them they matter? Leave a comment, below!

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s award-winning Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com.

    

Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

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Life: The Battle and the Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth) www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

Life: The Battle & The Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth) www.DrChristinaHibbert.comLife. It sure can be demanding. It sure can be beautiful. It’s a paradox, isn’t it? As I’ve said before, we can learn to “live in the paradox;” it’s how we grow (This is How We Grow, p. 59). It’s where I’m living now.

 

The Paradox of Life

I’m reminded of the popular theme song from one of my favorite childhood TV shows, “You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have…”—life. Life doesn’t ebb and flow in perfect crests and swells like the ocean. It comes crashing like a thunderstorm on a sunny day—and is just as beautiful. We finally overcome life’s challenges only to find another spell of trouble upon us. We experience pain as, simultaneously, miracles abound.

 

The past weeks have been such for me—the good, the bad, the ugly…and the beautiful. I’ve been out of touch online and here on my blog, because once again, life has been happening, and when life happens we need to show up and live it.

 

The Battle and The Beauty

On April 28th, my dear friend took her life as a result of severe depression. She’d left her daughter with me that day, and my family was there for every minute of her story unfolding. She was a wonderful mother and friend and person. A light in every room she entered. She was a second mother to my children. Her three children have been best friends with mine for ten years; I’ve been a “second mom” to them. Now, I really am.

 

Those who’ve read This is How We Grow, those who know my story, my family’s story, know how close to home this hits for us. It’s been extremely hard, as grief always is. Just as we were finally finding our footing in “normal” life, the heartache has returned—the pain of once more seeing my children in pain as they grieve their “second mom,” of seeing my friend’s children and husband grieve their mother and wife. The sorrow of our community at this tragedy, and how we were hit with a second tragedy just two weeks later, as a young man at our kids’ same school took his life, too.

 

Yet I have experienced the beauty. The hope of family and community as we have banded together in support and love for the friends we have lost, for their families, and for each other. The outpouring of concern and kindness and generosity, not only for the families in grief, but for my own children, for me, and for others who may be suffering.

 

May is always a tough month, as many parents will attest. Every project, activity, performance, banquet, ceremony happens in May. We call it May-hem, and it always is—this year even more so. It was beautiful, however, to sit with my husband and our friend’s husband and watch our two daughters, BFFs, emcee the school talent show. There has been beauty in going to plays and recitals and receiving hugs, in feeling so much love as a community. There has been beauty in watching us all work to move on.

 

At the same time, my second book manuscript was due to my publisher. I tried for an extension since my mind was mush, but was "This Is How We Grow" wins an IPPY Award. LIFE: The Battle & The Beauty www.DrChristinaHibbert.comlovingly told it was not possible. This was the one deadline in the contract that was set in stone. Every day for the past month, I awoke, tended to my family and my new “family” (my friend’s), then shoved the grief aside and forced my brain to focus as I wrote. I made my deadline a day early. (The Breakup Breakthrough, with New Harbinger Publications, will be released March 2015.)

 

In the midst of everything, I had the opportunity to travel to Sacramento, to give a keynote address for the California Maternal Mental Health Collaborative and speak the next day at the CA Maternal Wellness Summit. May was Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, and I was fueled by my friend’s death as well as the death of my own sister over six years ago, to speak out and encourage the work we are doing to strengthen and help mothers. No woman, mother, person should ever have to feel so desperate, so alone. We must work diligently to help one another, to care for each other, and to let help in when we need it.

 

That was the day I learned my memoir, This Is How We Grow, my very first book, had won an Independent Publisher Book Award, an IPPY. I flew to New York last week and was full of gratitude as I received the medal. (More on that here.) The day I returned from New York was the last day of school for my girls, the next day was the last day for my boys, and the next day, last Saturday, my firstborn son, Braxton, graduated from high school.

 

Now, here I am. The whirlwind of May-hem has abated. My first “baby” has graduated (I’m still emotional about that). Summer is Graduation day! Life: The Battle & The Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth) www.DrChristinaHibbert.comupon us once more (I’m always conflicted when summer begins and know I need a summer sanity plan). I’m back in counseling, once again doing the familiar work of grief and trauma, and I’m trying to continue to practice what I preach—to let myself be in the season I’m in. I need a moment to figure out just which season, or rather, seasons that would be. I haven’t had a moment yet.

