Overcoming Mom Shame: #StopMomShaming Solutions (Mom.Life Q & A)

 

If you’re a mom, you’ve experienced it–unwanted advice, criticism, or shaming about your parenting, choices, or lifestyle that leaves you feeling devastated. Why are we so hard on each other? And why are we so hard on ourselves?

 

Mom.Life Mom-Shaming Survey Results

Mom-shaming is unfortunately an everyday part of today’s world, and the consequences can be heavy.

Recently, the creators of the engaging and popular Mom.Life app conducted a survey of over 225 women on the topic of mom shaming, or unwanted criticism of their choices or appearance, to understand the far reaching effects. Here’s what they found:

  • Nearly 80% percent of the women surveyed report being shamed.
  • 53% say that shaming happens frequently or is rampant.
  • The leading focus of the shaming was feeding choice, followed by parenting style.
  • Other moms are most likely to be shamers (70%).
  • Dads were the least likely to shame moms.

Why are these numbers so high? And why are moms feeling the most shamed by other moms?

 

Understanding Mom-Shaming

You would think other moms would be the most compassionate, sympathetic, and understanding. After all, don’t we all “get” how difficult motherhood and parenting can be? Aren’t we all in the thick of hectic schedules, lack of sleep, and worry that we’re just not doing as well as every other mom?

The sad truth is mom-shaming is a rampant problem, and Mom.Life has taken up the charge to do something about it–a cause I heartily support.

I recently sat down with Mom.Life co-founders, Dee Anna McPherson and Charong Chow, to discuss solutions to #StopMomShaming (the title of their campaign), and also did a Q&A in the Mom.Life app (so fun!), both of which I’m happy to be sharing with you. Listen to or watch our entire conversation in this Motherhood Radio or Motherhood TV episode, and read my take on mom-shaming solutions, below.

 

Mom Shame Q & A with Mom.Life and Dr. Christina Hibbert

A short while ago, I was a featured expert for one of Mom.Life‘s incredible live events. These events are geared toward creating a safe, supportive environment in which moms can engage, live, with one another and discuss topics important and relevant to motherhood.

The topic for the event I was part of was #StopMomShaming, and there were excellent questions by app users and incredible feedback that created an enlightening conversation. Below are some of the most helpful questions and answers from this event. My hope is it will get you thinking about mom-shaming, and how you can be part of the solution, too. (Download the Mom.Life app now to follow me and join the #StopMomShaming movement, and leave a comment below to let us know your thoughts!)

 

Question 1 (Mom.Life):

What is your take on mom shaming? We recently surveyed our moms, and the results were astounding. About 80% of mom have been shamed, mostly for parenting choices? And most shamers were moms themselves. Could you shed some light into this dynamic?

Answer (Dr. Hibbert):

It’s awful so many are still feeling shamed on a regular basis, but unfortunately it’s not surprising to me. It’s so easy for us to get stuck in “our way” and then to beleive it’s the “best” or “only” way. This leads to intentional or unintentional shaming about choices, when in reality, it’s CRUCIAL we each do this parenting thing our own way.

No one knows your specific situation. No one knows your specific children. And no one is the expert on your family’s needs but YOU. If we could hold our tongues, see the differences in our situations and what works, and just love one another, we’d all be so much happier and feel so much more loved and supported.

 

Question 2 (Mom.Life):

Love your response and insight! Mom shaming is so hurtful. Why do you think it affects us so much, especially our self-confidence?

Answer (Dr. Hibbert):

It’s the worst to feel “attacked” at the heart of what matters most to you, and that’s exactly what mom shaming does. We are all just trying to figure this motherhood thing out, and as I said before, we each have our own unique situations. Since we’re all doing this without a map, we don’t KNOW 100% what we’re doing, right? Even if I have 6 kids, I still don’t know what I’m doing with every one of them, because they’re all so unique and what worked for one doesn’t work for others. This makes us vulnerable from the start. When someone criticizes in that vulnerable area, it hits extra hard. It makes us question, “Am I a terrible mother?” when really, the criticism says so much more about the person who gave it. It’s called “projection,” and the things we criticize others for are usually the things WE most need to work on. That’s why they bother us in the first place and we feel the need to criticize.

 

Question 3 (Mom.Life):

So, it’s not really about us, then? I love that. Here’s a question from a mom in the app: It seems like no matter who we are we get mom shamed, I am a young mom (20) and get mom shamed by my own mom…how do I shut this down?

Answer (Dr. Hibbert):

Being shamed by our own parents/in-laws is the worst, and it’s unfortunately quite common. Often it’s unintentional and just your mother’s way of tell you how “she did it”. Other times, it’s on purpose. I think this comes from insecurity, as all shaming does. If we feel that sense of self-worth, we don’t need to shame others.

Perhaps your mother just doesn’t “get” what you’re trying to do as a mom. Perhaps she is jealous of how you are as a mom. Whatever the reason, you don’t have to just sit and take it. Boundaries are a wonderful tool for this. Boundaries are rules you set up to protect yourself and your family. It’s like a fence you construct and you decide if it’s a picket fence or a tall brick wall. You decide what is and is not okay for you as a mom with others, and then you talk with them about what you’ve decided, and if they’re ok with it, then great. If not, you’ll need to be tough and keep your boundaries nonetheless. You can still love someone and have strong boundaries. In fact, it’s healthy.

Question 4 (Mom.Life):

Any tips on not allowing mom shaming to bother you to begin with?

Answer (Dr. Hibbert):

I think it all comes down to a strong sense of self-worth, and I’ve learned that we moms struggle with this the very most. I believe there’s a difference between self-esteem (or what we think, feel, how we behave, look, and what others think about us–the “outward” things) and self-worth (who we truly are–the inner truth). I’ve developed a “pyramid of self-worth” to help people work on building this sense of self-worth, to FEEL that self-love and KNOW they’re truly valuable and worthy.

Almost all the issues I see clients for, at their core, have to deal with self-worth, and I started to see this pattern of women especially who’d say, “I know YOU say I’m worthy, and I can tell myself that, but I don’t FEEL it.” It made me wonder, “how to you help someone feel self-worth?” That’s when I developed the pyramid of self-worth, which is made up of 1) self-awareness, 2) self-acceptance, and 3) self-love practices. I write about this in both my books “Who am I without You” and “8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise,” as well as on my YouTube channel!

 

Question 5 (Mom.Life):

Here’s a great question from the community: How do you make sure you’re sharing the love when you bring another baby home? How do you make sure you’re there for your partner and also for your other children?

