Confession: “I was Addicted to Busyness & Didn’t Even Know It”

Confession: "I was addicted to busyness & didn't even know it." www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #blog

Confession: "I was addicted to busyness & didn't even know it." www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #blogI’m no stranger to busyness. I came by it honestly. Since graduate school–with two young kids (5 months & 3 years), my husband in dental school, and caring for my younger sister who lived with us–life has been incredibly busy. I became pregnant with our 3rd baby during our fourth year, in addition to internships, dissertation, and part-time work so we could keep our family financially afloat.

My husband graduated and started work as a dentist–in another state–three months before I graduated. Each week, he would commute from LA, where the kids and I stayed so I could finish my internship and classwork and they could finish school, to Phoenix, and back. Finally, I graduated, 8-months pregnant, on a Sunday. I gave birth the following Sunday, and we moved back to Phoenix the following Friday.

Like I said, life was naturally incredibly busy.

 

 

How “Life” can Sweep You Into Busyness

After we graduated, I stayed home full-time, in a new city, with a newborn, 4 and 6 year-old, while my husband started full-time work as a dentist. I used to say I “did nothing” during this time, but that’s not true. I may not have been in school or working outside the home, but I was a full-time mom of 3, and motherhood is busy by nature. Add to that my third battle with Postpartum Depression & Anxiety, and it was a lot. Looking back, I think I was also so used to the pace of graduate school that I unknowingly kept it up, filling our days with activities, play dates, church responsibilities, breastfeeding (of course), hosting parties, and making delicious meals. I was trying to do it

With the fam, zip lining in Mexico, last spring break. Just being a parent can push us into busyness addiction if we're not careful! (This is "good" busy, though--making memories!)

With the fam, zip lining in Mexico, last spring break. Just being a parent can push us into busyness addiction if we’re not careful! (This is “good” busy, though–making memories!)

all, and it was taking its toll.

Little sleep, very long days, and then, one year later, we moved again, and I started working toward licensure as a clinical psychologist. Soon after, I signed a contract in a group practice. My employers kept increasing my hours until I was forced to see 28 clients a week, on top of caring for 3 kids, a new home, major struggles in my family of origin, and a husband recently diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and starting his own dental practice. It was way too much.

I thought I was going to slow down when I finally quit my job to stay home after having my fourth and final baby. But, as many of you know, things only intensified as my sister and brother-in-law died weeks before and I suddenly became the mother of six children.

 

 

When “Busyness” is Survival

During this time of my life, busyness became survival. If I didn’t keep moving, I couldn’t keep up. Soon, months had flown by. I got used to this new level of busyness—even worse than graduate school–a constant stream of needs, responsibilities, and energy that demanded my attention, 24/7. Also, busyness helped me avoid the intense grief and pain from the loss of my sister & brother-in-law since I didn’t yet have time to fully process and mend.

Sometimes, we have to stay busy to survive, and that’s okay.

A little over a year later, I felt the call to start a very part-time private practice. I was cautious and worried about

This is me, on our family vacation last year, finishing my second book proposal, due that day, while my 10 year-old daughter drove the boat (in my husband's lap) back to the dock so I could email it out! Talk about too busy.

This is me, on our family vacation last year, finishing my second book proposal, due that day, while my 10 year-old daughter drove the boat (in my husband’s lap) back to the dock so I could email it out! Talk about too busy.

overdoing it since life still hadn’t slowed down much, but I also believe in service and helping others. I couldn’t explain it; it simply felt like the right thing to do. It made life busier, but also richer; I finally felt like that part of me I thought had died was alive again.

And then, I started writing. First, just 10 minutes at night, after my kids went to sleep; writing was therapy. Soon, it

was 5, then 10, then 20 hours a week as I decided to write our story into a book. Whenever I wasn’t taking care of kids, I was writing—and then publishing, which included starting a website/blog, building a platform through social media, and an intense editing schedule, all of which I did when my kids were at school, asleep, or when I could wrangle up some help to watch them (my husband was great!).

 

 

The Highs & Lows of “Busyness”
I loved and despised it. I cherished the meaning, challenge, and purpose of what I was doing, but loathed how it sucked every moment from me, how I felt like I could never rest or relax, how I was always just “keeping up.”

Soon, I was releasing my first book while also writing my second for a new publisher. Add to that parenting challenges, book marketing, and plain old life stress, and I was on the verge of a complete meltdown.

 

 

What Opened My Eyes & Led to Busyness Detox
It wasn’t until my friend took her life, at the end of April, that it really hit me, that I truly got it. The harshest kind of lesson.

“This has to stop!” I told myself. “I can’t afford to keep burning out anymore. My family can’t afford it. They need aConfession: "I was addicted to busyness & didn't even know it." www.DrChristinaHibbert.com healthy, flourishing mother. I need it, too.”

I quit everything. Initially, it was so I could grieve and focus on healing, for my family and for me, and it was a relief. So many people always need me, and it felt unbearably overwhelming at that time. Letting it all go was like finally breathing when I hadn’t even realized I’d been drowning.

A month in, however, the understimulation took its toll. Boredom arrived. It’s my usual pattern: Overdo it, burnout, completely stop everything to recoup, love it for a while, start feeling restless, bored, depressed, look for a new “project” to fight the boredom. Add things until the restlessness vanishes. Repeat.

I was tempted to add something: “Maybe I should pitch a new book idea, or become a college professor.”

Luckily, I was in therapy (again), and my psychologist gave me some excellent advice: “You’ve just been through another major trauma, one that has triggered your many previous traumas and losses,” he said. “You’re finally feeling some relief from the intense grief you’ve been feeling. You have six kids who are still trying to heal from this, too, not to mention just keeping up with the usual demands of a large family. You have a loving husband who wants to spend time with you. You have a home to care for. You’re helping people at your practice one morning a week, at your church in your calling, and you help your friends, family, and people online. You’ve published your first book, you just finished your second, and are about to start your third,” he reminded me. Then, the kicker. “Isn’t that enough?”

It clicked.

“Yes,” I said. “Yes, it is definitely enough.”

Enough of the “busyness!” I needed to let the restlessness ride. I made the choice then and there that I would not add a single thing. Instead, I would focus the rest of that month and the rest of the summer solely on making memories with my family, on reading, relaxing, catching up on sleep, and healing. I would focus on those things that truly mattered.

It was more than enough.

 

 

The Truth about My Relationship with Busyness

It’s embarrassing to admit all this; I thought I was just busy because that was what life had thrown me. I didn’t see

how much I’d added to the busyness, nor how addicted to that pace I had become. This summer was my first step inConfession: "I was addicted to busyness & didn't even know it." www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #blog #motherhood #mh seeing how much I’ve used busyness as my identity over the years, how much I’ve relied upon it to give my life some sense of meaning, to give me a sense of purpose and value.

I’ve long known, intellectually, that busyness does not equal value or “who I am;” it’s not a badge of honor or proof of status, superiority, or worthiness. I’ve known this. I’ve taught it. I’ve said many times over the years, “I don’t want to be busy,” and I meant it! I wanted space in my life so I could be available to serve, to love, to live, to be. I told myself it was just life that was forcing me to be busy, that it wasn’t my choice. But I was wrong. Yes, sometimes it was life, but sometimes, it was me.

It wasn’t until just a couple of weeks ago, three months after my decision to let myself stick with the restlessness and boredom, that I could really see the truth: I was in busyness detox. Just like coming off a drug, I had to let myself go through the uncomfortable feelings of boredom, anxiety, frustration, of feeling like nothing was interesting, like I wasn’t doing enough, in order to get to the other side and see the truth.

 

 

What I Know Now

Now, on the other side, I feel free. Yes, my life is still full. With six kids and a job like mine, it’s always going to be,

Life after busyness. Ahhh...

Life after busyness. Ahhh…

and I am grateful for it. I like full. Full is beautiful.

But I’m not busy. Sure, I have busy moments, but I am proceeding very carefully. I am careful about what I allow into my life now. I pray and ponder about every opportunity that comes my way to see if it’s something that fits with the life I want, and need, to live at this time of my life.

I allow myself much more down time now, too. I need it to feel healthy and happy, to be the person I truly want to be. I can watch TV or nap or read. I can go on vacation. I can go out with my husband and not feel guilty. I feel greater peace and greater joy. I am finally truly living.

Busyness of the sake of being busy, I’ve learned, is the opposite of living. It’s a slow death. It’s a distraction from what matters most. It prevents the best in life by settling for the “good” or even the “ok.” It’s the opposite of flourishing.

I choose flourishing. What will your choice be?

