Becoming the Butterfly: The Power of Personal Transformation

Becoming the Butterfly-The Power of Personal Transformation; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

Becoming the Butterfly-The Power of Personal Transformation; www.DrChristinaHibbert.comI’ve been thinking a lot lately about the power of personal transformation. It started with Easter, which, no matter your faith or belief system, is really a holiday about our potential for transformation. I know and love that we have the potential for incredible transformation.

 

Throughout my life, I have been transformed. Often, transformation has come through hardships. Despite my attempts to ignore, push away, or run away from these “growing opportunities,” I’ve eventually learned to take a deep breath, submit, and let myself grow and transform. Sometimes, transformation has come by choice—inviting an opportunity to learn, improve, grow. No matter the means, the outcome is the same: I know the power of personal transformation; I have experienced it time and again.

 

That’s the beauty of life—we’re not meant to stay the same. It’s obvious as we watch our children learn and grow, so why can it feel so hard to believe that we, as adults, must continue to grow, too? Why can it feel so impossible to believe we can not only grow, but we can be transformed?

 

Becoming the Butterfly

I think of the caterpillar, crawling about her business, content to roam the earth on her belly, until one day, she feels the call—the call to start building something, the call to transform. Does she know what she is building or what she is destined to become? Or does she simply listen to the whispers and follow her heart until she is tightly wrapped in her chrysalis? Does she realize, as she lets herself be wrapped and canstockphoto4610098molded that she is sprouting wings to fly? Does she see her own beauty, as she finally breaks free? Do we?

 

Yes, I have been transformed, and I believe it is a divine call for each of us—to allow this transformation to take place. To courageously step up and say, “I’m ready to become who and what I am meant to be.” It’s not about becoming rich or famous or popular. No. It’s about becoming more and more authentic, loving, whole, and complete. It’s about living with meaning and purpose and fulfilling your unique life’s purpose. “I believe in being complete…Living authentically—listening to the whispers and doing what’s right, being true to who I really am—helps me appreciate the good and the bad, for I see them as opportunities to grow. The more I grow, the more perfected I become: she who has ‘attained her purpose;’ feeling ‘so good nothing of the kind could be better;’ ‘complete.’” This is How We Grow, p. 271.

 

Personal Transformation

I remember so many days—when I was overwhelmed by the reality of raising six children, when I was sleep-deprived from nursing a baby all night and nursing five other kids, and myself, through loss and growth all day—I remember how I thought I was experiencing my final transformation. We are transformed when we leave home, we are transformed when we marry, and we are most definitely transformed when we become a parent. But now I was a mother, six times over! “I’m needed here full-time,” I reminded myself. “This is the most important work I can do, and I am determined to succeed.” And it was, and I believe I have succeeded. But, mistakenly, I believed that meant I wasn’t needed anywhere else, that there wasn’t any other important work for me to do in my life. I thought I’d never fulfill my dreams—of becoming a writer, an author, a speaker, a songwriter.

 

Fast forward, and here I am. I was transformed into a confident mother of six, and then into an author, a few times over, and a speaker, and a songwriter. As the time has been right, new transformations have taken place. That’s the great thing about personal transformation—it never ends, if we allow it to continue to unfold. Unlike the butterfly, we can rebuild and reenter our cocoons of transformation and become beautiful new creatures, over and over.

 

It requires faith, and listening to those whispers. And it requires the desire to transform. Lately, I’ve been seeking to understand what my new dream should be; I’ve been praying and listening. And the most unusual opportunity came along in an unassuming email—the opportunity to host a parenting radio show. At first, I didn’t know that it was right for me. I had no desire or dream to be on the radio. But, I’ve come to see that this was the answer to my prayers—my new transformation, my new opportunity to grow, and my new opportunity to help many others grow and transform, too.

 

 

As I wrote in This is How We Grow, quoting and commenting on Marianne Williamson, “And what is the light we see, when our minds are reconciled to Truth? We see not only that we are one with others, but also that all of us carry seeds of the divine.’ I love helping others find their divine, for that is how I find mine.” (p. 395) I welcome this newest transformation, and I hope you will join me in the months to come as we seek to transform and grow, together.

 

 

The Steps of Personal Transformation

How do you find your divine? How can you give yourself over to the power of personal transformation? How can you become the butterfly you are destined to be? I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I do have a few—at least, this is a good place to start:

  • Recognize what and where you already are. If we want to become something new, we first need to know who and what we already are. Take time to search within and see the truth of who you are, and the truth of who you desire to be. Be honest with yourself about your current weaknesses, and strengths, and what might be blocking you from getting where you want to be.

 

  • Discover your life’s vision. Envision who you want to be, and what you desire to become. Let go Becoming the Butterfly-The Powerf of Personal Transformation www.DrChristinaHibbert.comof the tethers holding you down—the expectations, words of others, false beliefs, and especially fears. Let go and dream. (Read “Discovering Your Life’s Vision” and “Overcoming Fear”)

 

  • Build and enter your chrysalis. Butterflies don’t just magically pop out of caterpillars. It takes work to build the cocoon of transformation, and time to enter and remain until the butterfly is ready to emerge. Take your time setting goals, understanding the process of change, and working on the change you desire. Work on your talents. Practice. Seek new learning opportunities, and share what you have to offer in small doses. Let yourself be in the “season” of life you’re in. Give yourself space to prepare.

 

  • Don’t overstay your welcome in the chrysalis. We’re not meant to stay in the cocoon of transformation forever. Have faith. Believe in yourself. If you lack self-confidence, then work on it. Believe you are the butterfly as you prepare to emerge. (Read “The Pyramid of Self-Worth” and my new book, Who Am I Without You? –it’s all about transformation and self-confidence!)

 

  • Emerge and be the butterfly. Believe in your beauty. Believe in your wings. Emerge, and let yourself fly.

 

What is your experience with personal transformation? Do you believe we each have “the divine” within? How can we allow ourselves to be transformed? Please leave a comment, below!

 

 

 

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s IPPY Award-winning Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow!
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 “Who Am I Without You is the light at the end of the tunnel!”

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Loss, Love & A NEW Way to do Valentine’s Day: 10 Ways to GROW in Love

Loss, Love, & a NEW Way to do #ValentinesDay: 10 Ways to GROW in #Love; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

Loss, Love, & a NEW Way to do #ValentinesDay: 10 Ways to GROW in #Love; www.DrChristinaHibbert.comAs I write, it’s a few days before Valentine’s Day. The world seems to be covered in pink and red, candy hearts, and flowers; it’s beautiful. I, however, am thinking of those who don’t have a Valentine this year.

 

Love, Loss, & Valentine’s Day

Perhaps it’s because I’m about to release my new book on self-esteem after a breakup or divorce. Perhaps it’s because I’m thinking of my dear friend who died last April and of her husband, facing this Valentine’s Day alone for the first time. Perhaps, it’s because I know all too well that most love stories have sudden drops and falls, and I know there are so many who are feeling this now.

 

I can’t help but think of my parents, who always send us Valentine’s cards and who are missing their two departed daughters, and son-in-law, again this year. I think of my grandmothers, who have been living without their beloved husbands for years, or my mother-in-law, a widow of almost six years. I think of my own losses. And, I remember how much I have loved, and been loved.

 

Those who have lost a loved one—a parent, a child, a partner, a spouse, a friend—know what I mean. These simple holidays can bring up a great deal of pain, or at least, a great deal of memories.

 

 

A NEW Way to do Valentine’s Day: GROW in Love

Valentine’s Day can put such pressure on us to be in love and to show it through gifts and grand romantic gestures. But what if, instead, Valentine’s Day could serve as a beautiful, vivid reminder that we have loved, and that we may continue to love? What if it could serve as a tribute to our loss and continued love? What if this Valentine’s Day could be our opportunity to grow in love?

 

Growing in love means choosing to open our hearts, to receive love when it comes, and to give love freely. It means choosing to become more full of love for everyone we meet, and especially for those who need it most. As we grow in love, we become more at peace, full of joy, and the best part? We feel loved in return. Isn’t life really about growing in love, rather than falling in love, anyway? Falling may be an important start, but growing in love is deeper, more lasting, and crucial to healing and personal growth.