Answer (Dr. Hibbert):

I used to worry so much about this when I was pregnant with my second! I’d wonder, “How could I ever love another baby like I love my first?” But you do. And it’s amazing how your love just grows and amplifies with other children and meaningful family relationships–as a mom of 6 I can say this for sure!

What IS truly challenging is making time so everyone feels they’re getting “enough” of you. It’s important to also get some of yourself, too, so I suggest writing down your priorities–what matters most, in order of most important to least. Then, write down how much time you’re willing to give to each thing each week (including work, relationships, the house cleaning, etc). Focus on getting your top three done everyday, and you will never feel like you’re lacking. The house can be messy, especially if it means you played with your toddler and spent time with your spouse. Let go of what’s not as important in favor of what IS.

I love the saying, “Saying no to something is really saying ‘Yes’ to something better.” Write this on your wall if you need to, but remember that a little of your time and attention, especially if it’s full of love, goes a long, long way. One other suggestion for bringing another baby home: Give the older child a “gift” from the new baby. It’s a great way for big bro/sis to start feeling like and love for their new sibling!

Singing & rocking my youngest, Sydney. Though I was able to breastfeed her, I introduced a bottle early on. I knew I needed it to help me survive PPD.

Question 6 (Mom.Life):

One mom writes: I can’t help but to keep blaming myself for my weight gain. It is my fault and I feel worse because I didn’t “bounce back” like everyone else. Any advice on how I can gain my confidence back and stop blaming myself so much?

Answer (Dr. Hibbert):

Self-blame is a tough cycle to live in. It’s so easy to look at others and compare and think, “They are so much better than I am. I stink!” when really we don’t know their struggles, and they’re probably doing the same thing with us about something else. We compare our worst to others’ best, and that’s a vicious cycle. Our sense of self-worth is so tied up in this. If you don’t love yourself or if you can’t practice compassion with yourself–with who you are, your strengths, weakness, the “good, bad, ugly, and exceptional”– of course, you will blame yourself for every perceived “failure.”

The key is to work on building that sense of self-worth, as I mentioned above. Then, you will feel stronger and able to say, “I don’t like that I haven’t lost this weight, but I accept this is where I am right now.” Then, you have the option to change where you are, to improve. And you’ll be coming at it in such a healthier way. As far as weight loss, my newest book, “8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise,” there’s a whole chapter on Self-worth, and I don’t even discuss setting up a fitness program until Key 7! That’s because, if we really want to set and achieve goals–like the goal to exercise or be healthy–we first need a LOT of mental preparation. We need to change how we view “success” and “failure,” we need to build our self-worth so we’ll stick with it, and we need to learn how to stay motivated. Working on these things is a great start to eventually loving all of who you are and achieving your dreams! (Join my “Exercise to Mental Health” course here!)

 

Question 7 (Mom.Life):

Here’s another good question from a mom: How can I feel less lonely as a new mom? How do I make sure I am my own person and not be known as JJ’s mommy? Is it selfish sometimes to be my own person? I don’t want to only be my son’s mommy.

Answer (Dr. Hibbert):

What a great question! First, let me say this clearly: IT IS NOT SELFISH FOR YOU TO BE YOUR OWN PERSON. I see so many mothers who are empty nesters and can’t even answer what they like to do because they’ve given ALL their time and energy to their children and lost themselves along the way. Our goal as mothers is to raise children who become healthy, productive, independent adults, so we do ourselves AND them no good by not remembering who WE are. In fact, I have seen in my own life and so many others’ the power of being YOU as a mom. As we develop our own talents and gifts and share them with others, we SHOW our children how to do the same. We give them permission to “go for it!” because we’ve done so, too. I took my 11 year old daughter with me to an event where I was speaking and doing a book signing, for parents who had all lost a child. She watched me speak and helped with the book signing and at the end of the day she said, “Wow, mom. You are important. You help so many people. I’m so proud of you!” This has helped her want to do the same. We can’t be selfish if we don’t have a SELF. And trust me, as mothers, we give our children so much more when we let that self shine boldly through!

 

 

Have you ever been shamed? By whom, and about what? Do you feel mom-shaming is a problem? Why or why not? What are the solutions to #StopMomShaming?

Join the conversation below by leaving a comment!

Join my “Exercise to Mental Health” 6-week online course! Visit www.ExercisetoMentalHealth.com for information!

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Mother’s Day: The One Thing ALL Moms Need

Mother's Day-The One Thing ALL Moms Need; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

There’s a lot of talk this time of year about what to get Mom for Mother’s Day, of what we moms want, what we deserve, and what we truly desire. While all of these are undoubtedly important, I want to talk for a few minutes about what moms actually need for Mother’s Day.

 

If I asked, “What do you need right now?” the answers would vary. “A nap.” “A shower.” “To go to the bathroom without someone banging on the door!” “A couple hours just to myself.” “To get out of the house and have some fun.” “A hug.” “Encouragement.” “Support.” “Help.” “Love.” Our needs are important; as moms, I’d even say they’re crucial. When we fail to address our needs, we, and those around us (especially our children, spouses and families), suffer. We become worn out, burned out, depressed, and ill. As I often say, “It’s called a need because you need it.” (More on How to Get Your Needs Met, here.)

 

 

The One Thing ALL Moms Need

It’s one thing to be told we’re great. From familyMother's Day-The One Thing ALL Moms Need www.DrChristinaHibbert.com, friends, at church or even on TV on Mother’s Day, we hear praise for mothers. Our children’s poems, gifts, and cards tell us we’re wonderful. The question is, “Do we believe it?” Do we feel it, deep inside? Do we let ourselves feel good about the good job we’re doing as moms?

 

I’ve had many Mother’s Days when I didn’t believe this. Mother’s Days when all that praise backfired drastically, leaving me feeling lower than low, guilty for all I wasn’t doing, unable to see all I was. I believed there was no way I could ever be as good as other moms, or even as good of a mom as I wanted to be. All I could see were my faults, how I didn’t measure up. It’s easy to do–to question, resist, and twist the praise into fuel for self-doubt and self-loathing.

 

It’s a miserable place to be, and yet as a psychologist working with countless moms over the years, I know I’m not the only one who’s felt this way on Mother’s Day. It’s tragic–the one day we’re meant to be built up can put such pressure on us, we end up feeling deflated.

I love spending quality time with my kids, but I love it even more when I've had some time to myself, too. How can I ever doubt my worth as their mother when we love each other so?

I love spending quality time with my kids, but I love it even more when I’ve had some time to myself, too. How can I ever doubt my worth as their mother when we love each other so?