 

Perhaps that’s why I’m taking this moment. Perhaps that’s why I’m writing all this out. I feel…so many things. Hopeful, and sad, and grateful, and exhausted, and loved, and alone, and full of love and loving for one and all. I am seeking peace amidst the whirlwind—and finding it in small moments like this one.

 

Living the Paradox of Personal Growth

Yes, life is a paradox. As I’ve said before, “Paradox is part of the cyclical nature of things. As we die, so are we born. As we love, so are we left. As we do, so are we undone. Sometimes these cycles feel against nature. But we can choose to let it be…Paradox is the ultimate soil for personal growth” (This is How We Grow, p. 60).

 

You know I believe in growing. That’s my hope as I fall back into the Fall and Winter seasons of growth once more—that I may continue to feel the Spring and Summer. That I may continue to embrace life, the battle and the beauty.

 

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com.

    

 
 
 
 

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Understanding & Coping with Loss & Trauma

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“This Is How We Grow” Wins an “IPPY” Award in NYC & is one of Aspire Magazine’s “Top 10 Inspirational Books!”

"This is How We Grow" wins an IPPY Award in NYC and is one of Aspire Magazine's "Top 10 Inspirational Books!" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #TIHWG #books #psychology #motherhood #mentalhealth

"This is How We Grow" wins an IPPY Award in NYC and is one of Aspire Magazine's "Top 10 Inspirational Books!" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #TIHWG #books #psychology #motherhood #mentalhealthI was pacing my hotel room in Sacramento, CA a few weeks ago, doing last-minute preparations for a presentation when, quickly checking my email, I saw a message titled, “IPPY Award Winner Interview.”

I’d already seen a few emails from the Independent Publisher’s Book Awards announcing winners in various categories, and, assuming I hadn’t won, I’d deleted the final two announcements. I almost deleted the “interview” email, too, but instead clicked on it and read the first line: “Congratulations on winning an IPPY Award!”

“What? Did I win an award?” I wondered, and went back through my junk mail until I found the official answer. “Yes!” This Is How We Grow had won an Independent Publisher’s Book Award, or an “IPPY,” for “Best Adult Nonfiction Ebook!

Two weeks later, I was off to New York City to accept the award, and what a trip! My close friend since 5th grade and one of my editors for This is How We Grow, Becky, came with me–the perfect culmination to our long hours of work together. We saw the sights for 2 1/2 days–The Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, 9/11 Memorial, Central Park, The Met, MOMA, and three broadway shows.

With my lifelong friend and editor, Becky Bagley, at the IPPYs.

With my lifelong friend and editor, Becky Bagley, at the IPPYs.

But it was the ceremony that meant the most to me. Not because I received a medal, or even because I was being recognized. No,

fun as it was to see the other winners and meet some interesting new people, that wasn’t what made this a memorable moment for

me.

What made it memorable came to me in my on-camera interview before the ceremony even began (which will be posted for you to see soon!). The interviewer asked, “What does this award mean to you?” It made me think.

“For one,” I replied, “it means my real life story–my family’s story–is being honored. It somehow validates all we’ve been through,” I said.

“Also, being my first book, it validates my writing,” I continued. “It honors the four years I spent diligently working on this project, hoping it might help others some day. This award shows me I was right, that it will.”

Three days later, This is How We Grow received another humble honor as one of Aspire Magazine’s “Top 10 Inspirational Books.”

Receiving my IPPY medal in NYC!

Receiving my IPPY medal in NYC!

Each recognition is another boost that the message of This is How We Grow is needed, that it is resonating with those who need it most.

My “Acceptance Speech…”

No, there wasn’t time for an acceptance speech at the awards, but I would be pretty ungrateful if I failed to do so now…

I am deeply grateful to all who have read and shared This is How We Grow, to all who have sent me messages of support, encouragement, and love and to those who have shared with me your own stories of hope and healing through reading my story.

I am grateful for all the book clubs who’ve discussed the book, and those who have invited me to participate in their clubs in-person or through Skype. What a joy and pleasure it has been getting to know you! Also, I am grateful for all who have reviewed the book on Amazon and Goodreads–it helps more than you know!

Finally, I thank my husband, OJ, and my beautiful children for not only allowing but for helping me GROW through our experiences and my new journey as an author. Everything I do, I do it for and because of you.

Have a copy of This is How We Grow and want an IPPY seal for it?
Just email me and, for the cost of a stamp and envelope, I can mail you one!