 

 

10 Ways to Grow in Love: On Valentine’s Day, and Every Day

Here are 10 ways to get you started growing in love. Pick one, or two, or all, and give them a try. By discovering a new way to do Valentine’s Day you just might discover something of great value: hope, healing, self-worth, and yes, greater love.

 

  • Practice opening your heart. This is a simple, important way to start. If our heart isn’t open, it’s hard to grow in love. Try this: Sit in a quiet place and breathe deeply. Focus on your heart as you continue to breathe. Does it feel open, relaxed, and ready to give and receive love? Or, does it feel closed and guarded? Just notice it, but don’t judge, as you breathe. Think of someone you love dearly. Picture them vividly in your mind. What do you love about them? How do they make you feel? Purposefully open your heart to that love. Continue to breathe as you focus on feeling greater love for them and keeping your heart open. Practice opening your heart for five minutes, and then, continue to open your heart throughout the day. When you feel your heart closing, take a deep breath and open again. It may be difficult at first, but if you practice each day, you will become more open to the gift of love.

 

  • Practice self-love. It’s true we cannot give what we do not possess. If we don’t love ourselves, it’s
    Give yourself a little love, or help someone else get a loving break.

    Give yourself a little love, or help someone else get a loving break.

    very hard to love others and grow in love. Start practicing self-love. Do something kind for yourself today. Nothing too fancy or extravagant, but something that helps you feel self-love. It could be a hot bath, a walk with a friend, a trip to the mall, a movie night, or anything you need. Whatever you’d do to show someone else kindness, do that for yourself today. (More on how to practice self-love here.)

 

  • Serve. It doesn’t matter whom. It doesn’t matter how. Service is healing to the grieving heart, and to us all. Listen to a friend in need, volunteer at a food bank, or visit someone who’s in the hospital. Just serve. In your own way. Your heart will soar in love as a result.

 

  • Do an anonymous act of kindness today. Pay for someone else’s meal, pick up trash in someone’s yard, drop cookies on someone’s doorstep. Look for opportunities to do an act of kindness, and take it.

 

  • Send a card or note to someone who’s lost love recently—on Valentine’s Day, or on any day. Let them know you’re thinking of them and that you remember their loved one, too. When my youngest sister, Miki, died at age 8, her best friend continued to bring my mom flowers every year on Miki’s birthday. We will never forget that act of love. Gestures such as this can mean the world to the grieving, and healing, heart. (More on Helping Others Through Grief & Loss, here)

 

  • Offer to watch someone’s children while they go for an evening out. Help a mother, father, or couple to get time together or an evening out with friends, to give them a break from the job of parenting and refresh them.

 

  • Call a friend or family member you haven’t spoken to in a while. Tell them, “I was just thinking about you and want to hear all about your life.” It’s not only giving love, it’s helping you receive greater friendship and love in return.

 

  • Give a big smile and say “Hello!” to strangers. You never know who needs that smile and acknowledgement. You could make someone’s day or even be a turning point in their life. And, when you put love out, you get so much more in return.

 

  • Receive love. When someone offers you a compliment, a kind word, a loving gesture—say, “Thank you,” and mean it. Don’t push love away. Breathe, and let it in. It will fill and grow you, and you’ll have so much more love to give.

 

  • Hug as many people as you can. I am a hugger. I know the power of a love-filled hug. You’d be surprised how many people are craving for that little bit of love through a hug. Especially those who’ve lost a spouse or partner; give them a hug. Don’t worry about what they will think. If you’re doing it out of genuine love, it will always be well-received. Hug as often as others let you; it will heal you both and help you grow in love.

 

 

What are your thoughts on this new way to do Valentine’s Day? What suggestions do you have to help you, and others, grow in love? Leave a comment, below!

 

 

"Who Am I Without You?" 52 Ways to Rebuild Self-Esteem After a Breakup; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #book #selfesteem #breakup #divorce

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10 Ways I Choose to Grow Each Day 

Personal Growth & Self-Actualization: What Will Your Choice Be?

About Dr. Christina Hibbert
Clinical Psychologist, Mom of 6, Postpartum Couples DVD Producer, Non-Profit Founder, and expert on Parenting, Women’s Emotions, Pregnancy & Postpartum, and Grief & Loss, Dr. Christina Hibbert loves songwriting, learning, and teaching what she learns. She really hopes you’ll join the Personal Growth Group and choose to grow together!

Comments

  1. Thank you, Christi, for this wonderful meditation! I just did it after a long and stressful day, and it completely relaxed me and renewed my spirit! You are a wonderful guide. Thank you for all you share. I learn and grow so much with you! Keep the meditations coming!!

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“This is How We Grow” 30-Day Personal Growth Plan–My New Year’s Gift to You!

"This is How We Grow" FREE 30-Day Personal Growth Plan! www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #personalgrowth #goals

"This is How We Grow" FREE 30-Day Personal Growth Plan! www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #personalgrowth #goalsAs I write this, it’s the first Monday of the new year, and we all know the first Monday of the new year is the busiest day for personal growth. We turn our thoughts to letting go of the past and creating our vision for the future—or, at least, we try to.

 

We set goals, make resolutions, develop themes, and put our good intentions to work. At least, for a while. Research shows that by the end of January each year, approximately 64% of people are still working on their resolutions, wheras six months later, only 44% are sticking with it.[1]

 

However, we mustn’t give up hope, for research also shows that those who resolve to make positive change in their lives, whether they reach their goals right away or not, are ultimately more successful than those who fail to even try.

 

Why is it so hard to change?

Why is it so hard to achieve personal growth? I have a few ideas…

 

1) We don’t know how to change. We may know we want x, y, or z; we may really want to improve this, or overcome that. But, we don’t know how.

 

2) Change is hard, by nature. It’s part of the process of growth and change to struggle and fail, and to have to go back to the drawing board and try again. Understanding and even expecting this “spiral of change” is the key to true growth.

 

3) We focus too much on our own version of what “successful” change should look like, failing to see how much we’ve actually grown in the process. We think if we don’t stick to our goal, or if we mess up, we’ve failed, so we quit. We give up too soon, not realizing that “success” is really about growing, not about achieving some idealized goal.

 

4) We don’t have the support we need to stick with it. We need motivation, dedication, inspiration to make lasting change! When we are trying to change on our own, we may feel these things for a while, but long-term it definitely helps to have some encouragement, advice, and assistance from others.

 

So, what are we to do?

 

I am thrilled to introduce my This is How We Grow 30-Day Personal Growth Plan!

Register Now!

Based on my bestselling, IPPY Award-winning memoir, This is How We Grow, this 30-Day Personal Growth Plan is designed to show you how to make lasting change, to teach you the skills and tools you need to grow to where you want to be. This plan draws from the lessons, insights, and practical tools and skills I’ve utilized in my own life and with my clients to help you overcome, become, and flourish!

 

Make Lasting Change & GROW!

Whatever your current goals, whatever your current challenges, this plan will be a valuable guide you will want to draw from for years to come. I know, because I’m working the plan along with you! In fact, I’ve created this plan at the suggestion of one of the judges from the book award I received, who said, “You should create a study guide to help people apply the lessons you teach in your book.” That’s exactly what I’ve done, and I hope it will benefit you as much as it has benefitted me.

 

Receive Daily Lessons, Tools, & Inspiration!"This is How We Grow" FREE 30-Day Personal Growth Plan! www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

By registering, you will immediately receive the 30-day Personal Growth Plan Guide, an 8-page eBook complete with the themes for the next 30 days and an inspirational quote for each theme, to pique your interest and keep you motivated!

 

Bonus!

As a bonus, you will also receive a short email lesson from me each day, for the next 30-days, with questions and exercises to teach, encourage, and inspire you in your personal growth journey! Additionally, you will receive videos, worksheets, and other tools and exercises to ensure you not only learn but apply the skills you need to make the positive change you desire.

 

Customized Just for YOU!

 

This plan is designed to complement your unique personal growth goals, to custom fit your needs, desires, and life vision. It is here to motivate you to keep going when the going gets tough, reminding you that each day, you can “Choose to grow.”

 

Don’t miss your chance to GROW!

Register for my This is How We Grow 30-Day Growth Plan here! 