 

 

 

 What are your thoughts on busyness? Could you relate to any part of my story? How do you know when you are “too busy,” and what do you do to detox and overcome? I love hearing from you, so please leave a comment, below!
 And, if you can relate, then…

Watch for Part 2–Addicted to Busyness: How to Detox & Overcome in 6 Steps

Coming very soon!

 

 

 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

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#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com!

 

 

 

 

Confession: "I was addicted to busyness & didn't even know it." www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #blog
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Personal Growth Tools: How to Create your Life’s Vision

Personal Growth Tools: "How to Create your Life's Vision" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #ThisIsHowWeGrow #PersonalGrowth #Group

Personal Growth Tools: "How to Create your Life's Vision" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #ThisIsHowWeGrow #PersonalGrowth #Group

“The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.”

~Helen Keller

 
When you look at your future, what do you see? Do you see yourself growing and becoming the person you’ve always desired to be? Or are you clinging so tightly to negative thoughts, worries, and fears that you’ve clouded your vision? Have you even given it much thought before?

 

Creating a life vision is the first step in realizing that vision. It’s the first step in knowing what you’re aiming for, in recognizing your potential. It’s one thing to think, “My future has great potential;” it’s another to actually see it, strive for it, and eventually, realize that potential. Creating your life’s vision is the place to start.

 

 

Live with vision.

It’s pretty hard to live the life you wish you had if you don’t have a vision of what that life would be. Sure, you may stumble upon happiness, wealth, success, and healthy relationships, but, in the vast majority of cases, these things don’t just “happen.” Personal Growth Tools: "How to Create Your Life's Vision"; www.DrChristinaHibbert.comThey take a whole lot of work.

 

Living without vision means waiting around for good things to hopefully happen to you. It means taking your chances with whatever comes your way and hoping you end up where you want to be, hoping you end up becoming the person you always wished you’d become.

 

Living with vision, on the other hand, implies living with direction, purpose, and thus greater meaning in each day. It means knowing who you’re striving to become and working to get there.

 

 

What is “vision?”

Vision is a key element of personal growth. Living with vision means creating a clear image of what you desire out of life, then remembering and working toward that image.

 

Having a vision includes seeing the best possible outcomes for work, family, relationships, personal development, faith, and anything else that matters to you. As we work on creating a life’s vision, we force ourselves to imagine the future. We begin to practice seeing who and what we hope to become. In seeing our hoped-for future, we are better prepared to set goals and take the necessary measures to get us there. We are also better prepared to correct the habits that may be leading us off-course.

 

 

How to create your life’s vision.

Your vision may involve a meaningful phrase, quote, or words to inspire you, or it may simply be closing your eyes and seeing those clear images you’ve imagined, over and again. I have found the following steps particularly helpful in creating a life vision. I hope they inspire you, too.

 

1)    Set aside some quiet time and space to work on creating your life’s vision. When you’re ready, relax, breathe, close your Personal Growth Tools: "How to Create Your Life's Vision" www.DrChristinaHibbert.comeyes. Begin to let yourself imagine your best possible future. What do you envision for yourself, your family, friends, work, future, and for your own growth and development? What traits would you most like to possess? Who would you like to be?  Write it all down.

 

2)   Add to your list of what you envisioned. Write down all the things that are most important to you. What values, characteristics, and experiences matter most? Create a list as long as you’d like, and continue adding to it as more things come. (When I first did this, I had an entire page covered in words describing what matters most to me.)

 

3) When you’re ready, revisit your lists. Group like things together—for instance “compassion,” “kindness,” and “giving,” could all be grouped under “love.” Group together as many traits/items as possible, making sure each group has one word/phrase as its title.

 

4) Circle those words/phrases from your grouped list that feel most important to you. Circle as many as you’d like.

 

5) From the grouped list with circled items, choose three words/phrases that feel most important to you at this time. Write them down. For example, my three words are “Faith, Love, Joy.” These words encompass many other important aspects of my life, including family, contribution, spirituality, and yes, growth. These three words express my life’s vision. A simple, effective way to remind me of the meaning, purpose, and direction I desire my life to take each day. This exercise can give you the vision you are seeking, too.

 

 

Bottom line…

1)    Envision the life you desire. Don’t hold back. You need a vision in order to achieve it.

2)    Then, remember your vision and work toward it each day. It really is that simple.

 

 

*Bonus ToolDream yourself to sleep

Instead of thinking of all your worries and stress as you drift off each night, imagine the best possible future for your loved ones and you. See it clearly in your mind. “Dreaming to sleep” not only helps you sleep more peacefully; it helps you wake ready to work, to see your vision come to reality.

 

 

 

~This post was adapted from Dr. Hibbert’s new book with New Harbinger Publications,

Who Am I Without You?: 52 Ways to Rebuild Self-Esteem After a Breakup.

To be released March 2015 & available for pre-order on Amazon.com!

  

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com!

 

 

 

 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

You may manage your subscription options from your profile.

 

 

 

Personal Growth Tools: "How to Create your Life's Vision" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #ThisIsHowWeGrow #PersonalGrowth #Group
Don’t miss a thing! 

SUBSCRIBE, just below, “like” my Facebook pages (Dr. Christina HibbertThis Is How We Grow), and follow me on Twitter,Pinterest, & Instagram!

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Related Posts/Articles:

Living a Life of Purpose & Meaning: The Key to true Happiness

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10 Ways I Choose to Grow Each Day 

Personal Growth & Self-Actualization: What Will Your Choice Be?

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Meaning, Purpose, & Fulfilling Your Life’s Calling: This is How We Grow Personal Growth Group, Season 2

Meaning, Purpose & Fulfilling Your Life's Calling: #ThisIsHowWeGrow Personal Growth Group, Season 2; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #mentalhealth

Meaning, Purpose & Fulfilling Your Life's Calling: #ThisIsHowWeGrow Personal Growth Group, Season 2; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #mentalhealthIt’s that time of year again—time to resume my This is How We Grow Personal Growth Group! Last year was the first year I took it online, but really I’ve been doing this incredible group for going on five years. Hard to believe what started as a small church group to help women with depression has become such a staple of personal growth for so many.

 

We’ve had many different themes over the years in our in-person group, including “Discovering who you really are,” “How to keep an open heart and mind,” “How to create the life you desire,” and of course, last year’s theme (our first online session’s theme), “The seasons of personal growth.”

 

Now, as we begin Season 2 of our online group, I’ve been working hard to select a theme I think applies to all of us, no matter where we live, what life has handed us, or which season we’re in. It’s something I believe we’re all seeking a deeper understanding of—“Meaning, purpose, and fulfilling your life’s calling.”

 

 

Meaning, Purpose, & Fulfilling Your Life’s Calling: Season 2′s Theme!


The topics of this season’s theme are not new to me. I’ve been working on greater meaning, purpose, and fulfilling my life’s calling, personally, for many years now. I’ve been especially focused on these things these past months as I’ve been preparing for the upcoming season of our This is How We Grow Personal Growth Group, and I’ve come to know a few important things for sure:

 

1) Meaning & Purpose are essential to a happy, healthy, abundant life. Daily meaning and purpose get us through our weeks and months with greater joy and satisfaction. They help us get out of bed in the morning, carry us through tough moments, and create enthusiasm with each new day.

 

2) Meaning and Purpose are also essential to overcoming, becoming, and flourishing. When we seek and find meaning in even the hardest times, it helps us overcome them. Knowing there is a purpose for us helps us become who we are meant to be, and both of these are a core element of living a flourishing life.

 

Meaning, Purpose, & Fulfilling Your Life's Calling: #ThisIsHowWeGrow Personal Growth Group, Season 2!  www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

3) We each have a divine purpose, mission, or life calling here on earth. Every single one of us. If you don’t believe me, join us in the group this season. I’ll make a believer out of you.

 

4) Most of us struggle to understand what our life’s calling really is, or where to even begin. Years of helping people in my psychology practice, of helping friends, family, and myself, have clearly demonstrated how much we all struggle to know why we are here and what we are supposed to do. However…

 

5) It’s simpler to know than we realize. We just need a little guidance and direction, and a little more patience and hard work. That’s what this year’s group is all about.

 

6) We grow best by learning and growing together. I’m a firm believer in this one. Even though I’m an introvert and highly value learning on my own, there are many, many lessons we can only understand together. We need one another. We see ourselves more clearly through one another. One of my favorite quotes reminds us, “We cannot see ourselves. We need a mirror to see ourselves. You are my mirror, and I am yours.” (Debbie Ford, Dark Side of the Light Chasers, p. 54)

 

 

Join us for Season 2, This is How We Grow Personal Growth Group!

I am here to be a mirror, and I look forward to seeing more of myself in your mirrors, as well. That’s what this group is all about. I know as we prioritize our personal growth, and as we continually work on these things together, we will each discover greater meaning and purpose in our lives and begin to comprehend and truly fulfill our life’s callings. It’s going to be an exciting season of growth!