 

IPPY Award Winner & Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow: A Psychologists Memoir of Loss, Motherhood, & Discovering Self-Worth and Joy, One Season at a Time www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #TIHWG

Check out Amazon Bestseller & IPPY Award Winner, This is How We Grow,

now available on Amazon.com!

 

 

 

Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

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“This Is How We Grow” Charity Fundraiser: Buy a book, help a wonderful family.

My dear friend, Jody.

 

My dear friend, Jody.

My dear friend, Jody.

Help a Wonderful Family

As I shared in my recent post, “Self-Care & Letting Help In–The 2 Most Important Things,” I lost my dear friend, Jody, last week, as a result of mental illness. She left behind her husband and three children, 17, 15, and 10.

 

This is one of the best families I know, always smiling and ready to lend a hand to those in need. Jody was the same–volunteering countless hours at the kids’ schools, on basketball and baseball teams, and with her daughter at the humaine society, she had an infectious smile and a laugh that lit up the room. A full-time mother, she put her heart and soul into everything she did for her family.

 

My children, husband, and I are all devastated she is gone. The community is feeling the void of not having her there. Her husband and children are demonstrating remarkable strength and coping as well as possible. But I know the weeks and months to come will be even more difficult as they learn to navigate their world without their mother and wife.

 

 

This is How We Grow “Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month”

Charity Fundraiser

In memory of Jody, I will be donating all proceeds from sales of my book, This is How We Grow, during the month of May, "This Is How We Grow" Charity Fundraiser: Buy a book, help a wonderful family! www.DrChristinaHibbert.comMaternal Mental Health Awareness Month, to the Memorial Fund set up for her family in her honor.

 

This fund will provide her family with the financial assistance they will need to manage their home, care for the children, and to facilitate healing.

 

To purchase a book, please visit Amazon.com.

 

You may also make a direct donation, if you would like. Donations may be made by check to The McDaniel Family Fund and mailed to 2388 N. Broken Circle Rd., Flagstaff, AZ, 86004, or deposited directly to Wells Fargo Account 3055256113.

 

 

Let us Support One Another.

I don’t think it’s any accident that May happens to be Maternal Mental Health Awareness month. With Mother’s Day approaching, it’s the time of year we celebrate and remember all mothers, especially those in need. If you aren’t able to donate money, please donate time. Be there for each other through the tough times, reaching out to the mothers, fathers, and children who need you. Let us support one another. Let us encourage one another. Let us strengthen one another’s families. Let us open our hearts and love.

 

 

 

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com

**This is How We Grow Charity Fundraiser**

All proceeds from sales of This is How We Grow during the month of May 2014 will be donated to The McDaniel Family Fund, in honor of Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month and in memory of my dear friend, Jody, who lost her life last week. 

 

  

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PPD & Motherhood Mental Health: Self-Care & Letting Help In–The 2 Most Important Things (PSI Blog Hop 2014)

PPD & Motherhood Mental Health: Self-Care & Letting Help In--The 2 Most Important Things (PSI Blog Hop 2014); www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #PPD #postpartum #PSIBlog #motherhood

PPD & Motherhood Mental Health: Self-Care & Letting Help In--The 2 Most Important Things (PSI Blog Hop 2014); www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #PPD #postpartum #PSIBlog #motherhoodIt wasn’t until I first became a mother–with a beautiful baby boy I dearly loved, yet still struggling through postpartum depression–that I realized how hard it was to practice self-care and let others help me. I thought I could—and should—do it all on my own. It was my downfall, making my depression worse. I didn’t realize how much sleep deprivation messed with my emotions. I didn’t yet understand how asking for and receiving help would be one of the most important components of self-care for me. I didn’t yet know it is one of the most important components of self-care for everyone.

My fourth postpartum depression (PPD) episode was unlike the first three. So much more intense. So much more complex. My sister and brother-in-law had recently died and we had inherited our two nephews only 4 weeks to the day that our fourth baby was born. We had three kids, and then we had six.

But, I had grown over the years as a mother. I had become a clinical psychologist specializing in maternal mental health and perinatal mood disorders. I had founded The Arizona Postpartum Wellness Coalition to help other mothers and families. I had taught courses and given speeches and written articles on PPD and the Baby Blues, and I knew, 100%, how badly I needed to take care of myself and let help in.