Also, be sure to subscribe, below, (if you haven’t already) so you can keep up to date on other exciting opportunities!

 

Join and stick with me as I teach, motivate, counsel, and inspire you along your personal growth path. It’s far cheaper than therapy! And hopefully, just about as helpful. Join me for your best year yet–a year of overcoming, a year of becoming, a year of flourishing–a year of growth!

 

Register Here! 

 

And if you want more personal growth lessons and support, then join my…
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**Disclaimer: The This is How We Grow Personal Growth Group and 30-Day Personal Growth Plan are purely educational. It does not replace the need for professional mental health care, including psychotherapy.**

 

 

 

 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

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#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com!

 

 

 

 

"This is How We Grow" FREE 30-Day Personal Growth Plan! www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #personalgrowth #goals

 

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Related Posts/Articles:

“This is How We Grow:” Understanding the Seasons of Personal Growth

Join my Free, Online “This Is How We Grow” Personal Growth Group!

This Is How We Grow wins an IPPY Award in NYC & is one of Aspire Magazine’s “Top 10 Inspirational Books!”

Personal Growth & Family Vacation?: 10 Things I Learned in an RV with my Family of 8 for 8 Days

PPD & Motherhood Mental Health: Self-Care & Letting Help In–The 2 Most Important Things

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“These are my Strengths!” and “This is my Lame-O List!”: How to Embrace Strengths & Weaknesses

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40 Physical & Mental Health Benefits of Exercise!

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When Life Hands You Lemons, Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs

 

 

Resources:

[1] Prochaska, J., Norcross, J, and Diclemente, C. (2007). Changing for Good: A revolutionary six-stage program for overcoming bad habits and moving your life positively forward. William Morrow Publishing.

Confession: “I was Addicted to Busyness & Didn’t Even Know It”

Confession: "I was addicted to busyness & didn't even know it." www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #blog

Confession: "I was addicted to busyness & didn't even know it." www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #blogI’m no stranger to busyness. I came by it honestly. Since graduate school–with two young kids (5 months & 3 years), my husband in dental school, and caring for my younger sister who lived with us–life has been incredibly busy. I became pregnant with our 3rd baby during our fourth year, in addition to internships, dissertation, and part-time work so we could keep our family financially afloat.

My husband graduated and started work as a dentist–in another state–three months before I graduated. Each week, he would commute from LA, where the kids and I stayed so I could finish my internship and classwork and they could finish school, to Phoenix, and back. Finally, I graduated, 8-months pregnant, on a Sunday. I gave birth the following Sunday, and we moved back to Phoenix the following Friday.

Like I said, life was naturally incredibly busy.

 

 

How “Life” can Sweep You Into Busyness

After we graduated, I stayed home full-time, in a new city, with a newborn, 4 and 6 year-old, while my husband started full-time work as a dentist. I used to say I “did nothing” during this time, but that’s not true. I may not have been in school or working outside the home, but I was a full-time mom of 3, and motherhood is busy by nature. Add to that my third battle with Postpartum Depression & Anxiety, and it was a lot. Looking back, I think I was also so used to the pace of graduate school that I unknowingly kept it up, filling our days with activities, play dates, church responsibilities, breastfeeding (of course), hosting parties, and making delicious meals. I was trying to do it

With the fam, zip lining in Mexico, last spring break. Just being a parent can push us into busyness addiction if we're not careful! (This is "good" busy, though--making memories!)

With the fam, zip lining in Mexico, last spring break. Just being a parent can push us into busyness addiction if we’re not careful! (This is “good” busy, though–making memories!)

all, and it was taking its toll.

Little sleep, very long days, and then, one year later, we moved again, and I started working toward licensure as a clinical psychologist. Soon after, I signed a contract in a group practice. My employers kept increasing my hours until I was forced to see 28 clients a week, on top of caring for 3 kids, a new home, major struggles in my family of origin, and a husband recently diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and starting his own dental practice. It was way too much.

I thought I was going to slow down when I finally quit my job to stay home after having my fourth and final baby. But, as many of you know, things only intensified as my sister and brother-in-law died weeks before and I suddenly became the mother of six children.

 

 

When “Busyness” is Survival

During this time of my life, busyness became survival. If I didn’t keep moving, I couldn’t keep up. Soon, months had flown by. I got used to this new level of busyness—even worse than graduate school–a constant stream of needs, responsibilities, and energy that demanded my attention, 24/7. Also, busyness helped me avoid the intense grief and pain from the loss of my sister & brother-in-law since I didn’t yet have time to fully process and mend.

Sometimes, we have to stay busy to survive, and that’s okay.

A little over a year later, I felt the call to start a very part-time private practice. I was cautious and worried about

This is me, on our family vacation last year, finishing my second book proposal, due that day, while my 10 year-old daughter drove the boat (in my husband's lap) back to the dock so I could email it out! Talk about too busy.

This is me, on our family vacation last year, finishing my second book proposal, due that day, while my 10 year-old daughter drove the boat (in my husband’s lap) back to the dock so I could email it out! Talk about too busy.

overdoing it since life still hadn’t slowed down much, but I also believe in service and helping others. I couldn’t explain it; it simply felt like the right thing to do. It made life busier, but also richer; I finally felt like that part of me I thought had died was alive again.

And then, I started writing. First, just 10 minutes at night, after my kids went to sleep; writing was therapy. Soon, it

was 5, then 10, then 20 hours a week as I decided to write our story into a book. Whenever I wasn’t taking care of kids, I was writing—and then publishing, which included starting a website/blog, building a platform through social media, and an intense editing schedule, all of which I did when my kids were at school, asleep, or when I could wrangle up some help to watch them (my husband was great!).

 

 

The Highs & Lows of “Busyness”
I loved and despised it. I cherished the meaning, challenge, and purpose of what I was doing, but loathed how it sucked every moment from me, how I felt like I could never rest or relax, how I was always just “keeping up.”

Soon, I was releasing my first book while also writing my second for a new publisher. Add to that parenting challenges, book marketing, and plain old life stress, and I was on the verge of a complete meltdown.

 

 

What Opened My Eyes & Led to Busyness Detox
It wasn’t until my friend took her life, at the end of April, that it really hit me, that I truly got it. The harshest kind of lesson.

“This has to stop!” I told myself. “I can’t afford to keep burning out anymore. My family can’t afford it. They need aConfession: "I was addicted to busyness & didn't even know it." www.DrChristinaHibbert.com healthy, flourishing mother. I need it, too.”

I quit everything. Initially, it was so I could grieve and focus on healing, for my family and for me, and it was a relief. So many people always need me, and it felt unbearably overwhelming at that time. Letting it all go was like finally breathing when I hadn’t even realized I’d been drowning.

A month in, however, the understimulation took its toll. Boredom arrived. It’s my usual pattern: Overdo it, burnout, completely stop everything to recoup, love it for a while, start feeling restless, bored, depressed, look for a new “project” to fight the boredom. Add things until the restlessness vanishes. Repeat.

I was tempted to add something: “Maybe I should pitch a new book idea, or become a college professor.”

Luckily, I was in therapy (again), and my psychologist gave me some excellent advice: “You’ve just been through another major trauma, one that has triggered your many previous traumas and losses,” he said. “You’re finally feeling some relief from the intense grief you’ve been feeling. You have six kids who are still trying to heal from this, too, not to mention just keeping up with the usual demands of a large family. You have a loving husband who wants to spend time with you. You have a home to care for. You’re helping people at your practice one morning a week, at your church in your calling, and you help your friends, family, and people online. You’ve published your first book, you just finished your second, and are about to start your third,” he reminded me. Then, the kicker. “Isn’t that enough?”

It clicked.

“Yes,” I said. “Yes, it is definitely enough.”

Enough of the “busyness!” I needed to let the restlessness ride. I made the choice then and there that I would not add a single thing. Instead, I would focus the rest of that month and the rest of the summer solely on making memories with my family, on reading, relaxing, catching up on sleep, and healing. I would focus on those things that truly mattered.

It was more than enough.