 

Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

FREE. Online. Growth. What more could you ask for?
For more details about the personal growth group, click here.

Join the This Is How We Grow Personal Growth Group Today!

Register Here:




After you’ve registered, above, join us in our This is How We Grow Personal Growth Group on Facebook! Just request to be added, and we’ll make sure you are! A great place to get to know other group members and “grow” together!

**Disclaimer: The This is How We Grow Personal Growth Group is purely educational. It does not replace the need for professional mental health care, including psychotherapy.**

 
 
 

Have a question, comment, or idea about meaning, purpose, life’s calling or the personal growth group? I’d love to hear it! Leave a comment, below.

 
 

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com!

 

 

 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

You may manage your subscription options from your profile.

 
 
 

Meaning, Purpose & Fulfilling Your Life's Calling: #ThisIsHowWeGrow Personal Growth Group, Season 2; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #mentalhealth

Don’t miss a thing! 

SUBSCRIBE, just below, “like” my Facebook pages (Dr. Christina HibbertThis Is How We Grow), and follow me on Twitter,Pinterest, & Instagram!

 You may manage your subscription options from your profile

 
 
 
 
 
 

Related Posts/Articles:

Living a Life of Purpose & Meaning: The Key to true Happiness

When Life Hands You Lemons, Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs

Create the Life You Desire: Part 2–The 3 Steps of Creating

“This is How We Grow:” Understanding the Seasons of Personal Growth

Join my Free, Online “This Is How We Grow” Personal Growth Group!

This Is How We Grow wins an IPPY Award in NYC & is one of Aspire Magazine’s “Top 10 Inspirational Books!”

Life: The Battle & The Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth)

Personal Growth & Family Vacation?: 10 Things I Learned in an RV with my Family of 8 for 8 Days

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Interviews with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Award-Winning Author of This Is How We Grow”

Interviews with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Award-Winning Author of "This Is How We Grow"; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

Interviews with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Award-Winning Author of "This Is How We Grow"; www.DrChristinaHibbert.comI’m always happy when others are interested in my work or my writing, but I’m especially grateful for opportunities to share the real me. To talk about my past and things like overcoming grief and postpartum depression, to discuss how I presently find ways to grow as a mother, psychologist, and author, and to dream about my future–in short, to let others see who I truly am and what I stand for. That’s why I’ve been thrilled lately to have had several interviews–on camera, radio, and in-print–which have enabled me to show my true colors.

 

 

“This is How We Grow” Interviews–various perspectives for all kinds of audiences

I am happy to share with you a few interviews I particularly enjoyed (below), because even though they’re all book interviews, they are 1) each with people from different perspectives and points of view, 2) speak to unique audiences, and 3) share insights on different topics, from writing, to fulfilling your dreams, to postpartum depression, to faith. Though they started out as an interview related to This Is How We Grow, each has its unique spin, opening up a little different side of me, and for that I am grateful.

I love to learn about other real people–to know how they do it in life, what their challenges are, how they overcome, become, and flourish. I hope, as you check out one, or two, or all of these interviews, they will do the same for you–help you

Receiving my IPPY medal in NYC!

Receiving my IPPY medal in NYC!

connect with me in some small way and know you’re not the only one. Help you see some new ways to grow. Then, I hope you’ll leave a comment here or on the video/post itself and let me know a little bit about what resonates with you. I desire to get to know what makes you tick just as much as I hope you’ll get to know a little more about me.

 

 

IPPY Book Award Interview–(For writers, fans of dreams coming true, and lovers of This is How We Grow!)

An hour before the Independent Publisher’s Book Awards (IPPYs) began, in New York City, I had the opportunity to sit down with their interviewer and discuss my book, the award, and what it meant to me.

I wrote about this experience here, but let me just add that this was an important event for me as an author. It was not only my first book award for This is How We Grow, but it was my first on-camera interview. I never get nervous to speak, even to large crowds, but I admit, I was a little nervous for this interview. Since I knew I’d be getting a copy to use for forever, I wanted it to be great, and you know what? I think it is pretty great. I hope you think so too!

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Word of Mom Radio (For Moms, Business Women, and Entrepreneurs!)

Word of Mom Radio is an online radio show that seeks to empower “mompreneurs” and business women. I actually met Word of Mom founder, Dori DiCarlo on Twitter (hooray for social media!) and we immediately hit it off. After an hour long phone conversation, I sent her a copy of my book, which she quickly read. She tweeted me, “Honestly it is one of the best books I have read in a long time…I rarely annotate books and can’t help myself with yours.” I was honored, and even more honored to be a guest on Dori’s show to discuss my book and how I juggle six children, a husband and home, a psychology practice, and now full-time work as an author!

The show is titled, “Award Winning Author Dr. Christina Hibbert on the Mompreneur Model Show” and you can download and listen to the podcast of the show at this link!

 

 

Segullah & Julie de Azevedo Hanks Blogs (For LDS, Faith-Based, and Spiritual Insights!)

Last week I was thrilled to be featured in two different posts on Segullah.org. The first was a This Is How We Grow book

I love this pic of Julie Hanks and me, expressing our many emotional sides at a women's conference.

I love this pic of Julie Hanks and me, expressing our many emotional sides at a women’s conference.

review, by editor Shelah Miner, and the second was an interview Shelah did with me. Segullah runs a journal and blog, its mission being “to encourage literary and artistic talent, provoke thought and promote greater understanding and faith among Latter-day Saint women.” It’s no secret I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, or “a Mormon,” as many people call us. I thoroughly enjoyed this interview with Segullah because it allowed me to share my experiences with achieving my dream of becoming an author, how I manage to write with six kids needing me all the time, and also to share some of my faith-building experiences I’ve had along my journey so far. You can check out the interview here: Faces of Latter-Day Saint Women: A Conversation with Author & Psychologist Dr. Christina Hibbert.

In a similar vein, I was honored to be interviewed by my good friend, Julie de Azevedo Hanks, last November when This is How We Grow was released. Julie is a well-known self and relationship expert, media personality, and singer-songwriter, and we’ve known each other for almost 8 years now. I loved Julie’s interview because she knows me. She knows what to ask and how to ask it, and again, I can also share my faith experiences with her since she is a member of the LDS faith as well. Check out Julie’s article, “Q & A with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Author of This is How We Grow,” here.

 

 

Postpartum Progress, Ivy’s PPD Blog, & Birthtouch (For Pregnant and Postpartum Moms, Dads, and Families!) 

Finally, I want to share some interviews and guest posts I did a few months back that center around the theme of “Postpartum Depression/Anxiety“. As a four-time survivor of PPD, I know a thing or two about how challenging it can be to feel well after a new baby comes, and especially how challenging it can be to feel well again. But as a clinical psychologist and expert in pregnancy and postpartum mood/anxiety disorders, I also know 1) you are not alone, 2) you will be well, and 3) with help, you will be well (PSI’s universal message). I am grateful for every opportunity I’m given to help pregnant and postpartum women realize these things.

It’s important for pregnant and postpartum women to realize they’re not the only ones feeling this way, and I loved the following three interviews/ guest posts for this very reason. I hope you’ll check them out and share with any pregnant/postpartum women and families you know:

Ivy’s PPD Blog: Interview with Dr. Christina Hibbert, Author of This Is How We Grow

Postpartum Progress Blog: Pregnancy & Postpartum Loss, Grief, & Family Healing, Part 1 & How to Cope with and Treat Perinatal Loss, Part 2

Birthtouch Blog: Interview & Book Review, This is How We Grow by Dr. Christina Hibbert

 

 

Do you enjoy learning about other people’s real lives as much as I do? In what ways did you most connect to one or more of these interviews? What do we have in common? I’d love to get to know you, too, so please leave a comment for me, below!

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com.
     
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Related Articles/Posts:

This Is How We Grow wins an IPPY Award in NYC & is one of Aspire Magazine’s “Top 10 Inspirational Books!

When Life Hands You Lemons, Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs 

Life: The Battle & The Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth)

Family Summer Vacation, & Personal Growth? 10 Things I Learned in an RV with my Family of 8 for 8 Days

Summer Reading & Personal Growth: Dr. Hibbert’s Top 10 Personal Growth Books

Understanding & Coping with Loss & Trauma

PPD & Motherhood Mental Health: Self-Care & Letting Help In–The 2 Most Important Things

This is How We Grow:” Understanding the Seasons of Personal Growth

Join my Free, Online “This Is How We Grow” Personal Growth Group!