Because this fourth postpartum experience was such a complex and challenging time, I immediately set up all my resources. I scheduled counseling sessions—for me and my husband, for our nephews, then 6 and 10, and for our two other sons, then 8 and 11. I let people do laundry for me, take my 4 year-old daughter for play dates, bring in meals, and even help me paint the nursery and prepare my home for my two new sons.

PSI Blog Hop 2014--#PPD & #Motherhood #MentalHealth Recovery: Self-Care & Letting Help In, The 2 Most Important Things; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #postpartum #PSIBlog

My children, first meeting their new little sister. 2007

After a few months though, when grief hit hard, I started to feel like I didn’t want to burden others. I didn’t want them to have to be around me because I felt so negative inside. I didn’t want to complain or whine or be crying all the time. And, if I’m being honest, I really felt like no one could understand what I was going through. How could they? It was so messy and raw and painful on so many levels. I felt weaker than ever before and isolated myself. I got quiet.

As I wrote, in my memoir, This is How We Grow, of that time, “I…know I haven’t invited anyone in. I take responsibility for that. I let myself seem ‘fine’ when I’m in public. I am ‘fine’ when I’m in public. That doesn’t mean I don’t have my hard times at home, or even that ‘fine’ is good enough. I wish others would notice the redness of my eyes, the dark circles around them, my sighing, the energy it takes to smile.” (p. 161)

Since my memoir came out last November, several close friends have said, after reading it, “I feel so badly, I never knew how much you were suffering.”

“I didn’t let people in,” I’ve replied. “There was no way you could have known.”

Luckily, I let my husband in. And I let my psychologist in. And I let my inner psychologist weigh in and remind me of the coping skills I’d already developed. Luckily, I at least did that much, and it was enough to get me out of the darkest days and into other help, like an antidepressant, friends, family, and writing my story.

 

We Mustn’t Get Quiet
But, one week ago yesterday, my dear friend lost her life as a result of mental illness. Her three children have been best friends with my children for ten years. She was their “second mom,” like I have been to her kids. It is an incomprehensible loss for her husband and children. It is a devastating loss for my children, for me, and for our entire community.

She had been trying to work on self-care, though I knew, like so many other mothers, it didn’t come naturally to her. She had been setting up and trying to utilize her support network. Outwardly, she had been doing those things that seemed right and good and helpful. But I can see now, despite all her efforts with self-care, she didn’t know how to do the one most important thing: let all that help in.

 

Self-Care is Crucial
How many other mothers, and children, and fathers, and families have to suffer, or even die, before we get it—that self-care isn’t about excess and dawdling and bon-bons on the couch watching soap operas. Self-care is a necessity. It’s about life, and health, and joy; it’s also about preventing despair, isolation, and death. At its core, self-care is about letting help in.

 

How can we help moms in need?
After a friend of mine heard of our tragic loss last week, she said to me, tears streaming down her face, “There have to be so many others out there who are suffering alone and won’t—or don’t know how—to let people in. What can we do?”

This question has been on my mind all week. What can we do? The following four things are, to me, the most important. If we can do these four things, we can stop the suffering, be there for each other, and keep our mothers safe, healthy, and strong so they can do what they do best—love and nurture their children.

 

1) Learn about and practice self-care. Learn to let help in. We must all learn how to take better care of ourselves. We must talk about, and teach, and encourage letting others help us, too. PSI Blog Hop 2014: PPD & Motherhood Mental Health Recovery--Self-Care & Letting Help In, The 2 Most Important Things; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com“In our darkest times it is easy to feel better off alone and isolate. Our suffering is personal, and no one shares it in the same way, so why even bother? But, I can tell you–we do need others, whether we feel like it or not…Making islands of ourselves only causes more pain.” (This Is How We Grow, p. 153)

This is especially important for pregnant and postpartum mothers, and for mothers going through stressful circumstances or dealing with mental health concerns. But it’s equally as important for all mothers and women—because we are the nurturers of families and communities. It’s also important that we educate our children and teens and young adults about self-care, that we model it for them so they may learn to see self-care as an essential part of a healthy life.

 

2) See others’ needs. It’s hard to see others’ needs if they don’t let you in, but one thing I know for sure is we must use our gut, not just our natural eyes. If you feel something’s not quite right, please say something or do something. Yes, it’s okay to ask a mother if she is struggling. Yes, it’s okay to tell her she seems sad and ask what you can do. We must ask and talk about it, for it sends the message that none of us is alone. It reminds us we have a friend, a hand held out in the dark. I often say, “I’d rather say something and be wrong than not say something and wish I would have.” (Read “3 Messages Every Mom Needs to Hear.”)