 

Through these experiences, I’ve learned it’s not the holiday itself or the words of others that takes what’s meant to be good and makes it something miserable. It’s something going on inside of me. It’s only when I’ve been focusing too much on my weaknesses, or in a period of anxiety or depression or postpartum depression, or intense grief, trauma or heartache; when I’ve been overcome by a wayward child or struggling with my true worth–these are the times when I couldn’t believe the kind words said. And no amount of reiterating would help. The issue needed to be resolved at a deeper level.

 

My 8 year-old daughter gave me this today. I'm believing what she says--that I'm good at loving, caring, & making them happy!

My 8 year-old daughter gave me this today. I’m believing what she says–that I’m good at loving, caring, & making them happy!

 

How can we believe we’re doing great, good, or even good enough as a mother, when we just don’t?

By focusing on building ourselves and our self-worth as moms. We can:

 

1. Identify the thoughts and feeling that hold us down, telling us we’re not good enough. We can challenge and learn to change them, and as we do, we can progress to tackling the unwanted beliefs we hold, too. (Learn how to tackle unwanted thoughts and beliefs in this post and video.)

 

2. We can let ourselves FEEL (Freely Experience Emotions with Love) what Mother's Day-The One Thing ALL Moms Need, www.DrChristinaHibbert.comcomes, so it doesn’t get all stuck inside, causing blockages to our mind, heart, and soul. (Learn how to FEEL in this post and video and in my memoir, This is How We Grow.)

 

3. We can seek Divine help and guidance, remembering the honor of being a mother, no matter how hard it is. We can remind ourselves that we are being led and cheered on by those on High. As we seek, listen, and obey the whispers, we will find a peace and joy in our role as “Mom,” knowing we are doing an important work, and that we truly are not alone.

 

4. We can actively work to build self-worth, not only for our own benefit, but so we can show our children how to do the same. (Learn how to build self-worth using my “Pyramid of Self-Worth” here and in my books Who Am I Without You and 8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise. Listen to How to Teach Your Daughters Self-Esteem & Self-Worth.)

 

5. Finally, we can choose, just for this moment, to believe. “You are good enough.” “You are a good mother.” “You are actually a great mother!” What if you chose to believe any or all of these things, moment by moment this Mother’s Day? How might that change you for the better? 

 

 

This Mother’s Day, Believe…

Mothers, trust me, you are doing better than you think you are. You are loving, Mother's Day--The One Thing ALL Moms Need, www.DrChristinaHibbert.comserving, getting up and trying again and again, and again. You are sacrificing, weeping, rejoicing, and seeking self-improvement through it all. If one of these things feels lacking in your life right now, guess what? It’s okay. It’s an opportunity to open yourself up and become even “better than better”–to eventually flourish!

 

Motherhood is truly the best soil for personal growth. Plant yourself. You’ll be amazed by how vast and high and far you will grow. Choose to believe it this Mother’s Day. Help other mothers believe it: You’re better than you think you are. You’re worthy, you’re remarkable, you’re doing the most important work. Let yourself feel the honor of bearing the name, “Mom.”

 

 

 

“You are good enough.” “You are a good mother.” “You are actually a great mother!” What if you chose to believe any or all of these things, moment by moment this Mother’s Day? How might that change you for the better? Share your thoughts below, by leaving a comment. 

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#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
“Choose to grow” with my bestselling, award-winning memoir, This is How We Grow!
Available at Amazon or Barnes & Noble!

 

 

 

 

"Who Am I Without You?" 52 Ways to Rebuild Self-Esteem After a Breakup; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #book #selfesteem #breakup #divorce

Build true self-worth, confidence, and love with “Who Am I Without You.”
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Exercise as a Family to Build Stronger Relationships, Mental & Physical Health (Key 3!)

Exercise as a Family to Build Strong Relationships, Mental & PHysical Health www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #exercise #family #mentalhealthRaising a healthy, happy family is a tall order, especially considering the many stressors, challenges and roadblocks children, parents, and well, everyone faces each day. How can we raise happy, healthy kids? How can we strengthen our family while building self-esteem and improving family relationships? Family exercise.

Now, I’m not talking about getting everyone in their spandex for a five-mile run or a high intensity step aerobics class. I’m talking about teaching our family to move–to be active, and to have fun while doing so.

“Exercise as a family” is Key 3 of my new book, “8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise,” and you’re about to find out just why it’s so important.

 

 

The Family, Mental Health, & Exercise 

At Yellowstone with my family, we went hiking, biking, and had a great time playing frisbee, "keep away" and enjoying the beautiful scenery!

At Yellowstone with my family, we went hiking, biking, and had a great time playing frisbee, “keep away” and enjoying the beautiful scenery! Great for family relationships AND mental health!

“Family plays one of the most critical roles in how we view ourselves—in how we think and feel about who we are, are perceived in this world, and our attitudes toward a host of things, not least of which includes physical activity. Family is also one of the biggest influencers of our mental health. Healthy family environments promote and strengthen mental health, while unhealthy family systems can provoke or contribute to mental illness.

 

“It’s therefore no surprise that exercising as a family is one of the best ‘keys’ for mental health and physical activity across the lifespan. When the family is able to create and foster a positive relationship with exercise and physical activity, the entire family benefits, both physically and mentally.”

 

 

What are the Benefits of Exercising As A Family?

The physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual health benefits of exercise for individual adults and children are well-researched, but what can our family gain from being active together?

 

“The family who exercises together…

 

“…gets and stays healthy together–physically and mentally

One Saturday, after my kids had helped me get a little time alone, I took them for a family bike ride. I win. They win. We all win.

One Saturday, after my kids had helped me get a little time alone, I took them for a family bike ride. I win. They win. We all win.

“All of the physical health benefits of exercise [for individuals] can also apply to the children, adolescents, and adults (of any age) in your family. Exercise is important for families because it can control weight, lower heart risks, improve school performance, and increase life expectancy (Bhargava 2014). Additionally, all of the mental health benefits [of exercise] can apply to each of your family members. Family exercise can improve mental and emotional well being, reduce stress and anxiety, and improve happiness and overall life satisfaction for everyone, creating a happier, healthier family unit…”

 

“…grows in self-worth and confidence together.”

“In Key 2 we discussed how exercise makes us feel better about ourselves and can lead to a greater sense of self-worth… We first learn self-worth and confidence in the home. If we want our children and spouse/partner to develop a habit of exercise for mental health for life, we should also try to demonstrate self-worth and confidence. As we provide our family members with opportunities to be active and try new activities, encourage and guide one another in learning new exercise skills, work together, and yes, have fun, we will grow together in confidence and self-worth…”

 

“…has fun together.” 