In Memory of my Sister, on the 5th Anniversary of her Death

What I’ve Learned about Personal Growth from a Decade of Yearly Themes

Weather the Storms Together: 4 Ways to Strengthen Families in Times of Stress

The 3 Layers of Self-Care

Discovering Self-Worth: Why is it So Hard to Love Ourselves?

Family Summer Vacation, & Personal Growth?: 10 Things I Learned in an RV w/my Family of 8 for 8 Days

Family Vacation & Personal Growth: 10 Things I Learned in an RV w/my Family of 8 for 8 Days; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #personalgrowth #TIHWG #motherhood #parenting #mentalhealth

Family Vacation & Personal Growth: 10 Things I Learned in an RV w/my Family of 8 for 8 Days; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #personalgrowth #TIHWG #motherhood #parenting #mentalhealthI knew it would be an adventure—driving over 2,000 miles in an RV, with my husband and our six kids, for 8 days, from Flagstaff, AZ to Las Vegas, to Utah to Idaho, to Montana to Yellowstone National Park, to Jackson, Wyoming and back. We’d been wanting to do this trip for years, and since my oldest had just graduated from high school (I still can’t believe I have a college student!), it was now or never.

We weren’t oblivious, however. My husband, OJ, and I both knew that being together, 24/7, in very tight quarters could be disastrous! “It will be memorable,” we laughed to each other. “Either it will be so bad we’ll never forget, or it will be so good.” I figured, based on our history, the former would be the case. I was pleasantly surprised to be wrong.

 

 

From Surviving to Thriving on Family Vacation

I had no idea how incredible this vacation would be—the scenery of Yellowstone, yes, but also the experience with my family. We’d had a rough few months going into it. We’d all been struggling through grief, especially me, yet on this crazy trip I felt better than I had in months. It made me wonder why.

On our drive home, I pulled out a notebook and began to write. I wanted to figure out why this trip, which had such potential to go horribly wrong, had gone so well. It made me wonder if I could take some lessons home with me to my “real life” and apply them. It gave me hope I might be able to bring this same peace, love, and joy I’d found, back home into my ordinary days.

 

 

10 Ways our Family Vacation Inspired my Personal Growth

(& how it can inspire yours, too!)

Not only did I have a really fun time on our family vacation; I grew. I didn’t intend to grow, it just happened.  Now, I hope to take what I learned on our trip and put it into practice in my everyday life.

So, here are 10 unexpected things I learned on this unexpected vacation, and thus 10 lessons I’m working to implement in my daily life now. I hope, in sharing them, you might feel inspired to do the same.

 

1) It forced me to live in the now. Kids have a way of doing that. It’s one thing I’ve always appreciated about being a mom of 6: I don’t have time to get too stuck in my head, because my kids are always pulling me back to the here and now. And being together all the time on this trip definitely left me with only “now.” Yes, at times it drove me nuts, constantly hearing, “Mom, mom,” but more so it was good for me. Also, Yellowstone is such an incredible place, with so much wildlife and beauty, you have to focus as you drive or you might miss something really good—like this bear by the side of the road or this incredible waterfall and river, as seen from “Artist’s Point” at “The Little Grand Canyon of Yellowstone.”

Family Vacation & Personal Growth? www.DrChristinaHibbert.comFamily Vacation, & Personal Growth? www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2) Traveling, for me, I realized, is a state of “flow,” and that means it helps me forget the unpleasantries of life. Yes, traveling with kids is crazy, and when they were younger it usually just pushed me over the edge of insanity. But I LOVE to travel, and now that they’re older, I love showing my kids the world, too. I was reading, “Flow,” by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, on this trip and I realized, for me, traveling is a state of “flow,” or can be. This quote explains what I mean, “One of the most frequently mentioned dimensions of the flow experience is that, while it lasts, one is able to forget all the unpleasant aspects of life…Enjoyable activities require a complete focusing of attention on the task at hand–thus leaving no room in the mind for irrelevant information.” (p. 58) Like the impressive river in that photo, above, I love  traveling; love being in flow.

 

3) Time with no electronics for a week? Priceless. I really don’t need to be plugged in all the time. I’m much more relaxed, much happier when I’m not. It also forced my four teenaged sons and two young, wannabe-teenaged daughters off their phones, tablets, and gaming devices. They had to spend all day playing and interacting with each other, and with us! Cards, Frisbee, football, bike-riding, I loved hearing them laugh together. Incredibly healing for all of us after we’ve had such a tough past few months.

Summer Family Vacation & Personal Growth; www.DrchristinaHibbert.com Summer Family Vacation & Personal Growth? www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4) I slept more soundly. Driving, moving, exploring all day, does wonders for a terrible sleeper like me. Even with 8 of us in a small, enclosed space, we all zonked out at the end of the day. It may have been late, and I may not have actually slept more hours than I usually do, but I definitely slept more deeply (with the help of earplugs, of course). The balance between activity and rest is crucial to sleep, and it makes me want to get out and explore more in my real life, too.

 

5) Seeing the beauty of the world brings out our own beauty. It reminds me of how vast and grand the world is and how tiny and shrinking my head. It reminds me how much I LOVE nature, and how amazing I feel when immersed in it. When I get out of my tiny head and just experience the beauty, I feel more beautiful, joyful, loving. How can you not, when you see things like this all day…

One of the most beautiful calderas (hot springs) we saw.

One of the most beautiful calderas (hot springs) we saw.

The Grand Tetons. Truly majestic.

The Grand Tetons. Truly majestic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6) It reminded me of my love for music, especially music with my family. Hearing my boys play guitar and laugh while “jamming” together, and seeing my girls do fireside song and dance performances was heavenly. It relaxes me. It also showed me how badly I need to get practicing guitar and song-writing again. It lights me up.

 

7) It made me appreciate my husband so much more. On the first day, OJ woke up at 5:30 (after a very late night Summer family Vacation & Personal Growth; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com before) and drove us from southern Utah to Montana while we all slept in. It was the best sleep in I’ve had in ages, with the rocking of the moving motor home! I woke up thinking, “What a guy.” I told him so. It made me really appreciate how hard he works for our happiness. Sure, we had our fighting moments (because, when traveling, let’s face it—things can get pretty stressful pretty quickly!), but there’s nothing like seeing the world with the one you adore, who adores you right back. (Read 17 Secrets for Making Marriage Work)

 

8) I really am happier with less. I’ve been craving simplicity for, well, forever. Now, I’m motivated to do something about it. Less stuff. Less saying yes to things that deplete me. More saying “yes” to living and being and loving. (Read Daily Mindfulness: 6 Ways to Put More Being into what You’re Doing)

 

9) Teaching my kids about and showing them the world is the best education—for them and me. I love showing them new places and new ways of seeing things. I also love hearing their perspectives on things as we do. I learn just as much, if not more, from them as they do from me.

 

10) Family vacations are an excellent lesson in patience and love.  Yes, I had to continually practice patience, do my deep breathing, etc, and I did lose it with the kids sometimes (namely late at night when they were fighting and I was beyond tired). But, I also held it together so many more times. I taught my daughter how to deep breathe and start journaling, too, to help her deal with the stress of her siblings. I guess we were all learning patience and greater love. Each kid had a ‘job’ each day—a job to become more patient and loving. “Your job is to look for the good and say it out loud today.” “Your job is to look around and notice what others need and not just what you want, and then to help them.” “Your job is to be more sharing with your things.” “Yours is to take 10 deep breaths each time you’re feeling too stressed and tired, and to pray when you need extra help.” (That was mine most of the time.)

 

How Family Vacation can Translate into Greater Love, Joy & Peace at Home

The big Question, then, after coming home and processing this experience, was this: “Why was I so much “better,” or as

Our Yellowstone campsite was amazing. Overlooking a grassy field that led to Lake Yellowstone, we hung a hammock off in the trees. I spent as much time here as I could. Ahh...peace.

Our Yellowstone campsite was amazing. Overlooking a grassy field that led to Lake Yellowstone, we hung a hammock off in the trees. I spent as much time here as I could. I came home and hung the hammock on our back deck. Ahh…peace.

OJ said, “put together,” in this crazy situation, versus at home?” And, more importantly, “Can’t I choose to be this way all the time?”

I’m sure going to try. I figure, what good is all this personal growth I achieved on vacation if I can’t somehow bring it home? I can choose to live in the now each day, to find my “flow” in what I do, or seek it when it’s missing. I can turn off the electronics, spend more quality time with my family, and notice more of the great beauty around me; chances are, I’ll sleep more soundly. I can clear the clutter–both mentally and physically and simplify my schedule and mind. I can focus on love and patience, and actively seek the good in my husband and children. I can sing more and develop my talents, and I can share them with my kids–another great way to learn from one another.