 

 

The Truth about My Relationship with Busyness

It’s embarrassing to admit all this; I thought I was just busy because that was what life had thrown me. I didn’t see

how much I’d added to the busyness, nor how addicted to that pace I had become. This summer was my first step inConfession: "I was addicted to busyness & didn't even know it." www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #blog #motherhood #mh seeing how much I’ve used busyness as my identity over the years, how much I’ve relied upon it to give my life some sense of meaning, to give me a sense of purpose and value.

I’ve long known, intellectually, that busyness does not equal value or “who I am;” it’s not a badge of honor or proof of status, superiority, or worthiness. I’ve known this. I’ve taught it. I’ve said many times over the years, “I don’t want to be busy,” and I meant it! I wanted space in my life so I could be available to serve, to love, to live, to be. I told myself it was just life that was forcing me to be busy, that it wasn’t my choice. But I was wrong. Yes, sometimes it was life, but sometimes, it was me.

It wasn’t until just a couple of weeks ago, three months after my decision to let myself stick with the restlessness and boredom, that I could really see the truth: I was in busyness detox. Just like coming off a drug, I had to let myself go through the uncomfortable feelings of boredom, anxiety, frustration, of feeling like nothing was interesting, like I wasn’t doing enough, in order to get to the other side and see the truth.

 

 

What I Know Now

Now, on the other side, I feel free. Yes, my life is still full. With six kids and a job like mine, it’s always going to be,

Life after busyness. Ahhh...

Life after busyness. Ahhh…

and I am grateful for it. I like full. Full is beautiful.

But I’m not busy. Sure, I have busy moments, but I am proceeding very carefully. I am careful about what I allow into my life now. I pray and ponder about every opportunity that comes my way to see if it’s something that fits with the life I want, and need, to live at this time of my life.

I allow myself much more down time now, too. I need it to feel healthy and happy, to be the person I truly want to be. I can watch TV or nap or read. I can go on vacation. I can go out with my husband and not feel guilty. I feel greater peace and greater joy. I am finally truly living.

Busyness of the sake of being busy, I’ve learned, is the opposite of living. It’s a slow death. It’s a distraction from what matters most. It prevents the best in life by settling for the “good” or even the “ok.” It’s the opposite of flourishing.

I choose flourishing. What will your choice be?

 

 

 

 What are your thoughts on busyness? Could you relate to any part of my story? How do you know when you are “too busy,” and what do you do to detox and overcome? I love hearing from you, so please leave a comment, below!
 And, if you can relate, then…

Part 2–Addicted to Busyness? What It Means & 6 Steps to Overcome

 

 

 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

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#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
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Confession: "I was addicted to busyness & didn't even know it." www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #blog
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Personal Growth Tools: How to Create your Life’s Vision

Personal Growth Tools: "How to Create your Life's Vision" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #ThisIsHowWeGrow #PersonalGrowth #Group

Personal Growth Tools: "How to Create your Life's Vision" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #ThisIsHowWeGrow #PersonalGrowth #Group

“The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.”

~Helen Keller

 
When you look at your future, what do you see? Do you see yourself growing and becoming the person you’ve always desired to be? Or are you clinging so tightly to negative thoughts, worries, and fears that you’ve clouded your vision? Have you even given it much thought before?

 

Creating a life vision is the first step in realizing that vision. It’s the first step in knowing what you’re aiming for, in recognizing your potential. It’s one thing to think, “My future has great potential;” it’s another to actually see it, strive for it, and eventually, realize that potential. Creating your life’s vision is the place to start.

 

 

Live with vision.

It’s pretty hard to live the life you wish you had if you don’t have a vision of what that life would be. Sure, you may stumble upon happiness, wealth, success, and healthy relationships, but, in the vast majority of cases, these things don’t just “happen.” Personal Growth Tools: "How to Create Your Life's Vision"; www.DrChristinaHibbert.comThey take a whole lot of work.

 

Living without vision means waiting around for good things to hopefully happen to you. It means taking your chances with whatever comes your way and hoping you end up where you want to be, hoping you end up becoming the person you always wished you’d become.

 

Living with vision, on the other hand, implies living with direction, purpose, and thus greater meaning in each day. It means knowing who you’re striving to become and working to get there.

 

 

What is “vision?”

Vision is a key element of personal growth. Living with vision means creating a clear image of what you desire out of life, then remembering and working toward that image.

 

Having a vision includes seeing the best possible outcomes for work, family, relationships, personal development, faith, and anything else that matters to you. As we work on creating a life’s vision, we force ourselves to imagine the future. We begin to practice seeing who and what we hope to become. In seeing our hoped-for future, we are better prepared to set goals and take the necessary measures to get us there. We are also better prepared to correct the habits that may be leading us off-course.

 

 

How to create your life’s vision.

Your vision may involve a meaningful phrase, quote, or words to inspire you, or it may simply be closing your eyes and seeing those clear images you’ve imagined, over and again. I have found the following steps particularly helpful in creating a life vision. I hope they inspire you, too.

 

1)    Set aside some quiet time and space to work on creating your life’s vision. When you’re ready, relax, breathe, close your Personal Growth Tools: "How to Create Your Life's Vision" www.DrChristinaHibbert.comeyes. Begin to let yourself imagine your best possible future. What do you envision for yourself, your family, friends, work, future, and for your own growth and development? What traits would you most like to possess? Who would you like to be?  Write it all down.

 

2)   Add to your list of what you envisioned. Write down all the things that are most important to you. What values, characteristics, and experiences matter most? Create a list as long as you’d like, and continue adding to it as more things come. (When I first did this, I had an entire page covered in words describing what matters most to me.)

 

3) When you’re ready, revisit your lists. Group like things together—for instance “compassion,” “kindness,” and “giving,” could all be grouped under “love.” Group together as many traits/items as possible, making sure each group has one word/phrase as its title.

 

4) Circle those words/phrases from your grouped list that feel most important to you. Circle as many as you’d like.

 

5) From the grouped list with circled items, choose three words/phrases that feel most important to you at this time. Write them down. For example, my three words are “Faith, Love, Joy.” These words encompass many other important aspects of my life, including family, contribution, spirituality, and yes, growth. These three words express my life’s vision. A simple, effective way to remind me of the meaning, purpose, and direction I desire my life to take each day. This exercise can give you the vision you are seeking, too.

 

 

Bottom line…

1)    Envision the life you desire. Don’t hold back. You need a vision in order to achieve it.

2)    Then, remember your vision and work toward it each day. It really is that simple.

 

 

*Bonus ToolDream yourself to sleep

Instead of thinking of all your worries and stress as you drift off each night, imagine the best possible future for your loved ones and you. See it clearly in your mind. “Dreaming to sleep” not only helps you sleep more peacefully; it helps you wake ready to work, to see your vision come to reality.

 

 

 

~This post was adapted from Dr. Hibbert’s new book with New Harbinger Publications,

Who Am I Without You?: 52 Ways to Rebuild Self-Esteem After a Breakup.

To be released March 2015 & available for pre-order on Amazon.com!

  

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com!

 

 

 

 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

You may manage your subscription options from your profile.

 

 

 

Personal Growth Tools: "How to Create your Life's Vision" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #ThisIsHowWeGrow #PersonalGrowth #Group
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Related Posts/Articles:

Living a Life of Purpose & Meaning: The Key to true Happiness

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Meaning, Purpose, & Fulfilling Your Life’s Calling: This is How We Grow Personal Growth Group, Season 2

Meaning, Purpose & Fulfilling Your Life's Calling: #ThisIsHowWeGrow Personal Growth Group, Season 2; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #mentalhealth

Meaning, Purpose & Fulfilling Your Life's Calling: #ThisIsHowWeGrow Personal Growth Group, Season 2; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #mentalhealthIt’s that time of year again—time to resume my This is How We Grow Personal Growth Group! Last year was the first year I took it online, but really I’ve been doing this incredible group for going on five years. Hard to believe what started as a small church group to help women with depression has become such a staple of personal growth for so many.

 

We’ve had many different themes over the years in our in-person group, including “Discovering who you really are,” “How to keep an open heart and mind,” “How to create the life you desire,” and of course, last year’s theme (our first online session’s theme), “The seasons of personal growth.”

 

Now, as we begin Season 2 of our online group, I’ve been working hard to select a theme I think applies to all of us, no matter where we live, what life has handed us, or which season we’re in. It’s something I believe we’re all seeking a deeper understanding of—“Meaning, purpose, and fulfilling your life’s calling.”