With the fam, zip lining in Mexico, last spring break.

With the fam, zip lining in Mexico, last spring break.

“Exercise is not only good for our body and mind; it’s good for the soul—if we do it right. Exercise and activity can, and should, be fun. It should involve play, laughter, and memory making with family and friends. Kids are all about having fun, and games, sports, and activities like jumping rope, playing tag, and doing tricks on the trampoline are fun—and great exercise. But the fun isn’t just for the kids. Parents who make exercise fun for kids benefit by having a little fun, too…

 

“…remains active together, throughout life.”

“…Active parents tend to have active children. One study of 4- to 7-year-olds found that children with two active parents were nearly six times more likely to be active, too. Even more interestingly, they found that children with one active and one inactive parent were still more than three times more likely to be active than children with two inactive parents (Moore et al., 1991). Additional research has shown significant relationships between the physical activity levels of every possible family member combination (i.e. mother-father, father-son, mother-daughter, siblings, and so on) (Seabra et al., 2008), providing even greater evidence that families who are active together tend to stay active, together.”

 

“stays together.”Exercise as a Family, www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #exercise #mentalhealth #health #family 8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise #books

“Exercising as a family doesn’t just create physically and mentally healthy individuals, though that is a huge payoff. It creates a healthier family unit. Being active together doesn’t just help wear kids out so they’ll go to bed earlier and sleep longer (which, let’s face it parents, is a bonus). No. Exercise has the potential to bring families closer…”

 

Exercise as a Family

How can we build stronger family relationships, physical, and mental health? Exercise. Be active together. Have fun together. Live long and happy lives together. Strengthen your family–relationships, physically, and mentally–by seeking to build activity into your family’s life.

And for more ideas on how to do this, watch for “Exercise as a Family: 50 Fun Ways to Get (& Stay) Moving Together”–coming next–to get your family reaping the many benefits of exercise today!

 

~The above quoted excerpts are from my newest book, 8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise. Available online or at your local bookseller! 

 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

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What benefits have you found from family exercise? How do you make it fun and get kids on board? I’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment, below!

 

 

My new book, available on Amazon.com!

 “8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise

“…Enlightening and empowering…” ~Publisher’s Weekly

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Related Posts/Articles:

Exercise for Mental Health: Key 1, Make it fun! (My “8 Keys” Book Launch at Zion Ponderosa Women’s Adventure Retreat!)

Improve your Self-Esteem with Exercise–Key 2!

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Improve Your Self-Esteem with Exercise–Key 2 (Excerpt from “8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise!”)

 Improve Self-Esteem with Exercise!--Key 2, Free Excerpt from %228 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise%22 #books #exercise #mentalhealth #selfesteem

Enjoy this Free Excerpt from my NEW book, “8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise!

 

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.”

~Thich Nhat Hanh

 “Most experts see self-esteem as an important aspect of mental health. I agree: self-esteem seems to underlie almost every issue for which my clients come to therapy. They say they’re there because of depression, or anxiety, or relationship problems, but at its core, the real problem is almost always a struggle with self-esteem.

 

Self-esteem can be defined as the opinion we have of ourselves, or how we Anxiety & Women: Hormones, Sleep & What You Can Do www.DrChristinaHibbert.comfeel about ourselves. Healthy self-esteem means we have a positive outlook about ourselves, others, and life. The world calls this “high self-esteem,” and it is associated with healthier behavior, including greater independence, leadership, life adaptability, resilience to stress (Fox 2000), more sports involvement and exercise, healthier diet, less smoking, and lower suicide risk (Torres & Fernandez, ).

 

On the other hand, “low self-esteem” is correlated with the absence of wellness and is a frequent underlying aspect of depression, anxiety, low assertiveness, feelings of hopelessness, suicidal ideation, and a poor sense of personal control (Fox 2000). Low self-esteem is also associated with higher self-criticism, negative thinking, an inability to cope effectively with life, and poorer overall mental health, including a greater chance of developing clinical depression, anxiety, suicidal tendencies, eating disorders, stress, substance abuse, and other mental illnesses (Mann et al., 2004).

 

In fact, self-esteem is one of the strongest predictors of subjective well-being. It is an essential aspect of mental wellness and quality of life (Diener 1984). Feeling good about who, and how, we are helps us feel good about life’s situations and other people, and helps us face challenges with confidence and compassion. Healthy self-esteem is also correlated with greater physical activity, and greater physical activity is correlated with higher self-esteem (Fox 2000). It’s therefore crucial we develop healthy self-esteem if we want a rich, healthy, and happy life. As we’ll discuss below, exercise can play a valuable role in helping us achieve this.”

 

“Which Comes First—Exercise or Self-esteem?

Researchers have long been asking, “Which comes first—self-esteem or

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exercise?” We know there is a high correlation between those who are physically active with healthy self-esteem. Common consensus is that this relationship goes both ways. Those who already have high self-esteem are more likely to exercise and participate in sports, especially those who feel confident in their physical abilities and appearance. On the flip side, those with lower self-esteem and physical self-perceptions, including those who suffer from depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders, are less likely to engage in regular physical activity. However, this group has the most to gain from exercise, and research shows that regular exercise increases positive self-feelings and evaluations, meaning they feel more confident, capable, and healthy through regular exercise and activity, leading to higher overall self-esteem (Fox 2000).

 

While research can’t exactly pinpoint, it appears there are several mechanisms that lead to improved self-esteem from exercise.

First, as we already know, exercise improves mood and enhances positive self-regard. This, in turn, seems to have a positive effect on self-esteem.

Second, exercise can improve body image, satisfaction, and acceptance for some, which increases overall self-esteem.

Third, exercise leads us to feel more physically competent, which may then improve how we feel about ourselves overall.

Fourth, exercise helps us feel more in control of our appearance, health, and bodily functioning, which can increase a sense of self-efficacy.

And finally, exercise, and especially group exercise, can improve relationships and increase a sense of belonging, which is important in the development of self-esteem (Fox 2000).

 

Overall, it’s likely that each of these factors interplay to create improvements in mind, body, and self-esteem. Since exercise helps us improve our physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual health, it makes sense that this would lead to a greater quality of life and improved sense of self-worth. When we stick with an exercise or fitness routine, we demonstrate motivation and dedication, both of which are associated with greater self-esteem and self-perceptions (Fox 2000). Bottom line: no matter how it works, exercise and self-esteem go hand in hand.