I can choose to follow my vacation rule, “No complaining.” What’s the point of complaining anyway? Instead, I can choose to bring that feel of this family vacation home every day. I can choose to continually grow.

And so can you.

 

What have you learned from family vacations? What surprises have you found that you’d like to share? We’d love to hear them, so please leave a comment, below!

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com.
     

 
 
 

Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

FREE. Online. Growth. What more could you ask for?

 
 
 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

You may manage your subscription options from your profile.

 
 
 

Family Vacation & Personal Growth: 10 Things I Learned in an RV w/my Family of 8 for 8 Days; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #personalgrowth #TIHWG #motherhood #parenting #mentalhealth

 
 
 

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Related Articles/Posts:

This Is How We Grow wins an IPPY Award in NYC & is one of Aspire Magazine’s “Top 10 Inspirational Books!

When Life Hands You Lemons, Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs 

Life: The Battle & The Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth)

Understanding & Coping with Loss & Trauma

PPD & Motherhood Mental Health: Self-Care & Letting Help In–The 2 Most Important Things

This is How We Grow:” Understanding the Seasons of Personal Growth

Join my Free, Online “This Is How We Grow” Personal Growth Group!

In Memory of my Sister, on the 5th Anniversary of her Death

What I’ve Learned about Personal Growth from a Decade of Yearly Themes

Weather the Storms Together: 4 Ways to Strengthen Families in Times of Stress

The 3 Layers of Self-Care

Discovering Self-Worth: Why is it So Hard to Love Ourselves?

Summer Reading & Personal Growth: Dr. Hibbert’s Top 10 Books

Dr. Christina Hibbert's "Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #summer #books

Dr. Christina Hibbert's "Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #summer #books

I love to read. I love learning, and I find there’s no better way to learn than by devouring book after book.

 

Summer Reading 

I especially love to read in the summer. My kids are all home, and with six of them, four of whom are teenagers, summers can be a little hectic. As I’ve said before, I feel like a lady-in-waiting in summer, biding my time waiting for the next child to come looking for a ride, an activity, a listening ear, or emotional support. As I wrote in This is How We Grow, “I read all summer long because: 1) I love learning, and 2) it is one activity I can do and not feel frustrated when I’m interrupted, because with six children home all day, that is about the only thing I can count on–interruption.” (p. 335)

 

I also love getting book ideas from friends and colleagues. I always post on my Facebook page at the beginning of summer, asking for summer reading suggestions, and I’d love to hear your suggestions in the comments, below.

 

Personal Growth Books & Summer Reading

Now, it’s time for me to give back and offer a few suggestions of my own. This first list (as I assume there will be more to follow) consists of some of my very favorite books of all time–those I read years ago, and those I have recently read. It’s hard to pick my absolute favorites because they’re all so different, but I started by going to my Goodreads reviews (join me on Goodreads for more ideas!) and listing those to which I gave 5 stars.

 

Understand, I only give 5 stars to books I absolutely LOVE. My standard rating is 3 stars for a book I like. 4 stars means it was better than average. But 5 stars means, for whatever reason, it sang to me. (Yes, I admit I’ve given 5 star ratings to friends’ books even if I would normally have given them less, but for the most part I’m pretty consistent.)

 

Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books

Below are ten of my top summer readings pics. I am a huge non-fiction reader, and I also love a good novel to help me escape. I’ve included both here. Fiction or non-fiction, all of them in some way inspired my own personal growth.  I hope one (or more) gets you reading this summer and helps you “grow,” too!

 

1) Wonder, R.J. Palacio. It’s no wonder I loved this story. It tells of a fifth grade boy born with a disfigured face who is Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books, w/Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #bookssimply trying to make his way in this crazy world. Told from the perspective of himself, his sister, parents, and friends, this easy-to-read book is a perfect glimpse into how we treat others and the perfect motivation to do a little bit better. A great family read–I recommended it to my own kids and even my husband. Your family will love it, too.

 

2) The Invention of Wings, Sue Monk KiddThis is one of my new all-time favorite books. Based on the real life story of two sisters who changed the abolition and women’s movements, this book is masterfully written and leaves you feeling inspired to make a difference in your world, too.

 

3) Leadership and Self-Deception, Arbinger Institute. This book changed my life. Really. It changed how I see myself in relation to those in my life, and it became a staple in what I teach others to do as a psychologist. Written in a story format, this book takes important, complex principles and delivers them in an easy-to-read format. After you read this, you might want to move on to one of my all-time favorite books, Bonds that Make Us Free, by C. Terry Warner (my former BYU professor!). It’s a much deeper read, so take your time if you read it. I’ve read, highlighted, and taken notes three times, and even taught a three-part book club on it!Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #books #summer

 

4) The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer, New Harbinger Publications. This NY Times bestseller is one of my all-time favorites, too. Mr. Singer writes in a simple way that helps readers understand how to keep our hearts open even when they want to keep closing. I even used this book for an entire year of  my in-person Personal Growth Group (you can join my online group here.). It’s also pretty cool this book was published by my publisher for my forthcoming book on Self-Esteem After a Breakup, New Harbinger Publications! (Coming March 2015!)

 

5) The Alchemist, Paulo Coehlo. I’ve also read this three times. I love mystical feel of the story, and I especially love how it pricks my heart and makes me wonder what I was sent to this earth to do, too.

 

6) Gift from the Sea, Anne Morrow Lindbergh. I have read this many times, and there’s nothing like reading it in the summer. This one will especially resonate with mothers of all ages and stages. It was a crucial part of me learning, yearsDr. Christina Hibbert's Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #summer #books ago, of the necessity of time away, alone, in motherhood. Hopefully, it can do the same for you.

 

7) The Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck. I didn’t read this classic book until just a few years ago, but once I did, whew! I underlined almost all of it. Dr. Peck writes beautifully about love and relationships and healing, and choosing to grow, and we all know I’m all about choosing to grow!

 

8) Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl. I read this in high school for the first time, and from that point on whenever asked “What is your favorite book?” I would say, “Man’s Search for Meaning.” Since then, I’ve read it many more times and quote from it often. The true story of how Dr. Frankl, a psychiatrist, survived a Nazi concentration camp, if you haven’t yet read it, it needs to be on your “must read” list, for sure.

Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #books #parenting

9) Have a New Kid by Friday, Dr. Kevin Leman. If you’re looking for a great parenting book, this is one of my favorites. Easy to understand, quick to grasp, this book will give you specific strategies you can implement immediately to help your children learn about natural consequences and help you feel less stressed. A great tool for summers when kids are home driving you crazy!

 

10) Daughter of the Forest Juliet Marillier (The first in the Sevenwaters series.) I have to add this book, because it is one of my favorite novels, and it is a great read if you’re looking for a little escape. Set in another world in another time, it tells the tale of one brave young woman and her seven brothers, but really it tells of family love. I enjoy reading clean books, and this has only one scene that’s painful to read (but necessary to the story). The rest of the story left me wanting more and feeling an immense increase of love for my own family. (I’ve also read the next two in the series and enjoyed them as well, but this is my favorite.)

IPPY Award Winner & Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow. "Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #books

Bonus: For pure fun–If you’re a Jane Austen fan (like I am) and looking for a clean romance to help you escape into summer, I recommend Edenbrooke, by Julianne Donaldson. It was one of my favorite summer reads last year. Pure fun. And fun is a very important part of personal growth!

 

 

**Final Note: While I definitely recommend my own book, IPPY-Award Winner,  This is How We Grow, as a great summer read that is guaranteed to inspire you to grow, I cannot review my own book. There are plenty of detailed reviews on Amazon from over 90 readers, however, so check them out, and see what you think!

 

 

Leave a comment!

What books do you recommend for a good summer read? What books have helped you grow the most? Have you read and of the books on my list? If so, what are your reviews? I’d love to hear your summer reading suggestions, so please leave me a comment, below!

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com.

    

 
 
 

Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

FREE. Online. Growth. What more could you ask for?

 
 
 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

You may manage your subscription options from your profile.

 
 
 

Dr. Christina Hibbert's "Top 10 Summer Reading & Personal Growth Books" www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #summer #books

Let’s Connect…

“Like” my Facebook pages (Dr. Christina HibbertThis Is How We Grow) and follow me on Twitter,Pinterest, & Instagram!

 
 
 
 
 
 

Related Articles/Posts:

This Is How We Grow wins an IPPY Award in NYC & is one of Aspire Magazine’s “Top 10 Inspirational Books!

When Life Hands You Lemons, Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs 

Life: The Battle & The Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth)

Understanding & Coping with Loss & Trauma

PPD & Motherhood Mental Health: Self-Care & Letting Help In–The 2 Most Important Things

This is How We Grow:” Understanding the Seasons of Personal Growth

Join my Free, Online “This Is How We Grow” Personal Growth Group!