 

 

Meaning, Purpose, & Fulfilling Your Life’s Calling: Season 2′s Theme!


The topics of this season’s theme are not new to me. I’ve been working on greater meaning, purpose, and fulfilling my life’s calling, personally, for many years now. I’ve been especially focused on these things these past months as I’ve been preparing for the upcoming season of our This is How We Grow Personal Growth Group, and I’ve come to know a few important things for sure:

 

1) Meaning & Purpose are essential to a happy, healthy, abundant life. Daily meaning and purpose get us through our weeks and months with greater joy and satisfaction. They help us get out of bed in the morning, carry us through tough moments, and create enthusiasm with each new day.

 

2) Meaning and Purpose are also essential to overcoming, becoming, and flourishing. When we seek and find meaning in even the hardest times, it helps us overcome them. Knowing there is a purpose for us helps us become who we are meant to be, and both of these are a core element of living a flourishing life.

 

Meaning, Purpose, & Fulfilling Your Life's Calling: #ThisIsHowWeGrow Personal Growth Group, Season 2!  www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

3) We each have a divine purpose, mission, or life calling here on earth. Every single one of us. If you don’t believe me, join us in the group this season. I’ll make a believer out of you.

 

4) Most of us struggle to understand what our life’s calling really is, or where to even begin. Years of helping people in my psychology practice, of helping friends, family, and myself, have clearly demonstrated how much we all struggle to know why we are here and what we are supposed to do. However…

 

5) It’s simpler to know than we realize. We just need a little guidance and direction, and a little more patience and hard work. That’s what this year’s group is all about.

 

6) We grow best by learning and growing together. I’m a firm believer in this one. Even though I’m an introvert and highly value learning on my own, there are many, many lessons we can only understand together. We need one another. We see ourselves more clearly through one another. One of my favorite quotes reminds us, “We cannot see ourselves. We need a mirror to see ourselves. You are my mirror, and I am yours.” (Debbie Ford, Dark Side of the Light Chasers, p. 54)

 

 

Join us for Season 2, This is How We Grow Personal Growth Group!

I am here to be a mirror, and I look forward to seeing more of myself in your mirrors, as well. That’s what this group is all about. I know as we prioritize our personal growth, and as we continually work on these things together, we will each discover greater meaning and purpose in our lives and begin to comprehend and truly fulfill our life’s callings. It’s going to be an exciting season of growth!

 

Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

FREE. Online. Growth. What more could you ask for?
For more details about the personal growth group, click here.

Join the This Is How We Grow Personal Growth Group Today!

Register Here:




After you’ve registered, above, join us in our This is How We Grow Personal Growth Group on Facebook! Just request to be added, and we’ll make sure you are! A great place to get to know other group members and “grow” together!

**Disclaimer: The This is How We Grow Personal Growth Group is purely educational. It does not replace the need for professional mental health care, including psychotherapy.**

 
 
 

Have a question, comment, or idea about meaning, purpose, life’s calling or the personal growth group? I’d love to hear it! Leave a comment, below.

 
 

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com!

 

 

 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

You may manage your subscription options from your profile.

 
 
 

Meaning, Purpose & Fulfilling Your Life's Calling: #ThisIsHowWeGrow Personal Growth Group, Season 2; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #mentalhealth

Don’t miss a thing! 

SUBSCRIBE, just below, “like” my Facebook pages (Dr. Christina HibbertThis Is How We Grow), and follow me on Twitter,Pinterest, & Instagram!

 You may manage your subscription options from your profile

 
 
 
 
 
 

Related Posts/Articles:

Living a Life of Purpose & Meaning: The Key to true Happiness

When Life Hands You Lemons, Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs

Create the Life You Desire: Part 2–The 3 Steps of Creating

“This is How We Grow:” Understanding the Seasons of Personal Growth

Join my Free, Online “This Is How We Grow” Personal Growth Group!

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Interviews with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Award-Winning Author of This Is How We Grow”

Interviews with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Award-Winning Author of "This Is How We Grow"; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

Interviews with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Award-Winning Author of "This Is How We Grow"; www.DrChristinaHibbert.comI’m always happy when others are interested in my work or my writing, but I’m especially grateful for opportunities to share the real me. To talk about my past and things like overcoming grief and postpartum depression, to discuss how I presently find ways to grow as a mother, psychologist, and author, and to dream about my future–in short, to let others see who I truly am and what I stand for. That’s why I’ve been thrilled lately to have had several interviews–on camera, radio, and in-print–which have enabled me to show my true colors.

 

 

“This is How We Grow” Interviews–various perspectives for all kinds of audiences

I am happy to share with you a few interviews I particularly enjoyed (below), because even though they’re all book interviews, they are 1) each with people from different perspectives and points of view, 2) speak to unique audiences, and 3) share insights on different topics, from writing, to fulfilling your dreams, to postpartum depression, to faith. Though they started out as an interview related to This Is How We Grow, each has its unique spin, opening up a little different side of me, and for that I am grateful.

I love to learn about other real people–to know how they do it in life, what their challenges are, how they overcome, become, and flourish. I hope, as you check out one, or two, or all of these interviews, they will do the same for you–help you

Receiving my IPPY medal in NYC!

Receiving my IPPY medal in NYC!

connect with me in some small way and know you’re not the only one. Help you see some new ways to grow. Then, I hope you’ll leave a comment here or on the video/post itself and let me know a little bit about what resonates with you. I desire to get to know what makes you tick just as much as I hope you’ll get to know a little more about me.

 

 

IPPY Book Award Interview–(For writers, fans of dreams coming true, and lovers of This is How We Grow!)

An hour before the Independent Publisher’s Book Awards (IPPYs) began, in New York City, I had the opportunity to sit down with their interviewer and discuss my book, the award, and what it meant to me.

I wrote about this experience here, but let me just add that this was an important event for me as an author. It was not only my first book award for This is How We Grow, but it was my first on-camera interview. I never get nervous to speak, even to large crowds, but I admit, I was a little nervous for this interview. Since I knew I’d be getting a copy to use for forever, I wanted it to be great, and you know what? I think it is pretty great. I hope you think so too!

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Word of Mom Radio (For Moms, Business Women, and Entrepreneurs!)

Word of Mom Radio is an online radio show that seeks to empower “mompreneurs” and business women. I actually met Word of Mom founder, Dori DiCarlo on Twitter (hooray for social media!) and we immediately hit it off. After an hour long phone conversation, I sent her a copy of my book, which she quickly read. She tweeted me, “Honestly it is one of the best books I have read in a long time…I rarely annotate books and can’t help myself with yours.” I was honored, and even more honored to be a guest on Dori’s show to discuss my book and how I juggle six children, a husband and home, a psychology practice, and now full-time work as an author!

The show is titled, “Award Winning Author Dr. Christina Hibbert on the Mompreneur Model Show” and you can download and listen to the podcast of the show at this link!

 

 

Segullah & Julie de Azevedo Hanks Blogs (For LDS, Faith-Based, and Spiritual Insights!)

Last week I was thrilled to be featured in two different posts on Segullah.org. The first was a This Is How We Grow book

I love this pic of Julie Hanks and me, expressing our many emotional sides at a women's conference.

I love this pic of Julie Hanks and me, expressing our many emotional sides at a women’s conference.

review, by editor Shelah Miner, and the second was an interview Shelah did with me. Segullah runs a journal and blog, its mission being “to encourage literary and artistic talent, provoke thought and promote greater understanding and faith among Latter-day Saint women.” It’s no secret I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, or “a Mormon,” as many people call us. I thoroughly enjoyed this interview with Segullah because it allowed me to share my experiences with achieving my dream of becoming an author, how I manage to write with six kids needing me all the time, and also to share some of my faith-building experiences I’ve had along my journey so far. You can check out the interview here: Faces of Latter-Day Saint Women: A Conversation with Author & Psychologist Dr. Christina Hibbert.

In a similar vein, I was honored to be interviewed by my good friend, Julie de Azevedo Hanks, last November when This is How We Grow was released. Julie is a well-known self and relationship expert, media personality, and singer-songwriter, and we’ve known each other for almost 8 years now. I loved Julie’s interview because she knows me. She knows what to ask and how to ask it, and again, I can also share my faith experiences with her since she is a member of the LDS faith as well. Check out Julie’s article, “Q & A with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Author of This is How We Grow,” here.