 

 

“Exercise, Self-Esteem and Self-Worth

Why, then, if exercise holds so many secret ingredients for our mental health and wellbeing, is it only weakly correlated with how we perceive our ourselves, especially our bodies? I have a theory. I believe this happens because too many of us still don’t feel our self-worth. Even when the outward evidence says, “You’re important! You’re valuable! You’re an amazing human being!” we don’t believe it. We believe our own “evidence” instead, evidence we’ve collected through our whole lives via true or untrue thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions of experiences. This “evidence” says, “I’m not good enough.”

 

One of the main problems with self-esteem is that it’s mostly based on external

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Zion Ponderosa Women’s Adventure Retreat www.ZionPonderosa.com

sources. Research shows that basing our worth on external sources—like appearance, academic or physical performance, or approval from others—leads to greater anger, stress, relationship and academic problems, and higher alcohol and drug use and eating disorders (Crocker 2002).

 

In contrast, those who base their worth on internal, constant sources, such as being a virtuous person or sticking to moral standards, tend to have greater success in life, including higher grades and lower likelihood of eating disorders and drug/alcohol use. In fact, students in one study who based their self-worth on outward sources, like academic performance, were found to have poorer self-esteem, even when their grades were higher than others (Crocker ). This shows the power of having a true, deep sense of self-worth versus basing our worth on self-perceptions and self-esteem.

 

Understanding self-worth is crucial in exercise for mental health success; it helps us believe we can do it, stick with it, and reach our fullest mental and physical health potential. When we feel confident, we’re not only more likely to exercise; we’re more likely to let go of the self-perceptions and beliefs that hold us back and make us feel like a “failure.” We’re more likely to overcome the roadblocks, stop unhealthy thoughts and beliefs, and stay motivated and dedicated to exercise. As psychologist Nathaniel Branden writes, “The level of our [sense of self-worth] has profound consequences for every aspect of our existence: how we operate in the workplace, how we deal with people, how high we are likely to rise, how much we are likely to achieve—and in the personal realm, with whom we are likely to fall in love, how we interact with our spouse, children, and friends, what level of personal happiness we attain” (1995, p.4-5). Yes, we need self-worth.”

~Excerpt from 8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise, Key 2

 

 

Read all of “Key 2: Improve your Self-Esteem with Exercise,” in my NEW book, 8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise

And read more excerpts, like “How to Get (& Stay) Motivated!” and posts like “Mental Health  Through Exercise–Key 1: Make it fun!”

Learn more about building self-esteem and self-worth here.

 

How does exercise impact your sense of self-esteem and self-worth? I’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment, below!

My new book, available on Amazon.com!

 “8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise

“…Enlightening and empowering…” ~Publisher’s Weekly

Pre-Order on Norton.com and SAVE 25% plus free shipping, with the code HIBBERT,
 or order on AmazonBarnes & Noble, Target.com, or Walmart.com!

 

 

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out my bestselling, award-winning memoir, This is How We Grow!
Available at Amazon or Barnes & Noble!

 

"Who Am I Without You?" 52 Ways to Rebuild Self-Esteem After a Breakup; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #book #selfesteem #breakup #divorce

 My latest book, “Who Am I Without You,” is available now at
TargetAmazonBarnes & NobleNew Harbinger, or your local bookseller!

 

 

Join my “This is How We Grow” 30-Day Personal Growth Plan! 

 

"This is How We Grow" FREE 30-Day Personal Growth Plan! www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #personalgrowth #goals

 

 

 

Listen to my episode of  “Motherhood” radio, “Overcoming Roadblocks (& Excuses) to Exercise for Mental (& Physical) Health” for more tips on self-esteem and exercise!  Listen on demand/download the episode at WebTalkRadio.net, and/or visit iTunes to subscribe.

Listen to "Motherhood" with Dr. Christina Hibbert! Each week on WebTalkRadio.net & iTunes! www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #radio

 

 

 

 

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Related Posts/Articles:

How to Get (& Stay) Motivated: (Sneak Peak Excerpt from my new book, “8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise”)

Exercise for Mental Health: Key 1, Make it fun! (My “8 Keys” Book Launch at Zion Ponderosa Women’s Adventure Retreat!)

Mom Mental Health Through Exercise: Pregnancy, Postpartum & Beyond!

40 Physical and Mental Health Benefits of Exercise

Essential Oils 101: My favorite Wellness Benefits for Moms, Kids, & Families!

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Beyond Resolutions: Discover your New Year’s Vision

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Personal Growth & Self-Actualization

 

 

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How to Get (& Stay) Motivated! (Sneak Peak Excerpt from my new book, “8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise”)

How to Get (& Stay) Motivated-Sneak Peak Excerpt from my new book, %228 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise%22 www.DrChristinahibbert.com #exercise #mentalhealth #motivation

It’s late January and there’s no better time to talk about motivation. We may have set goals, resolutions, and themes, but are we still going strong? Or is motivation starting to wane?

I’ve been counting the days ’til the release of my new book, “8 Keys To Mental Health Through Exercise,” but in the meantime, I thought I’d give you a sneak peak, sharing some of “Key 4: Get Motivated!” Though written for those trying to get and stay motivated to exercise, you will see you can apply these strategies to any goal you’re trying to achieve. Be sure to do the exercises at the end, too! It’s a sure way to start feeling more motivated today. And check out 8 Keys to Mental Health Through ExerciseSAVE 25% plus free shipping, with the code HIBBERT, on Norton.com or find it on Amazon or Barnes & Noble!

“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.”
—Mahatma Gandhi

“What is Motivation?’

“We can all relate to feeling motivated by something, or unmotivated, can’t we? The first example that comes to mind is school and homework. I’m sure each of us can recall a time from school or college days when we needed to complete a paper, project, or studying, but we just didn’t feel motivated to do it. Perhaps we were able to make ourselves get up and do it anyway, but perhaps we procrastinated and paid the price later. Either way, we know what motivation, or lack of motivation, feels like. What we may not fully understand is what motivation really is and how it really works.’

“Motivation is a psychological construct used to explain behavior. It also helps us understand our desires, needs, wants, thoughts, and feelings. It’s what gets us up and doing what we know we could, should, or need to do. It’s what makes us want to change, grow, and improve. It explains why we want to repeat or to stop a behavior, and also helps us understand why we don’t act—why we avoid, reject, or even fear certain behaviors, feelings, and experiences. Motivation is a word that’s part of our daily thought processes and vocabulary, and it’s one of the most popular concepts that we’ve adapted from psychology into everyday life. Motivation is quite literally in everything we do (or don’t do).’