In Memory of my Sister, on the 5th Anniversary of her Death

What I’ve Learned about Personal Growth from a Decade of Yearly Themes

Weather the Storms Together: 4 Ways to Strengthen Families in Times of Stress

The 3 Layers of Self-Care

Discovering Self-Worth: Why is it So Hard to Love Ourselves?

Siblings & Grief: 10 Things Everyone Should Know

How to Feel Self-Worth: “The Pyramid of Self-Worth” (& video)

Learning Self-Love: 5 Tricks for Treating Yourself More Kindly

16 Things I’d Like My Postpartum Self to Know, 16 Years & 6 Kids Later (PSI Blog Hop)

Mom Mental Health (& Happiness): The Importance of Alone Time

Mom Mental Health: HOW to Get Alone Time (25+ Strategies) (& video)

Mother’s Day & “Mommy Fails”: 3 Messages All Moms Need to Hear

“Perfect?” or “Fake?” 8 Truths about Perfectionism, & 8 Truths to Cure It

“This Is How We Grow” Personal Growth Tools: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs

When Life Hands You Lemons...Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #TIHWG #personalgrowth #MH

  
When Life Hands You Lemons...Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #TIHWG #personalgrowth #MH

It’s no secret life has handed me some lemons–again. I wrote about it a week ago; once again, I’m in a season of loss and grief.

 

Being here again makes me wonder, “When life hands me lemons, do I really want to make lemonade? Is there something better waiting for me than a satisfying sip of a sugary drink?” It makes me stop and reevaluate.

 
 

Life Trials and Transitions: The Lemons
Some times of life naturally lead to self-reflection and evaluation. Transitions like the beginning of a school year, a birthday (especially a big one), New Year’s Day, and the beginning of summer always make me stop and reevaluate.

 

Then, there are life trials. These “lemons” life hands us provide another crucial time to stop and reevaluate. Lately, my lemons have been re-experiencing intense loss and grief. For others, it may be an episode of depression, a breakup or divorce, pregnancy or postpartum, a wayward child, or plain and simple life stress.

 

Like the seasons, life keeps changing, and as it does we must continually ask, “Am I going to go through this change, or can I choose to grow through this change?” “Like fall fades to winter and spring blooms to summer, we can choose to grow through [all] the seasons of life.” (This Is How We Grow, p. 5)

  

Reevaluating the Lemons of Life

The truth is, when life hands us lemons it might not always be best to make lemonade. Maybe it’s better to plant the lemon seeds and grow our own lemon tree so we can make lemonade any time we desire for everyone we know. Instead of jumping in and doing the easy or expected thing, perhaps we need to stop and reevaluate what is actually best for us at each phase and season of life.

 

That’s one great thing about hardships and change—they force us to slow down and pay attention. When we listen to our bodies, minds, experiences, life lessons, we learn, we grow, and eventually, up better than we could have dreamed.

  

Four Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs
How do we stop and reevaluate? First, stop. Literally sit quietly and breathe. Then, follow these four steps and repeat When Life Hands you Lemons...Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #ThisIsHowWeGrowoften. As Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Whatever season, transition, or hardship you’re in, take the time to examine life, where you are, and where you’re headed. It’s the surest way to get you where you really want to be.

 

1) Ask, “Where am I right now?” First, we must get real about where we are. This may involve accepting you’re not where you want to be. It may involve letting yourself feel things you’ve been trying not to feel. For me, this has involved admitting I’m back in the middle of grief, and picking up the phone to set up an appointment with my psychologist; it’s involved admitting I cannot do this alone. Be willing to see where you are. Gently open your eyes, and then honestly look at your life, the people in it, and where you seem to be headed.

 

2) Ask, “Where do I desire to be?” It is good to desire. It’s an important step in the process of overcoming, becoming, and flourishing. Close your eyes and envision where you would like to be. You may see yourself healthy and smiling, with relationships that thrive, or discovering your true self and fulfilling your life’s mission and purpose. At this point, I envision feeling grief-free, whole, healthy, and full of joy again; I imagine the same for my children.

Dream about all the blessings you desire to have one day. Then, write about what you see. Make it clear and concrete, and revisit your desires often. It is in reevaluating our desires that we course correct to eventually arrive at who, how, and where we want to be. (More on this, read “Create the Life You Desire” Part 1 & Part 2)

 

3) Ask, “What do I need?” This question has been constantly on my mind. I know I’m burned out, and I know something has to change. But what, and how? The only way to answer is to first figure out what I need. What do I mean by “needs?” I mean, the things we absolutely must have right now if we want any shot of fulfilling those desires we envision.

I know it can be hard for many of us to admit we have needs, or to not feel guilty about meeting them. So, let me just When Life Hands You Lemons...Stop & Reevaluate: 4 Steps to Reevaluate Life & Fearlessly Meet Your Needs; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #ThisIsHowWeGrow #TIHWGsay it loud and clear: You have needs because you actually NEED these things. It’s not a question of worthiness; it’s a matter of necessity. It’s a matter of life or death, wellness or illness, joy or despair. For me, right now, I need sleep. I need space in which I can ponder, learn, and heal. I need to focus on my family; I need to let us have fun together, create memories, and recharge. Knowing my needs is the first step in getting them met. (More on How to Get Needs Met here.)

 

4) Fearlessly meet your needs. If you know what you absolutely need, then you absolutely need to get those needs met. It’s not an option to keep saying, “I don’t really need this,” or “it can wait,” or “Well, no one else seems to think I need this, so I must be wrong.” No. Trust me. We cannot afford to fail in meeting our needs. The cost is too high. My dear friend recently lost her life to depression because she was not able to acknowledge her needs and let help in.

We cannot keep putting off our needs. We must demand they be met. We must breathe, trust ourselves, then fearlessly say “No” when we must, “Yes” when we must, and keep repeating, “I need your help,” until we get our needs met. I know it’s not easy, but we mustn’t give up. (More on How to Meet Needs: 4 Tips for Asking & Receiving) (More on How to Not Let Fear Get the Better of You!

 
 
Stop…TODAY…and Reevaluate.

That’s how we get to where we want to be in life. That’s how we overcome life’s struggles, become our highest self, and flourish in joy and love. Stop today and reevaluate what you want to do with your lemons. Learn from the bitter in life, and you will one day know the sweet.

 

 

 

What makes you stop and reevaluate life? What tools help you fearlessly meet your needs? Share with us by leaving a comment, below!

 

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
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Life: The Battle & The Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth)

Life: The Battle and the Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth) www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

Life: The Battle & The Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth) www.DrChristinaHibbert.comLife. It sure can be demanding. It sure can be beautiful. It’s a paradox, isn’t it? As I’ve said before, we can learn to “live in the paradox;” it’s how we grow (This is How We Grow, p. 59). It’s where I’m living now.

 

The Paradox of Life

I’m reminded of the popular theme song from one of my favorite childhood TV shows, “You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have…”—life. Life doesn’t ebb and flow in perfect crests and swells like the ocean. It comes crashing like a thunderstorm on a sunny day—and is just as beautiful. We finally overcome life’s challenges only to find another spell of trouble upon us. We experience pain as, simultaneously, miracles abound.

 

The past weeks have been such for me—the good, the bad, the ugly…and the beautiful. I’ve been out of touch online and here on my blog, because once again, life has been happening, and when life happens we need to show up and live it.

 

The Battle and The Beauty

On April 28th, my dear friend took her life as a result of severe depression. She’d left her daughter with me that day, and my family was there for every minute of her story unfolding. She was a wonderful mother and friend and person. A light in every room she entered. She was a second mother to my children. Her three children have been best friends with mine for ten years; I’ve been a “second mom” to them. Now, I really am.

 

Those who’ve read This is How We Grow, those who know my story, my family’s story, know how close to home this hits for us. It’s been extremely hard, as grief always is. Just as we were finally finding our footing in “normal” life, the heartache has returned—the pain of once more seeing my children in pain as they grieve their “second mom,” of seeing my friend’s children and husband grieve their mother and wife. The sorrow of our community at this tragedy, and how we were hit with a second tragedy just two weeks later, as a young man at our kids’ same school took his life, too.

 

Yet I have experienced the beauty. The hope of family and community as we have banded together in support and love for the friends we have lost, for their families, and for each other. The outpouring of concern and kindness and generosity, not only for the families in grief, but for my own children, for me, and for others who may be suffering.

 

May is always a tough month, as many parents will attest. Every project, activity, performance, banquet, ceremony happens in May. We call it May-hem, and it always is—this year even more so. It was beautiful, however, to sit with my husband and our friend’s husband and watch our two daughters, BFFs, emcee the school talent show. There has been beauty in going to plays and recitals and receiving hugs, in feeling so much love as a community. There has been beauty in watching us all work to move on.