 

 

Postpartum Progress, Ivy’s PPD Blog, & Birthtouch (For Pregnant and Postpartum Moms, Dads, and Families!) 

Finally, I want to share some interviews and guest posts I did a few months back that center around the theme of “Postpartum Depression/Anxiety“. As a four-time survivor of PPD, I know a thing or two about how challenging it can be to feel well after a new baby comes, and especially how challenging it can be to feel well again. But as a clinical psychologist and expert in pregnancy and postpartum mood/anxiety disorders, I also know 1) you are not alone, 2) you will be well, and 3) with help, you will be well (PSI’s universal message). I am grateful for every opportunity I’m given to help pregnant and postpartum women realize these things.

It’s important for pregnant and postpartum women to realize they’re not the only ones feeling this way, and I loved the following three interviews/ guest posts for this very reason. I hope you’ll check them out and share with any pregnant/postpartum women and families you know:

Ivy’s PPD Blog: Interview with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Author of This Is How We Grow

Postpartum Progress Blog: Pregnancy & Postpartum Loss, Grief, & Family Healing, Part 1 & How to Cope with and Treat Perinatal Loss, Part 2

Birthtouch Blog: Interview & Book Review, This is How We Grow by Dr. Christina Hibbert

 

 

Do you enjoy learning about other people’s real lives as much as I do? In what ways did you most connect to one or more of these interviews? What do we have in common? I’d love to get to know you, too, so please leave a comment for me, below!

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com.
     
Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

FREE. Online. Growth. What more could you ask for?

 

 

 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

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Interviews with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Award-Winning Author of "This Is How We Grow"; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

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Related Articles/Posts:

This Is How We Grow wins an IPPY Award in NYC & is one of Aspire Magazine’s “Top 10 Inspirational Books!

When Life Hands You Lemons, Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs 

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Family Summer Vacation, & Personal Growth?: 10 Things I Learned in an RV w/my Family of 8 for 8 Days

Family Vacation & Personal Growth: 10 Things I Learned in an RV w/my Family of 8 for 8 Days; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #personalgrowth #TIHWG #motherhood #parenting #mentalhealth

Family Vacation & Personal Growth: 10 Things I Learned in an RV w/my Family of 8 for 8 Days; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #personalgrowth #TIHWG #motherhood #parenting #mentalhealthI knew it would be an adventure—driving over 2,000 miles in an RV, with my husband and our six kids, for 8 days, from Flagstaff, AZ to Las Vegas, to Utah to Idaho, to Montana to Yellowstone National Park, to Jackson, Wyoming and back. We’d been wanting to do this trip for years, and since my oldest had just graduated from high school (I still can’t believe I have a college student!), it was now or never.

We weren’t oblivious, however. My husband, OJ, and I both knew that being together, 24/7, in very tight quarters could be disastrous! “It will be memorable,” we laughed to each other. “Either it will be so bad we’ll never forget, or it will be so good.” I figured, based on our history, the former would be the case. I was pleasantly surprised to be wrong.

 

 

From Surviving to Thriving on Family Vacation

I had no idea how incredible this vacation would be—the scenery of Yellowstone, yes, but also the experience with my family. We’d had a rough few months going into it. We’d all been struggling through grief, especially me, yet on this crazy trip I felt better than I had in months. It made me wonder why.

On our drive home, I pulled out a notebook and began to write. I wanted to figure out why this trip, which had such potential to go horribly wrong, had gone so well. It made me wonder if I could take some lessons home with me to my “real life” and apply them. It gave me hope I might be able to bring this same peace, love, and joy I’d found, back home into my ordinary days.

 

 

10 Ways our Family Vacation Inspired my Personal Growth

(& how it can inspire yours, too!)

Not only did I have a really fun time on our family vacation; I grew. I didn’t intend to grow, it just happened.  Now, I hope to take what I learned on our trip and put it into practice in my everyday life.

So, here are 10 unexpected things I learned on this unexpected vacation, and thus 10 lessons I’m working to implement in my daily life now. I hope, in sharing them, you might feel inspired to do the same.

 

1) It forced me to live in the now. Kids have a way of doing that. It’s one thing I’ve always appreciated about being a mom of 6: I don’t have time to get too stuck in my head, because my kids are always pulling me back to the here and now. And being together all the time on this trip definitely left me with only “now.” Yes, at times it drove me nuts, constantly hearing, “Mom, mom,” but more so it was good for me. Also, Yellowstone is such an incredible place, with so much wildlife and beauty, you have to focus as you drive or you might miss something really good—like this bear by the side of the road or this incredible waterfall and river, as seen from “Artist’s Point” at “The Little Grand Canyon of Yellowstone.”

Family Vacation & Personal Growth? www.DrChristinaHibbert.comFamily Vacation, & Personal Growth? www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2) Traveling, for me, I realized, is a state of “flow,” and that means it helps me forget the unpleasantries of life. Yes, traveling with kids is crazy, and when they were younger it usually just pushed me over the edge of insanity. But I LOVE to travel, and now that they’re older, I love showing my kids the world, too. I was reading, “Flow,” by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, on this trip and I realized, for me, traveling is a state of “flow,” or can be. This quote explains what I mean, “One of the most frequently mentioned dimensions of the flow experience is that, while it lasts, one is able to forget all the unpleasant aspects of life…Enjoyable activities require a complete focusing of attention on the task at hand–thus leaving no room in the mind for irrelevant information.” (p. 58) Like the impressive river in that photo, above, I love  traveling; love being in flow.

 

3) Time with no electronics for a week? Priceless. I really don’t need to be plugged in all the time. I’m much more relaxed, much happier when I’m not. It also forced my four teenaged sons and two young, wannabe-teenaged daughters off their phones, tablets, and gaming devices. They had to spend all day playing and interacting with each other, and with us! Cards, Frisbee, football, bike-riding, I loved hearing them laugh together. Incredibly healing for all of us after we’ve had such a tough past few months.

Summer Family Vacation & Personal Growth; www.DrchristinaHibbert.com Summer Family Vacation & Personal Growth? www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4) I slept more soundly. Driving, moving, exploring all day, does wonders for a terrible sleeper like me. Even with 8 of us in a small, enclosed space, we all zonked out at the end of the day. It may have been late, and I may not have actually slept more hours than I usually do, but I definitely slept more deeply (with the help of earplugs, of course). The balance between activity and rest is crucial to sleep, and it makes me want to get out and explore more in my real life, too.

 

5) Seeing the beauty of the world brings out our own beauty. It reminds me of how vast and grand the world is and how tiny and shrinking my head. It reminds me how much I LOVE nature, and how amazing I feel when immersed in it. When I get out of my tiny head and just experience the beauty, I feel more beautiful, joyful, loving. How can you not, when you see things like this all day…

One of the most beautiful calderas (hot springs) we saw.

One of the most beautiful calderas (hot springs) we saw.

The Grand Tetons. Truly majestic.

The Grand Tetons. Truly majestic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6) It reminded me of my love for music, especially music with my family. Hearing my boys play guitar and laugh while “jamming” together, and seeing my girls do fireside song and dance performances was heavenly. It relaxes me. It also showed me how badly I need to get practicing guitar and song-writing again. It lights me up.

 

7) It made me appreciate my husband so much more. On the first day, OJ woke up at 5:30 (after a very late night Summer family Vacation & Personal Growth; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com before) and drove us from southern Utah to Montana while we all slept in. It was the best sleep in I’ve had in ages, with the rocking of the moving motor home! I woke up thinking, “What a guy.” I told him so. It made me really appreciate how hard he works for our happiness. Sure, we had our fighting moments (because, when traveling, let’s face it—things can get pretty stressful pretty quickly!), but there’s nothing like seeing the world with the one you adore, who adores you right back. (Read 17 Secrets for Making Marriage Work)

 

8) I really am happier with less. I’ve been craving simplicity for, well, forever. Now, I’m motivated to do something about it. Less stuff. Less saying yes to things that deplete me. More saying “yes” to living and being and loving. (Read Daily Mindfulness: 6 Ways to Put More Being into what You’re Doing)

 

9) Teaching my kids about and showing them the world is the best education—for them and me. I love showing them new places and new ways of seeing things. I also love hearing their perspectives on things as we do. I learn just as much, if not more, from them as they do from me.