“Unfortunately, for the most part, we don’t understand or comprehend our own motivations. This is where so many of us get stuck. We know when we feel motivated. We know when we don’t feel motivated. But how regularly do we check in, evaluate, and try to understand our motivations—our motivations for how we treat people, why we do the things we do, what we avoid, and yes, our motivations for our daily behaviors, including exercise? For most of us, I’d say, it’s pretty infrequent. The truth is we don’t always know why we do what we do, and until we can understand our motivation, we’ll continually struggle to get to where we want to be. Let’s do an exercise to help illustrate what I mean. Please grab a pencil, find a quiet spot, and take a few moments to honestly ask yourself the following questions.’

“Reflection Questions: Self-Motivations”

“1. Why did I [decide to read this article] in the first place? What motivated me to [click on the link]?

2. Once I [clicked on the article,] what motivated me to [actually] start [and keep] reading?

3. …What do I hope to gain from reading this?

“Did you answer the reflection questions? If so, what motivated you to take the time to do this exercise? Was it because I asked nicely? (I did say, ‘please.’) If you did not answer the reflection questions, then what motivated you to skip it?’

“See? Motivation is in everything that we do (or don’t do), and when we begin to examine our motivations, we begin to find the key to initiative, drive, follow through, and ultimately, to achieving what we most desire.”

“How Does Motivation Work: Theory and Understanding”

“In order to understand our own motivations to implement and continue an exercise for mental health How to Get (& Stay) Motivated; www.DrChristinaHibbert.comprogram, it’s helpful to learn a little more about motivational theory and how motivation really works. There are numerous motivation theories (I recall taking a “Theories of Motivation” class in college that was three hours per week and lasted four months). This is not a book about motivation, and so we will not examine all the motivational theories. Instead, we will focus on three theories that, according to research, and in my opinion, are the most helpful when it comes to motivation in physical activity and exercise, especially exercise for mental health.”

“Self-Determination Theory”

“One of the most well-studied and validated motivational theories, when it comes to exercise, is called self-determination theory (SDT). Originally developed after years of research by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan, self-determination theory grew from a humanistic perspective, meaning that, similar to Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (another, well-known theory of motivation) SDT focuses on the fulfillment of human needs, self-actualization, and how we can realize our potential as human beings (Teixeira et al., 2012). In short, self-determination theory posits that we are most motivated when our motivation comes from within—when we are self-motivated and self-determined.’

“Some of the key elements of self-determination include the following:’

“Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation”

“First, SDT differentiates between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation means doing something because we enjoy, are excited about, appreciate the challenge of, feel accomplished at, and/or like putting our skills to use in a given activity. Examples of intrinsic motivation include someone who swims because she is talented and accomplished at it, someone who dances because he just loves to dance, or someone who enjoys the satisfaction she feels after rising to the challenge of a difficult workout. Each of these intrinsic motivators makes the activity itself worth doing, for different reasons but all of them internal and related directly to the activity.’

“On the flip side, extrinsic motivation refers to doing an activity to gain some form of outside reward. It involves a separate gain from that achieved by doing the activity for the activity’s sake. For example, we may exercise to gain the approval or acceptance of others, earn a tangible reward like money or a treat when we’re done, or because, if we don’t participate, say, in a school physical education class, we’ll get a bad grade. Extrinsic motivation can also involve our values and goals, such as someone who is motivated to exercise because he values becoming more muscular to feel better about his physical appearance (Ryan & Deci, 2000;Teixeira et al., 2012).’

“The best motivators for short-term activity are extrinsic motivators, but for long-term commitment, intrinsic motivation is key. Thus, we need to develop both if we want the optimal motivation to exercise for mental health [or to accomplish any other goals we’ve set for ourselves].”

“Causality Orientations”

Another element of self-determination theory, which goes along with internal and external motivation, is called “causality orientations”—a fancy term for the idea that we each have specific dispositional tendencies

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when it comes to motivation. These tendencies can impact our motivation to exercise, and keep at it. Some of us are more internally oriented and more likely to follow our own thoughts, feelings, and courses of action. Others are more externally oriented, meaning they are more likely to follow external norms, advice, and directives. And some are generally “amotivated,” meaning they’re more likely to be unresponsive or passive to external or internal factors that might motivate their behavior (Teixeira et al., 2012). These differing orientations impact our beliefs, motivations, and practices of exercise for mental health (Markland, 2009). However, just because we have a tendency to act a certain way doesn’t mean that we’ll always act that way. Understanding our “causal orientation” simply provides an invitation to be more self-aware about what might, or might not, drive and motive us. Remember what we learned about practicing self-awareness [read this post]? It can help us become more self-accepting, self-loving, and ultimately, can increase our sense of self-worth. We can then use this awareness to find ways to overcome or improve our motivational tendencies when they don’t seem to be working well enough. (Review The Pyramid of Self-Worth…for more on how practicing self-awareness can improve self-worth, and thus internal motivation.)”

“Basic Psychological Needs”

“The third element of self-determination theory that’s useful when we’re talking about exercise motivation is the human need for: competence, relatedness, and autonomy (Ryan & Deci, 2000; Teixeira et al., 2012). We’ve already seen how feeling competent in activity is a huge predictor of sticking with an activity—for children, teens, and adults. Additionally, we’ve discussed how social interaction and connectedness are strong motivators for, as well as benefits of, exercise. When we talk about autonomy, we mean that people like doing what they like to do. When we enjoy the activity or feel some intrinsic reward for doing it, we’re more likely to feel motivated to start and stick with it. All three of these basic human needs combine to influence our exercise motivation, for better or worse. When we can identify our competence, relatedness, and autonomy needs concerning exercise for mental health, we can find ways to better meet those needs, thus improving our motivation.”

“Three Premises of Self-Determination Theory”

“Finally, self-determination theory is based on three premises, and these premises play an important role in exercise motivation. First is the premise that we humans are inherently proactive about seeking to master our internal world. This means we tend to work on developing and conquering our drives, thoughts, and emotions. This is a good thing when it comes to exercise for mental health, because if we want to master our internal world, then we’re more likely to prioritize our mental health, and consequently, the strategies needed to “master” it, including exercise. Second, we tend toward growth, development, and integration. This means our natural tendency as humans is to want to improve and be whole. Third, however, is the premise that, though we may seek to master our internal world and inherently tend toward optimal actions and development, they don’t happen automatically. We have to work at it (Ryan & Deci, 2000).’