 

3) Offer support now. If you have the impression to send a text or post a quote on her Facebook page, do it. If you’re driving by and feel you should stop, please do. You might talk yourself out of it: “She’s busy.” “I don’t want to intrude.” But you’re not intruding, and even if she’s busy, she’ll at least know you care. As I write in This is How We Grow, “How do we connect? We listen. We hear. We respond. We feel. We reach out and ask, ‘How are you?’ and wait for the honest answer. Then, we reach out again. And again. We say, ‘I’m so sorry. My heart is breaking with you.’ We look past our discomfort, or we say it out loud, ‘I don’t know what to say or do. I just want to be here for you.’ We are willing to be in that space of our own discomfort or pain, because we know it’s not about us. It’s about loving the one we love…Strength and healing are in connection.” (p. 287)

 

4) Stick with her for the long haul. Pregnancy and postpartum depression/anxiety, and maternal mental illness, are not over in a week or a month. Neither are most of the great stresses of motherhood. Continue to ask how she’s doing. Check in regularly. Listen with your heart and not just your head. Keep doing it for as long as it takes to help her be well again.

 

Bottom line…

“We need connection to survive. As poet Mark Nepo writes, ‘The question to put to our daily lives, then, is this: In love, in friendship, in seeking to learn and grow, in trying to understand ourselves…When pressed by life, do I bridge or isolate? Do I reconnect the web of life and listen to its wisdom? Or do I make an island of every confusion as I try to solve its pain?’” (This is How We Grow, p. 153)

May we form a great, strong web–a net of connection and support, so when one of our sisters, friends, mothers, tribe falls, we may catch her. One voice. One hug. One love-filled, supportive, mom-to-mom moment at a time. Together, we are strong.

~Written in loving memory of Jody McDaniel.

My family, today. 2014

My family, today. 2014

 

Join the PSI Blog Hop Here

Read this post for guidelines, then link up, below.

(Note: Posts that do not follow the guidelines will be removed by the editors)

If you need immediate help, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

If you are looking for local pregnancy or postpartum support and resources in your area, please call or email us:

Postpartum Support International Warmline (English & Spanish)

1-800-944-4PPD (4773)

support@postpartum.net

PSI Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month Blog Hop

 

Please share your thoughts by leaving a comment, below. What have you found crucial to postpartum and maternal mental health recovery? What suggestions do you have for how we can better help moms in need? Are you willing and ready to join together and form this net of support and love?

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com.

 

 

**This is How We Grow Charity Fundraiser**

All proceeds from sales of This is How We Grow during the month of May 2014 will be donated to The McDaniel Family Fund, in honor of Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month and in memory of my dear friend, Jody, who lost her life last week.

Read the fundraiser post here.

 

Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

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Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

You may manage your subscription options from your profile.

PPD & Motherhood Mental Health: Self-Care & Letting Help In--The 2 Most Important Things (PSI Blog Hop 2014); www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #PPD #postpartum #PSIBlog #motherhood

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“Like” my Facebook pages (Dr. Christina HibbertThis Is How We Grow) and follow me on Twitter,Pinterest, & Instagram!

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Link Up! PSI Blog Hop 2104 Invitation: Maternal Mental Health Recovery & Coping

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Link Up! PSI 2014 Blog Hop–Perinatal Mood Disorders: Maternal Mental Health Recovery & Coping

PSI 2014 Blog Hop: Maternal Mental Health Recovery and Coping; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #PPD #postpartum #pregnancy

PSI 2014 Blog Hop: Maternal Mental Health Recovery and Coping; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #PPD #postpartum #pregnancyI have been a member of/volunteer with Postpartum Support International (PSI) since 1999. Over the years, I’ve served as a warmline volunteer, an AZ state support coordinator, and even as the PR Chair on the PSI Board of Directors. I can definitely vouch for the incredible work this fine organization does: from their toll-free, bilingual support line, to their many resources for pregnant/postpartum moms, dads, and families, to their fabulous annual conferences which educate mental and medical health providers.