 

10) Family vacations are an excellent lesson in patience and love.  Yes, I had to continually practice patience, do my deep breathing, etc, and I did lose it with the kids sometimes (namely late at night when they were fighting and I was beyond tired). But, I also held it together so many more times. I taught my daughter how to deep breathe and start journaling, too, to help her deal with the stress of her siblings. I guess we were all learning patience and greater love. Each kid had a ‘job’ each day—a job to become more patient and loving. “Your job is to look for the good and say it out loud today.” “Your job is to look around and notice what others need and not just what you want, and then to help them.” “Your job is to be more sharing with your things.” “Yours is to take 10 deep breaths each time you’re feeling too stressed and tired, and to pray when you need extra help.” (That was mine most of the time.)

 

How Family Vacation can Translate into Greater Love, Joy & Peace at Home

The big Question, then, after coming home and processing this experience, was this: “Why was I so much “better,” or as

Our Yellowstone campsite was amazing. Overlooking a grassy field that led to Lake Yellowstone, we hung a hammock off in the trees. I spent as much time here as I could. Ahh...peace.

Our Yellowstone campsite was amazing. Overlooking a grassy field that led to Lake Yellowstone, we hung a hammock off in the trees. I spent as much time here as I could. I came home and hung the hammock on our back deck. Ahh…peace.

OJ said, “put together,” in this crazy situation, versus at home?” And, more importantly, “Can’t I choose to be this way all the time?”

I’m sure going to try. I figure, what good is all this personal growth I achieved on vacation if I can’t somehow bring it home? I can choose to live in the now each day, to find my “flow” in what I do, or seek it when it’s missing. I can turn off the electronics, spend more quality time with my family, and notice more of the great beauty around me; chances are, I’ll sleep more soundly. I can clear the clutter–both mentally and physically and simplify my schedule and mind. I can focus on love and patience, and actively seek the good in my husband and children. I can sing more and develop my talents, and I can share them with my kids–another great way to learn from one another.

I can choose to follow my vacation rule, “No complaining.” What’s the point of complaining anyway? Instead, I can choose to bring that feel of this family vacation home every day. I can choose to continually grow.

And so can you.

 

What have you learned from family vacations? What surprises have you found that you’d like to share? We’d love to hear them, so please leave a comment, below!

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
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Summer Reading & Personal Growth: Dr. Hibbert’s Top 10 Books

Dr. Christina Hibbert's "Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #summer #books

Dr. Christina Hibbert's "Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #summer #books

I love to read. I love learning, and I find there’s no better way to learn than by devouring book after book.

 

Summer Reading 

I especially love to read in the summer. My kids are all home, and with six of them, four of whom are teenagers, summers can be a little hectic. As I’ve said before, I feel like a lady-in-waiting in summer, biding my time waiting for the next child to come looking for a ride, an activity, a listening ear, or emotional support. As I wrote in This is How We Grow, “I read all summer long because: 1) I love learning, and 2) it is one activity I can do and not feel frustrated when I’m interrupted, because with six children home all day, that is about the only thing I can count on–interruption.” (p. 335)

 

I also love getting book ideas from friends and colleagues. I always post on my Facebook page at the beginning of summer, asking for summer reading suggestions, and I’d love to hear your suggestions in the comments, below.

 

Personal Growth Books & Summer Reading

Now, it’s time for me to give back and offer a few suggestions of my own. This first list (as I assume there will be more to follow) consists of some of my very favorite books of all time–those I read years ago, and those I have recently read. It’s hard to pick my absolute favorites because they’re all so different, but I started by going to my Goodreads reviews (join me on Goodreads for more ideas!) and listing those to which I gave 5 stars.

 

Understand, I only give 5 stars to books I absolutely LOVE. My standard rating is 3 stars for a book I like. 4 stars means it was better than average. But 5 stars means, for whatever reason, it sang to me. (Yes, I admit I’ve given 5 star ratings to friends’ books even if I would normally have given them less, but for the most part I’m pretty consistent.)

 

Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books

Below are ten of my top summer readings pics. I am a huge non-fiction reader, and I also love a good novel to help me escape. I’ve included both here. Fiction or non-fiction, all of them in some way inspired my own personal growth.  I hope one (or more) gets you reading this summer and helps you “grow,” too!

 

1) Wonder, R.J. Palacio. It’s no wonder I loved this story. It tells of a fifth grade boy born with a disfigured face who is Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books, w/Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #bookssimply trying to make his way in this crazy world. Told from the perspective of himself, his sister, parents, and friends, this easy-to-read book is a perfect glimpse into how we treat others and the perfect motivation to do a little bit better. A great family read–I recommended it to my own kids and even my husband. Your family will love it, too.

 

2) The Invention of Wings, Sue Monk KiddThis is one of my new all-time favorite books. Based on the real life story of two sisters who changed the abolition and women’s movements, this book is masterfully written and leaves you feeling inspired to make a difference in your world, too.

 

3) Leadership and Self-Deception, Arbinger Institute. This book changed my life. Really. It changed how I see myself in relation to those in my life, and it became a staple in what I teach others to do as a psychologist. Written in a story format, this book takes important, complex principles and delivers them in an easy-to-read format. After you read this, you might want to move on to one of my all-time favorite books, Bonds that Make Us Free, by C. Terry Warner (my former BYU professor!). It’s a much deeper read, so take your time if you read it. I’ve read, highlighted, and taken notes three times, and even taught a three-part book club on it!Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #books #summer

 

4) The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer, New Harbinger Publications. This NY Times bestseller is one of my all-time favorites, too. Mr. Singer writes in a simple way that helps readers understand how to keep our hearts open even when they want to keep closing. I even used this book for an entire year of  my in-person Personal Growth Group (you can join my online group here.). It’s also pretty cool this book was published by my publisher for my forthcoming book on Self-Esteem After a Breakup, New Harbinger Publications! (Coming March 2015!)

 

5) The Alchemist, Paulo Coehlo. I’ve also read this three times. I love mystical feel of the story, and I especially love how it pricks my heart and makes me wonder what I was sent to this earth to do, too.

 

6) Gift from the Sea, Anne Morrow Lindbergh. I have read this many times, and there’s nothing like reading it in the summer. This one will especially resonate with mothers of all ages and stages. It was a crucial part of me learning, yearsDr. Christina Hibbert's Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #summer #books ago, of the necessity of time away, alone, in motherhood. Hopefully, it can do the same for you.

 

7) The Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck. I didn’t read this classic book until just a few years ago, but once I did, whew! I underlined almost all of it. Dr. Peck writes beautifully about love and relationships and healing, and choosing to grow, and we all know I’m all about choosing to grow!

 

8) Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl. I read this in high school for the first time, and from that point on whenever asked “What is your favorite book?” I would say, “Man’s Search for Meaning.” Since then, I’ve read it many more times and quote from it often. The true story of how Dr. Frankl, a psychiatrist, survived a Nazi concentration camp, if you haven’t yet read it, it needs to be on your “must read” list, for sure.

Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #books #parenting

9) Have a New Kid by Friday, Dr. Kevin Leman. If you’re looking for a great parenting book, this is one of my favorites. Easy to understand, quick to grasp, this book will give you specific strategies you can implement immediately to help your children learn about natural consequences and help you feel less stressed. A great tool for summers when kids are home driving you crazy!

 

10) Daughter of the Forest Juliet Marillier (The first in the Sevenwaters series.) I have to add this book, because it is one of my favorite novels, and it is a great read if you’re looking for a little escape. Set in another world in another time, it tells the tale of one brave young woman and her seven brothers, but really it tells of family love. I enjoy reading clean books, and this has only one scene that’s painful to read (but necessary to the story). The rest of the story left me wanting more and feeling an immense increase of love for my own family. (I’ve also read the next two in the series and enjoyed them as well, but this is my favorite.)