 

At the same time, my second book manuscript was due to my publisher. I tried for an extension since my mind was mush, but was "This Is How We Grow" wins an IPPY Award. LIFE: The Battle & The Beauty www.DrChristinaHibbert.comlovingly told it was not possible. This was the one deadline in the contract that was set in stone. Every day for the past month, I awoke, tended to my family and my new “family” (my friend’s), then shoved the grief aside and forced my brain to focus as I wrote. I made my deadline a day early. (The Breakup Breakthrough, with New Harbinger Publications, will be released March 2015.)

 

In the midst of everything, I had the opportunity to travel to Sacramento, to give a keynote address for the California Maternal Mental Health Collaborative and speak the next day at the CA Maternal Wellness Summit. May was Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, and I was fueled by my friend’s death as well as the death of my own sister over six years ago, to speak out and encourage the work we are doing to strengthen and help mothers. No woman, mother, person should ever have to feel so desperate, so alone. We must work diligently to help one another, to care for each other, and to let help in when we need it.

 

That was the day I learned my memoir, This Is How We Grow, my very first book, had won an Independent Publisher Book Award, an IPPY. I flew to New York last week and was full of gratitude as I received the medal. (More on that here.) The day I returned from New York was the last day of school for my girls, the next day was the last day for my boys, and the next day, last Saturday, my firstborn son, Braxton, graduated from high school.

 

Now, here I am. The whirlwind of May-hem has abated. My first “baby” has graduated (I’m still emotional about that). Summer is Graduation day! Life: The Battle & The Beauty (Living the Paradox of Personal Growth) www.DrChristinaHibbert.comupon us once more (I’m always conflicted when summer begins and know I need a summer sanity plan). I’m back in counseling, once again doing the familiar work of grief and trauma, and I’m trying to continue to practice what I preach—to let myself be in the season I’m in. I need a moment to figure out just which season, or rather, seasons that would be. I haven’t had a moment yet.

 

Perhaps that’s why I’m taking this moment. Perhaps that’s why I’m writing all this out. I feel…so many things. Hopeful, and sad, and grateful, and exhausted, and loved, and alone, and full of love and loving for one and all. I am seeking peace amidst the whirlwind—and finding it in small moments like this one.

 

Living the Paradox of Personal Growth

Yes, life is a paradox. As I’ve said before, “Paradox is part of the cyclical nature of things. As we die, so are we born. As we love, so are we left. As we do, so are we undone. Sometimes these cycles feel against nature. But we can choose to let it be…Paradox is the ultimate soil for personal growth” (This is How We Grow, p. 60).

 

You know I believe in growing. That’s my hope as I fall back into the Fall and Winter seasons of growth once more—that I may continue to feel the Spring and Summer. That I may continue to embrace life, the battle and the beauty.

 

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com.

    

 
 
 
 

Join Dr. Hibbert's "This Is How We Grow" Personal Growth Group! FREE. Online. Growth. www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

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Spring-Cleaning for the Soul: 18 Ways to be Happy, Healthy, & Sane

Spring-Cleaning for the Soul: 18 Ways to be Healthy, Happy, & Sane; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #happiness #mentalhealth #health

Spring-Cleaning for the Soul: 18 Ways to be Healthy, Happy, & Sane; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #happiness #mentalhealth #healthMy house got pretty out of order last year while I was busy writing and publishing This is How We Grow. For weeks this winter, I would walk around analyzing and listing all that needed to be done. Recently, I finally jumped in—brutally tossing piles of “stuff” we’ve accumulated over the past months (and with 8 people in my home, it’s a lot of stuff). I’m starting to re-paint our house, and we’ve been putting our kids to work raking pine needles outside. It feels good to get my home in order once again.

 

Spring-Cleaning for the Soul

Think about what’s involved in spring cleaning a home. First, you take stock of the areas that need a little cleaning out or fixing up—inside and out—and prepare your plan of attack. Next, you start the purge—decluttering, tossing, getting rid of all the “stuff” you no longer need. Finally, you create—organization, order, and beauty.

The same principles apply to cleaning your internal space. Here are 18 ways to spring-clean your body, mind, and yes, your soul.

 

18 Ways to Be Healthy, Happy, & Sane!

 

Step 1: Take Stock & Prepare

1)   Ponder “What matters most.” Before you begin your soul cleaning, it’s important to know what you’re looking for. What matters most to you? Is it family? Relationships? Career? Faith? In a journal or notebook, list your “top 5” most important things. It’s much easier to know what kind of soul-cleaning you need to do if you first know what matters most. (Read What Matters Most)

2)   Analyze where you currently are. Examine at all “realms”—your physical, emotional, mental/intellectual, spiritual, and social sides. Which areas need a little “tidying up?” Grab your journal, notebook, or a piece of paper, and list it all.

3)   Set small goals. Small goals are a great way to get your soul-cleaning done. Even 10-15 focused minutes a day in any or each of the above “realms” can add up to a big difference down the road. For more on how to set goals you’ll actually keep, read Goal-Setting.

4)   Prepare to take action. Preparing for the changes you want to make is important to achieving your goals. What do you need to do for your goals to work? Do you need to investigate a new nutritional plan? Or perhaps you need to learn a couple parenting strategies so you can regain a little order with your kids? Prepare, and you’re much more likely to succeed. (Read How to Make Lasting Change)

 

Step 2: Purge and Declutter

5)   Cut the physical clutter. Perhaps you need to purge the sugary treats from your kitchen, or perhaps you need to Spring-Cleaning for the Soul: 18 Ways to Be Happy, Healthy, & Sane; www.DrChristinaHibbert.comcut the excuses for why you don’t exercise. What is blocking you from being your best physical self? Is it poor sleep, nutrition, exercise, or stress? Once you see the mess, work to clean out whatever’s causing it. (Read Sleep Better, Cope Better, & Get Mentally & Physically FITT: How to Create an Exercise Program that Works)

6)   Cut the mental and emotional clutter. What issues are bothering you? Do you have unresolved grief, or a relationship problem? Are you constantly feeling overwhelmed and stressed? Whatever is clouding your mind, work it through and let it go. You might consider seeking help from a therapist for this one, or joining my This Is How We Grow Personal Growth Group. (Read Thought Management: Part 1, M5 Steps to a Clutter-Free Mind (& Life!, & Stress  Management: 15 Proven ways to Stress Less and Smile More)

7)   Cut the social clutter. Are there people in your life who are unhealthy for you? If you struggle with negative or unhealthy people in your life, it’s time to purge the clutter. You can still have a relationship, but either let it be one that inspires and uplifts you, or else choose to spend less time in that relationship. (Read the ABC’s of Making and Keeping Friends)

8)   Cut the distractions. Do you spend too much time on social media, TV, or the internet? If so, purge the distractions. It’s hard to feel connected spiritually, and it’s hard to really focus on what matters most if you’re always tuning out.

9)   Purge a “bad habit” or two. Being inside so much during cold winters can bring bad habits come spring. Perhaps you’ve been exercising less, sleeping in too late, or watching more TV because you’ve been inside so much. Whatever the case, pick one “bad habit,” and work to purge it. Spring is the season when the cold—and excuses—melt away. (Read Understanding the Seasons of Personal Growth)

10) De-clutter your “To-Do” list. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all you have to do each day, then try this. Next to each item on your list, write either an “A” (absolutely must do today), “B” (really should to do today), or “C” (would be nice to get done today). Then, cut all the “C’s”. And all the “B’s.” Simplify by focusing only on what matters most. (Then, if you happen to get a “B” or “C” done, bonus for you!)

 

Step 3: Create

11)  Create internal space. Without internal space, it’s hard to hear the whispers that guide and direct us in life. “By submitting, humbling ourselves, and actively listening to those whispers, we receive answers, and by obeyng those promptings we receive an ease and certainty about life.” (This is How We Grow, p. 389) Sit still and watch the world around you, practice meditation, mindfulness, or deep breathing. They’re all great ways to create internal space. (Read The Mind-Body-Spirit Connection)

Watch “How to Practice Deep Breathing—3-Minute Therapy” on my YouTube channel. Then, continue reading, below.