“That’s what this book is all about—working on new ways to master your internal world, or mental health, and seek the optional actions, like exercise, that will get you to your optimal development. The activity below, and others in this book, can show you how…”

“Reflection Questions:”

“Self-Determination Theory and You”

“1. What is your “causal orientation,” or your natural dispositional tendency, when it comes to exercise [or whatever your current goals may be]? Are you more motivated by internal factors, like your own thoughts, beliefs, and feelings about exercise? Are you more motivated by external factors, like social interaction, accountability, and rewards? Or, are you more in the category of “amotivated”—more passive or unmoved by either internal or external rewards?

2. How does your orientation impact your desire, motivation, and actions to engage in physical activity [or to actively work on your goals, resolutions, or theme]?

3. How important are competence, enjoyment, and autonomy to you, in your life? How important are they in motivating you to exercise [or to achieve your goals]? Write about each of these.

4. What are your thoughts on the “three premises of self-determination theory,” above? Do you believe you’re “inherently proactive” when it comes to mastering your internal world—your mental health, emotions, drives, desires, feelings, thoughts, and behaviors? Why or why not?

5. Do you feel naturally drawn toward growth and integration or is this more of a struggle for you? Why or why not?

6. Do you agree that these things don’t just happen without hard work? Are you willing to do the work you need to do? Why or why not?”

-Excerpted and adapted from key 4 of my brand new book, “8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise.” Coming April 2016, and available for pre-order TODAY on Norton.com (save 25% plus free shipping with code HIBBERT) on Amazon & Barnes & Noble! Watch for more sneak peak excerpts, coming soon!

 

My new book, available on Amazon.com!

My NEW book is almost here!  “8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise
Pre-Order on Norton.com and SAVE 25% plus free shipping, with the code HIBBERT,
 or order on Amazon or Barnes & Noble!

 

 

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out my bestselling, award-winning memoir, This is How We Grow!
Available at Amazon or Barnes & Noble!

 

"Who Am I Without You?" 52 Ways to Rebuild Self-Esteem After a Breakup; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #book #selfesteem #breakup #divorce

 My latest book, “Who Am I Without You,” is available now at
TargetAmazonBarnes & NobleNew Harbinger, or your local bookseller!

 

 

Join my “This is How We Grow” 30-Day Personal Growth Plan! 

 

"This is How We Grow" FREE 30-Day Personal Growth Plan! www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #personalgrowth #goals

 

 

 

Listen to my episode of  “Motherhood” radio, “How to ‘Choose to Grow’ & Make Lasting Change,” for more tips on motivation!  Listen on demand/download the episode at WebTalkRadio.net, and/or visit iTunes to subscribe.

Listen to "Motherhood" with Dr. Christina Hibbert! Each week on WebTalkRadio.net & iTunes! www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #radio

 

 

 

 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

You may manage your subscription options from your profile, here, or above, right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to Get (& Stay) Motivated-Sneak Peak Excerpt from my new book, %228 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise%22 www.DrChristinahibbert.com #exercise #mentalhealth #motivation
Let’s Connect! 

SUBSCRIBE, above, “Like” me on Facebook Dr. Christina HibbertThis Is How We Grow, & follow me on TwitterPinterest, & Instagram!

 

 

 

 

 

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“8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise” Book

8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise, www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #exercise #mentalhealth

“[A] useful and supportive exercise guide…enlightening and empowering…”

-Publisher’s Weekly

Order on AmazonBarnes & Noble, Target.com, Walmart.com, or find it at your favorite bookseller!

 

My new book!

Advance Praise for “8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise”

“[A] useful and supportive exercise guide . . . . As Hibbert makes clear, she has not written a workout regimen or weight-loss how-to, but a guide to using exercise to become both mentally and physically stronger. . . . [A]n enlightening and empowering instrument for people who have struggled with mental illness.” — Publishers Weekly

“The 8 Keys books series provides clear, concise, empirically supported evidence for anyone from beginners to experts; 8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise is certainly no exception to this mantra. . . . Dr. Hibbert works through the process of change with an array of exercises and reflection questions that ease even the most ambivalent reader into the process. . . . [A]n eye-opening read not only for those searching for the motivation to commit to adding exercise to their routine, but for anyone striving towards self-empowerment. Dr. Hibbert synthesizes a large body of research into a captivating argument for how and why exercise serves as an immensely powerful mechanism for improving mental wellbeing.” — Somatic Psychotherapy Today

“Exercise is essential in maintaining good health—both physical and mental. . . . Hibbert’s book should help readers stick with a successful plan.” — Booklist

“As a therapist, I’m a big proponent of exercise for its positive effects on mood. I frequently talk to my clients about the positive effect of exercise on the body and mind. But even when you know all the positives, you don’t always fully utilize exercise as a way to get or stay mentally well. This is why 8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise is such a useful tool. . . . [I]t’s full of reflection questions, writing prompts, and action items. . . . [G]reat for those of us who want to experience more of the benefits of exercise, but need a bit of help creating a plan and overcoming the mental blocks to doing so.” —PsychCentral

“These 8 keys hold the potential to change your life! In this wonderful book, Dr. Hibbert provides us with effective and easy-to-implement tools that allow the mind and the body to unite, change, and heal. A must-read for anyone seeking to change their bodies in a holistic way.” — Dr. Shefali Tsabary, clinical psychologist and New York Times bestselling author of The Conscious Parent

“Exercise is a magic pill for mental well-being; it clears your mind, calms your body, and makes you feel good about YOU and what you have accomplished. Dr. Hibbert has captured this mind-body connection, and why we must all move toward improved mental health through exercise.” — Kathy Kaehler, celebrity health, fitness, and nutrition expert and bestselling author

“A delightful synopsis of why exercise is so essential to our mental health. With a narrative that is both a pleasure to read and superbly sensitive to the common barriers that get in our way, Dr. Hibbert shows the reader how to harness the motivation for self-care and well-being. Hibbert’s clinical skills and down-to-earth guidance can make a believer out of the most resistant exerciser!” — Karen Kleiman, Founder and Director of The Postpartum Stress Center, author of Therapy and the Postpartum Woman

“I love this book because it combines solid research with practical, easy-to-follow steps to achieve the motivation and skills to exercise for better mental health. Being at your ‘personal best’ and, for parents, being a great role model to your children, means taking care of yourself first. If you’re serious about getting fit mentally and physically, this book will help you to flourish!” — Dr. Rosina McAlpine, parenting expert and author of Inspired Children; winwinparenting.com

“An incredible, accessible, and useful tool for ANYONE hoping to get exercising. Dr. Hibbert offers guidance, support, and tangible solutions to assist the reader through physical or mental roadblocks in order to strive to be their best self. I can’t imagine anyone finishing the book without finding themself an improved individual. I’m grateful it has been written so that more people can benefit from exercise and tackle it through these carefully designed steps.” — Dana Pieper, creator of EveryBody Fitness

 

Join me for one of my Upcoming Book Events!