IPPY Award Winner & Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow. "Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #books

Bonus: For pure fun–If you’re a Jane Austen fan (like I am) and looking for a clean romance to help you escape into summer, I recommend Edenbrooke, by Julianne Donaldson. It was one of my favorite summer reads last year. Pure fun. And fun is a very important part of personal growth!

 

 

**Final Note: While I definitely recommend my own book, IPPY-Award Winner,  This is How We Grow, as a great summer read that is guaranteed to inspire you to grow, I cannot review my own book. There are plenty of detailed reviews on Amazon from over 90 readers, however, so check them out, and see what you think!

 

 

Leave a comment!

What books do you recommend for a good summer read? What books have helped you grow the most? Have you read and of the books on my list? If so, what are your reviews? I’d love to hear your summer reading suggestions, so please leave me a comment, below!

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com.

    

 
 
 

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Let’s Connect…

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Related Articles/Posts:

This Is How We Grow wins an IPPY Award in NYC & is one of Aspire Magazine’s “Top 10 Inspirational Books!

When Life Hands You Lemons, Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs 

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Mom Mental Health: HOW to Get Alone Time (25+ Strategies) (& video)

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“Perfect?” or “Fake?” 8 Truths about Perfectionism, & 8 Truths to Cure It

“This Is How We Grow” Personal Growth Tools: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs

When Life Hands You Lemons...Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #TIHWG #personalgrowth #MH

  
When Life Hands You Lemons...Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #TIHWG #personalgrowth #MH

It’s no secret life has handed me some lemons–again. I wrote about it a week ago; once again, I’m in a season of loss and grief.

 

Being here again makes me wonder, “When life hands me lemons, do I really want to make lemonade? Is there something better waiting for me than a satisfying sip of a sugary drink?” It makes me stop and reevaluate.

 
 

Life Trials and Transitions: The Lemons
Some times of life naturally lead to self-reflection and evaluation. Transitions like the beginning of a school year, a birthday (especially a big one), New Year’s Day, and the beginning of summer always make me stop and reevaluate.

 

Then, there are life trials. These “lemons” life hands us provide another crucial time to stop and reevaluate. Lately, my lemons have been re-experiencing intense loss and grief. For others, it may be an episode of depression, a breakup or divorce, pregnancy or postpartum, a wayward child, or plain and simple life stress.

 

Like the seasons, life keeps changing, and as it does we must continually ask, “Am I going to go through this change, or can I choose to grow through this change?” “Like fall fades to winter and spring blooms to summer, we can choose to grow through [all] the seasons of life.” (This Is How We Grow, p. 5)

  

Reevaluating the Lemons of Life

The truth is, when life hands us lemons it might not always be best to make lemonade. Maybe it’s better to plant the lemon seeds and grow our own lemon tree so we can make lemonade any time we desire for everyone we know. Instead of jumping in and doing the easy or expected thing, perhaps we need to stop and reevaluate what is actually best for us at each phase and season of life.

 

That’s one great thing about hardships and change—they force us to slow down and pay attention. When we listen to our bodies, minds, experiences, life lessons, we learn, we grow, and eventually, up better than we could have dreamed.

  

Four Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs
How do we stop and reevaluate? First, stop. Literally sit quietly and breathe. Then, follow these four steps and repeat When Life Hands you Lemons...Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #ThisIsHowWeGrowoften. As Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Whatever season, transition, or hardship you’re in, take the time to examine life, where you are, and where you’re headed. It’s the surest way to get you where you really want to be.

 

1) Ask, “Where am I right now?” First, we must get real about where we are. This may involve accepting you’re not where you want to be. It may involve letting yourself feel things you’ve been trying not to feel. For me, this has involved admitting I’m back in the middle of grief, and picking up the phone to set up an appointment with my psychologist; it’s involved admitting I cannot do this alone. Be willing to see where you are. Gently open your eyes, and then honestly look at your life, the people in it, and where you seem to be headed.

 

2) Ask, “Where do I desire to be?” It is good to desire. It’s an important step in the process of overcoming, becoming, and flourishing. Close your eyes and envision where you would like to be. You may see yourself healthy and smiling, with relationships that thrive, or discovering your true self and fulfilling your life’s mission and purpose. At this point, I envision feeling grief-free, whole, healthy, and full of joy again; I imagine the same for my children.

Dream about all the blessings you desire to have one day. Then, write about what you see. Make it clear and concrete, and revisit your desires often. It is in reevaluating our desires that we course correct to eventually arrive at who, how, and where we want to be. (More on this, read “Create the Life You Desire” Part 1 & Part 2)

 

3) Ask, “What do I need?” This question has been constantly on my mind. I know I’m burned out, and I know something has to change. But what, and how? The only way to answer is to first figure out what I need. What do I mean by “needs?” I mean, the things we absolutely must have right now if we want any shot of fulfilling those desires we envision.

I know it can be hard for many of us to admit we have needs, or to not feel guilty about meeting them. So, let me just When Life Hands You Lemons...Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #ThisIsHowWeGrow #TIHWGsay it loud and clear: You have needs because you actually NEED these things. It’s not a question of worthiness; it’s a matter of necessity. It’s a matter of life or death, wellness or illness, joy or despair. For me, right now, I need sleep. I need space in which I can ponder, learn, and heal. I need to focus on my family; I need to let us have fun together, create memories, and recharge. Knowing my needs is the first step in getting them met. (More on How to Get Needs Met here.)

 

4) Fearlessly meet your needs. If you know what you absolutely need, then you absolutely need to get those needs met. It’s not an option to keep saying, “I don’t really need this,” or “it can wait,” or “Well, no one else seems to think I need this, so I must be wrong.” No. Trust me. We cannot afford to fail in meeting our needs. The cost is too high. My dear friend recently lost her life to depression because she was not able to acknowledge her needs and let help in.

We cannot keep putting off our needs. We must demand they be met. We must breathe, trust ourselves, then fearlessly say “No” when we must, “Yes” when we must, and keep repeating, “I need your help,” until we get our needs met. I know it’s not easy, but we mustn’t give up. (More on How to Meet Needs: 4 Tips for Asking & Receiving) (More on How to Not Let Fear Get the Better of You!

 
 
Stop…TODAY…and Reevaluate.

That’s how we get to where we want to be in life. That’s how we overcome life’s struggles, become our highest self, and flourish in joy and love. Stop today and reevaluate what you want to do with your lemons. Learn from the bitter in life, and you will one day know the sweet.

 

 

 

What makes you stop and reevaluate life? What tools help you fearlessly meet your needs? Share with us by leaving a comment, below!

 

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com.

    

 
 
 

Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

FREE. Online. Growth. What more could you ask for?

 
 
 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

You may manage your subscription options from your profile.

 
 
 

When Life Hands You Lemons...Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #TIHWG #personalgrowth #MH

 
 
 

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“Like” my Facebook pages (Dr. Christina HibbertThis Is How We Grow) and follow me on Twitter,Pinterest, & Instagram!

 
 
 
 
 
 

Related Articles/Posts:

Life: The Battle & The Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth)

Understanding & Coping with Loss & Trauma

PPD & Motherhood Mental Health: Self-Care & Letting Help In–The 2 Most Important Things

This Is How We Grow wins an IPPY Award in NYC & is one of Aspire Magazine’s “Top 10 Inspirational Books!

This is How We Grow:” Understanding the Seasons of Personal Growth

Join my Free, Online “This Is How We Grow” Personal Growth Group!

In Memory of my Sister, on the 5th Anniversary of her Death

What I’ve Learned about Personal Growth from a Decade of Yearly Themes

Weather the Storms Together: 4 Ways to Strengthen Families in Times of Stress

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Discovering Self-Worth: Why is it So Hard to Love Ourselves?

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How to Feel Self-Worth: “The Pyramid of Self-Worth” (& video)

Learning Self-Love: 5 Tricks for Treating Yourself More Kindly

16 Things I’d Like My Postpartum Self to Know, 16 Years & 6 Kids Later (PSI Blog Hop)

Mom Mental Health (& Happiness): The Importance of Alone Time

Mom Mental Health: HOW to Get Alone Time (25+ Strategies) (& video)

Mother’s Day & “Mommy Fails”: 3 Messages All Moms Need to Hear

“Perfect?” or “Fake?” 8 Truths about Perfectionism, & 8 Truths to Cure It

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