18 Feb The Many FACEs of DEPRESSION: Men, Illness, & Mental Health–Pernell’s Story
I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to begin my “Many FACEs of DEPRESSION” blog series. After reviewing dozens of submissions, I’ve selected 12 individuals to share their stories of depression, hope, and healing.
The faces that accompany these posts are those of regular men and women of all walks and races, demonstrating that depression doesn’t play favorites–it can strike any of us, and there are many ways to treat it, recover, and heal. These stories show the many experiences of depression, the various ways it comes about, and how it affects daily life, work, family, and relationships.
My hope is that, through these stories, we will be able to 1) expose the many faces of depression–the people who suffer and how they overcome, so that 2) others may better understand depression, and 3) we may raise awareness of depression to 4) overcome the stigma. That we may learn to 4) ask about depression, and especially, that we may 5) begin to talk about it.
Men, Illness, & Mental Health: Story 2–Pernell
I started this series with my own story, a few months ago, and today, I am honored to share Pernell’s story.
I’ve known Pernell and his family through church and socially for the past 10 years. Pernell is a successful attorney with a beautiful wife (my kids’ amazing piano teacher) and family of four daughters, two sons, three sons-in-law, and 5 grandchildren. He is a warm, intelligent leader, and someone people admire in our community.
When I received Pernell’s blog post submission I was surprised, to say the least. I remember when he went through the medical experiences he describes below, and I knew it had been very hard on him and his family. But I had no idea Pernell had ever suffered from depression. From the outside, you could never tell; this is one reason I wanted to do this series–because, as I said in my story, “You can’t always tell by looking.”
I hope, through reading Pernell’s words, you will feel the love he has for his family, for life, and for others suffering from mental health concerns. Yes, men get depression. Yes, it can often be triggered by health issues. And yes, it can happen to those who are successful and seem to “have it all.” Read on, and you’ll see what I mean. Then, join me again next month for story 3 as we FACE DEPRESSION, together.
Pernell’s Story
“15 years ago my brother was diagnosed with a rare liver disorder. Within 3 years he needed a transplant. His best chance of survival was to receive a liver from a living donor. I volunteered and was a match. In April 2006 I donated 60% of my liver to him. A week after leaving the hospital I was re-admitted due to a bile duct leak. Try as they might, the doctors could not locate the leak. I became so ill the doctors were about to operate again. I had to fast for 3 days because of all the tests. My hair began to fall out. Finally, the doctors located the leak, inserted a stent and I began to recover. However, during that week I remember sitting on a gurney waiting for an MRI. I was left alone, and all of the sudden began to feel intense anxiety. I remember thinking, ‘this is silly, just calm down!’ But, I couldn’t. It was probably only a few minutes, but I was so relieved when someone finally came to get me.
over anything. I could barely talk to my clients. I came home one day for lunch and could barely whisper to my wife, ‘I’m in trouble, I need help.’ She called a psychologist. He agreed to see me and it was apparent I had anxiety and depression. Initially, it was a great relief to be able to put a label on what I was feeling. But that did not make the feelings go away. The anxiety was so intense, that my heart would beat twice as fast as normal. My teeth would chatter together. My saliva glands and tear ducts were on overload. I could not sleep more than 3 hours a night, and when I did, I did not dream. I also was depressed. I could see no point to life. I remember seeing people walk their dogs and thinking, ‘what a completely worthless thing to do.’ Life had lost all meaning to me. I thought that I would gladly go through the pain of the transplant again just to stop the emotional pain I was feeling. I kept asking God why this would happen to me. I had done what I thought was a good thing by helping my brother and could not understand why I was being punished.
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I am Pernell’s daughter. And I am so unbelievably proud of him. Seeing this experience (parts of it…I worked at the law firm with him the summer after the procedure) taught me so much about the strength of the human spirit. My dad is the strongest person I know and to see him need help with something was the first time I realized he was human. It’s good to know he’s human, because it teaches me that I can OVERCOME. Because I am very much human. And because I am his daughter, I’d like to think I got some of his strength, too.
It’s nice to read a story where the person gets better. I didn’t know that was possible with Depression or any mental illness. I’m glad for Pernell & it was brave of him to share his story.
Hello, Pernell
I really want to thank you for posting your story. It’s really helps me to be encouraged about my story.
Thank you, Pernell, for sharing your story and showing that depression and anxiety don’t discriminate, that even successful people can suffer. So glad that you are doing well now.