Last year, I was privileged to participate in the 1st PSI Blog Hop, and this year, I am thrilled to be part of it again. The Blog Hop will run throughout he entire month of May–Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month–and you can link up below. It’s a great way to share pregnancy/postpartum emotional health stories and resources, provide support and encouragement, and raise awareness of Perinatal Mood/Anxiety Disorders. I hope you’ll consider joining us! (See the invitation below for details and rules.)

 

An Invitation to YOU!

Join us for

Postpartum Support International’s 2014

Second Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month Blog Hop!

2014 Theme:

Perinatal Mood Disorders: What Helped Me Recover: Self, Family & Community Resources

 

PSI Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month Blog Hop


 

In May 2011 Postpartum Support International (PSI), declared May as Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month. An increasing number of states and counties have designated May as a time to bring awareness to maternal mental health. This year, we are launching our second maternal mental health awareness month blog hop.

Our PSI blog hop is inclusive but also respectful of emotional safety and comfort and hope for all contributors and readers. To that end, we welcome your participation but also please keep in mind some editorial guidelines meant to promote comfort and safety ~~~

Editorial Guidelines:

  • Name: Include your real name, we don’t promote people with online disguises. Anonymity can be arranged.
  • Length: 500 – 1000 words
  • Keep in this year’s theme: Perinatal Mood Disorders: What Helped Me Recover: Self, Family & Community Resources
  • Much appreciated are personal stories about the resources you used to support you in your recovery: your inner strength and resiliency efforts,  family & friends who helped, and community resources you found along your healing path.

Potentially Triggering:

For the purpose of this blog hop and its focus on messages of recovery and hope, we want you to do your best to avoid common triggers in your posts. If you have any questions or concerns about that, please contact us at psioffice@postpartum.net and we can talk about your concerns.

Please do not write about detailed suicidal or homicidal thoughts and feelings.

Inclusive:

Editors will not tolerate any negativity directed towards individuals or groups

Commercial Interests:

Please refrain from self-promotion of your website or sale items

 Please post these notices:

  • If you need immediate help, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
  •  If you are looking for local pregnancy or postpartum support and resources in your area, please call or email us:

Postpartum Support International Warmline (English & Spanish)

1-800-944-4PPD (4773)

support@postpartum.net

How to participate:

1. Beginning May 1, 2014 running the whole month of May!

2. Write your blog post and send a link or attachment to psioffice@postpartum.net so we can read it and list it on our site. This will help us keep track of all of the posts, and contact you if we have questions or suggestions.

3. Go to one of the following Blog Hop Blog Hosts:

Birthtouch.com  Link Up Page Here

Dr. Christina Hibbert   http://www.drchristinahibbert.com/ (see Linky, below)

4. Look for their post called:  Link Up: PSI 2014 Blog Hop – Perinatal Mood Disorders: Maternal Mental Health Recovery & Coping

5. Link up your post to that blog post in the Linky provided at the bottom of the post

6. Grab the badge! Please copy the PSI Blog Hop Badge either from the side bar or from this post!

7. Feel free to promote your blog and the blog hop on social media!

Social Media Links:

Link up Here

 

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com!

PSI 2014 Blog Hop: Maternal Mental Health Recovery and Coping; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #PPD #postpartum #pregnancy

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Related Articles/Posts:

16 Things I’d Like My Postpartum Self to Know, 16 Years & 6 Kids Later (PSI Blog Hop)

Moving Beyond Shame: The Ultimate Power of Support & Time (PSI Blog Hop) 

Beyond Depression: Understanding Pregnancy/Postpartum OCD (Part 1)

Pregnancy & Postpartum Emotional Health

Postpartum Depression Treatment

Postpartum Depression Treatment: For Dads & Partners

Postpartum Depression Treatment: For Couples

Postpartum Depression Treatment: Sleep

Postpartum Depression & Men: The Facts on Paternal Postnatal Depression

Mom Mental Health (& Happiness): The Importance of Alone Time

The Baby Blues & You

Postpartum Survival Mode

Pregnancy & Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders: Are Women of Advanced Maternal Age at Higher Risk?

In Praise of Fathers: 10 Research-Based Ways Dads Impact Kids for the Better

5 Reasons Self-Esteem is a Myth

Womens’ Emotions & Hormones– Series

Achieving Balance–Why You’ve Got it Wrong, & How to Get it Right

Pregnancy & Postpartum Loss, Grief, & Family Healing (Part 1)

How to Cope with and Treat Perinatal Loss & Grief (Part 2)

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