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12)  Create a vision and/or daily mantra. Now that you know what matters most, and you’ve cleared the clutter, what do you envision for yourself? Close your eyes and imagine the rest of today. Imagine the rest of this week. Imagine five years down the road. What do you see? Let it guide you to create the life you desire. Then, each morning, set your focus for the day by creating a daily mantra. Today, mine was, “May the Spirit fill my body, mind, and heart.” This helps me focus on what I want/need for today—peace and love for myself and my family. Your mantra could be anything, from a single word, to a favorite quote. (Read Create the Life You Desire)

13)  Create positive emotions. Don’t just wait to feel the good stuff. Seek it. Seek to put more feelings of love, gratitude, and joy into each and ever day. (Read Turn a Rainy Day Sunny: How to Overcome Feelings of Depression; 10 Ways to Practice Gratitude Today; 50 Ways to Love your Loved Ones; Beyond “Happiness”: 10 Ways to Increase Joy)

14) Create “quiet time” and solitude. We need time alone. Time to rest, relax, do what lights us up; time to think, feel, and process. Make space for some solitude in your life. Check in with how things are going. Get out a journal and write about it. Use your solitude to discover deeper understanding. Use it to replenish and refill you. (Read Mom Mental Health: The Importance of Alone Time)

15) Create connection and memories. In spring, the days are lighter, warmer, and longer, so use that extra timeSpring-Cleaning for the Soul: 18 Ways to be Healthy, Happy, & Sane; www.DrChristinaHIbbert.com wisely. Reconnect with loved ones. Focus on strengthening important relationships. Have fun. Play together. Laugh. Live and enjoy your life with those you love. (Read 9 Ways to Build Intimacy, Improve Communication=Improve Relationships=Improve YOU)

16) Beautify your external surroundings. Yes, keeping your home clean and orderly can significantly impact your soul for the better. And, be careful about who you let in to your newly renovated “internal” space, too. Keep all your spaces clean and beautiful. 

17) Use your creativity often. Being creative is a spiritual process, one that comes from something greater than yourself. How do you like to express your creativity? Painting, writing, dancing, crafting? Use your creativity often. It keeps the soul sparkly and bright.

18) Focus on the good as you continue to refine the “could-be-better’s.” Forget perfection; it’s impossible anyway. Instead, focus on the “good.” Sure, plenty of things could be better, and they will be if you keep working on them. For now, however, see the great people, experiences, and moments right in front of you. Focusing on the good leads to a continually sane, healthy, and happy soul.

 

Do any of these suggestions, above, stand out for you? What tips do you have for “soul spring-cleaning?”Leave a comment, below, and share! 

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com!

 

Spring-Cleaning for the Soul: 18 Ways to be Healthy, Happy, & Sane; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #happiness #mentalhealth #health

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“Perfect?” or “Fake?”: 8 Myths about Perfectionism & 8 Truths to Cure It

"Perfect?" or "Fake?': 8 Myths about Perfectionism, & 8 Truths to Cure It; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

"Perfect?" or "Fake?': 8 Myths about Perfectionism, & 8 Truths to Cure It; www.DrChristinaHibbert.comAre you a perfectionist? Not sure? Well, do you…

  • Set unrealistically high goals/standards for yourself and/or others?
  • Judge yourself based on what you do/don’t accomplish?
  • Have a hard time stopping a project until it’s exactly how you want it?
  • Have trouble relaxing in even a small mess at home?
  • Feel like a “failure” if you can’t do things just right?

If you answered “yes” to one or more of these, you probably struggle with perfectionism.

 

“Perfect?” or “Fake?”: The Problem of Perfectionism

As a women’s mental health expert, I’ve helped my fair share of perfectionists. They don’t usually come in for help with perfectionism, though—more like help with underlying depression, anxiety, relationship issues, or overwhelming stress. Yes, these are all consequences of perfectionism, along with other things like poorer health, mental well-being, and overall life satisfaction.

That’s the problem with perfectionism–it isn’t what it appears to be at all. Perfectionism is a false exterior that covers up other, deeper issues. It’s a mask.

 

8 Myths about Perfectionism & 8 Truths to Cure It

Only once we identify perfectionistic behaviors and personality traits can we begin to do something about it. Let’s look at some of the myths of perfectionism, therefore, and some of the truths. Hopefully, these will open our eyes, educate us, and begin the perfectionism recovery process:

 

1) Myth: “Perfect” means “without faults;” with hard work and dedication, it’s possible to achieve this state of being.

Truth: “The Greek translation of the word ‘perfect’ actually means, ‘complete,’ ‘so good that nothing of the kind could be better,’ and ‘that which has attained its purpose.’” (This is How We Grow, p. 270) This is a much different ideal than striving to be “without faults.” Perfection isn’t possible; it isn’t real, and this makes perfectionism a real problem for many people, especially women. None of us is or ever will be “perfect,” or “without faults.” “Seeking to do right, to be complete, to live authentically, is the opposite of perfection.” (Ibid, p. 271) And doesn’t that sound so much better, anyway?

 

2) Myth: Perfectionists simply strive to be their very best."Perfect?" or "Fake?": 8 Myths of Perfectionism, & 8 Truths to Cure It; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

Truth: Perfectionism is actually the opposite of healthy striving. We tell ourselves it’s good to be a perfectionist; “I just like things to be the best they can be,” we say. But this isn’t true. In fact, research shows there’s a distinct difference between perfectionism and healthy striving:

  • Perfectionism is trying to reach an unrealistically high goal or standard—one that can never be reached.
  • Healthy striving is setting high but achievable goals/standards.
  • Perfectionism is seeing mistakes as evidence of unworthiness.
  • Healthy striving is understanding mistakes are part of the process, and being able to more easily get back up after setbacks/mistakes.

 

3) Myth: Perfectionism leads to success.

Truth: Research tells us perfectionism actually “hampers success. In fact, it’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life-paralysis.”[1]

 

4) Myth: It’s good to desire positive outcomes, and that’s what perfectionists do.

Truth: Perfectionism focuses only on the outcome, and it leaves no room to feel “positive” about it. Life isn’t about achieving a perfect outcome—whether it’s a dinner you’re making, keeping your house spotless, or the vision you have for how your life will turn out. It won’t turn out perfectly. Trust me. Life is about curves and twists and surprises. If we want to be healthy and happy, we must learn to recognize the beauty in the process of life, not the outcome.

 

5) Myth: Perfectionists are just natural leaders, and that’s why they like to be in “control” of things and people.

Truth: Perfectionists actually feel out of control. That’s why they so desperately need to control everything around them. Deep down, perfectionists are terrified of being seen as they really are—as a real individual with strengths and weaknesses. Unfortunately, much of life is out of our control, and no matter how hard you try to control life, it’s never going to work. That’s why perfectionism leads to stress and unhealthy habits/conditions: it’s a never-ending pursuit of a false ideal.

 

6) Myth: Perfectionists are confident and secure, that’s why they work so hard and always look and act “perfectly.”"Perfect?" or "Fake?": 8 Myths about Perfectionism & 8 Truths to Cure It; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

Truth: Perfectionism, at its core, is all about insecurity. When working with perfectionists, I always end up working on self-esteem and self-worth. That’s the true cure for perfectionism—discovering your true, innate worth, getting in touch with and learning to love the real you.

 

7) Myth: Perfectionism is a strength.

Truth: Perfectionism is a weakness, and at its worst, an illness. That’s why I used the word, ‘cure,’ above. Though there are certainly some benefits to perfectionism–like the motivation and drive to, say, stick with an exercise plan or achieve a big goal–perfectionism is all about working to achieve an unrealistic standard. It usually involves holding others to that same standard, driving everyone crazy (yourself included) in the process. Perfectionism is a mask for the underlying problem—not feeling like “enough.” Those who struggle with perfectionism feel unworthy of love and attention, so they seek it through what they do. But this is a recipe for overwhelm, stress, poor health, and yes, failure. Thus, in the end, perfectionism acts more as a weakness than a strength.

 

8) Myth: If you’re a “perfectionist,” you’ll always be that way.

Truth: Perfectionism is a choice, and with education, hard work, and dedication, you can choose to cure your perfectionistic side. You can choose to let things go. You can choose to see beauty in the process. You can choose love—love of your life, your family, and yourself.

 

The Good News About Perfectionism

If you see yourself in any of these myths, please take heart in the truths. Let them open your eyes to another way of living–let them inspire you to begin today to kick the perfectionism habit. Take a searching look at how perfectionism treats you. Like a bad boyfriend, it tells you you’re never good enough, makes you work to receive love, and never lets you quit. “He’s no good for you,” I say. No darn good. Time to let him (or rather, it–perfectionism) go.

 

Check out my series on “How to Feel Self-Worth.” It’s a great place to begin to dump perfectionism and learn to love the real, beautiful, imperfect you.

Are you a perfectionist? Do you see yourself in any of these myths or facts? What stands out for you after reading this? Leave a question/comment, below, and let us know what you think!

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com!

 

"Perfect?" or "Fake?': 8 Myths about Perfectionism, & 8 Truths to Cure It; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

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References:
Brown, B. (2010) The Gifts of Imperfection, p.56.
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