Join me for one of my upcoming speaking or book-signing events.

Or if I’m coming to your area, contact me about scheduling a book club, workshop, fireside, or other smaller event at the same time! Email me using the form above, right; I’d love to connect!

For more information on booking me for a keynote or other speaking engagement, click here.

Dr Christina Hibbert, Upcoming Events, Summer 2016

 

 

 

 

8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise 

Supplemental Materials

 

Worksheets

Earthquake Assessment Chart, p. 37

Exercise Motivation Self-Evaluation, p. 94-5

Exercise 4 Mental Health SMART Goal-Setting Worksheet, p. 111-116

Thought Record, Part 1, p. 134

Thought Record, Part 1, Example, p. 137

Thought Record, part 2, p. 139

Thought Record, part 2, Example, p. 141

Exercise 4 Mental Health SMART Goal-Setting Worksheet, p. 111-116

My “Exercise 4 Mental Health Plan” Worksheet, p. 202-7

 

Videos

How to FEEL Powerful Emotions

Change Your Thoughts Using a Thought Record

Using Thought Record, Part 2

 

 

 

Join one of my Facebook Support Groups!

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Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com


With exercise for mental health, it should be a long, healthy, happy life!

 

 

 

 

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out my bestselling, award-winning memoir, This is How We Grow!
Available now at Amazon or Barnes & Noble!

 

 

 

"Who Am I Without You?" 52 Ways to Rebuild Self-Esteem After a Breakup; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #book #selfesteem #breakup #divorce

 My latest book, “Who Am I Without You,” is available now at
 TargetAmazonBarnes & NobleNew Harbinger, or your local bookseller!

 

 

 

Listen to my latest episode of “Motherhood” radio and “choose to grow through motherhood” with me!  Listen on demand/download the episode at WebTalkRadio.net, and/or visit iTunes to subscribe.

Listen to "Motherhood" with Dr. Christina Hibbert! Each week on WebTalkRadio.net & iTunes! www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #radio

Self-Esteem & Self-Worth: “Who Am I?” (Hint–You’re More Than You Think) Preview my NEW Book “Who Am I Without You”!

#SELFESTEEM & #SELFWORTH: "Who Am I?" Hint--you're more than you think! (Preview my new book, #WhoAmIWithoutYou!) www.DrChristinaHibbert.com
 
It’s time! My brand new book, Who Am I Without You, is being officially released this week! In honor of the book release, I’d love to share with you a preview of another one of my favorite chapters in this post. Hope it gives you a good feel for all you can learn about self-esteem, self-worth, and overcoming life’s toughest trials with a strong sense of who you truly are. (If you missed it, here’s a preview of Chapter 1.)
 
 
 
 
 

Chapter 22: Ask, “Who Am I?”

Hint—You’re More Than You Think.

“What a liberation to realize that the ‘voice in my head’ is not who I am. ‘

Who am I then?’ The one who sees that.”

~Eckhart Tolle

“Who Am I?” How would you answer this huge question?

I’ve asked clients and friends (and myself) many times, and I’ve heard all kinds of answers—“I’m a single mom,” “I’m an optimist,” “I’m a doctor,” “I’m an eternal soul,” “I’m trying to figure that out.” It’s how we introduce ourselves to people—“My name is so and so and I work as a such and such and I like doing this and that.” For many, it’s easy to answer: “I’m a short, blond, artist;” “I’m a mom, a nurse, and I have a passion for scrapbooking.” For others, it’s not so easy: “It’s something I ask myself all the time;” “I’m not sure who I am yet, but I am learning.”

The way I see it, there are two ways to answer the question, “Who am I?”: 1) with our head and heart, or 2) with our soul. The head and heart tell us some facts about who we are, but it’s the soul that answers the question, “Yes, but who are you, really?”

 

You are not how you look, how you feel, or what you think.

Short or tall, fair or dark, thin or not-so-thin—these describe your body. But are you your body? No. It’s part of you, but it’s definitely only part of the story.Preview my new book, #WhoAmIWithoutYou in this post, "Who Am I?" Hint--You're more than you think! www.DrchristinaHibbert.com

How about your feelings? They can certainly be powerful; at times, it can seem like they are you. Yet, emotions arise from all kinds of things—the weather, hormones, sleep or lack thereof, challenges, blessings. We’ve already discussed how emotions may come or go like the weather (chapter seven). You are so much more than your emotions.

Then, what about your thoughts? Our thoughts heavily influence how we feel, what we do, and even what we believe, it’s true. Many people get so caught up in their thoughts they actually believe they are those thoughts. Nope. We are not our thoughts. The fact that we can talk about our thoughts proves there’s more to us than what we think.

 

You are not your roles.

“I am darn-tough/” target=”_blank”>a mother.” “I am a teacher.” “I am a partner.” We tend to focus heavily on our roles. This can be especially tough after a breakup when suddenly, “I’m a wife,” or “I’m a girlfriend” no longer applies. Roles are helpful in categorizing our lives. They help us understand our responsibilities and fulfill them. Roles give us a certain simplicity to life, but roles change, don’t they? As you are going through life transition, you’re surely feeling that. You are not your roles.

 

You are not what you do.

Many of us get caught up in what we do—or don’t do. We take on the identity of a “successful business woman” or “a runner” or “an animal lover.” For instance, I am a psychologist. It is heavily ingrained in the way I think and act in the world. I have a strong curiosity to comprehend how we humans work, and I have a natural ability to understand and have compassion for others. These things make me good at what I do, but do they define who I am? No. They’re just part of how I express myself in this world.

 

Who are you—in your soul?

So, if none of these things we think with our head or feel with our heart gives us the full picture, then I ask again, “Who are you, really?”

This is a question that can only be answered with the soul—with that deeper part of you, that timeless, ingrained knowing that you are more than meets the eye. As we work to discover your sense of self-worth, you will feel that bigger, eternal part of yourself, and you will know that your potential is endless and your ability to love is immense. You will come to know the real you—not the you everyone sees or hears or thinks they know, but the you that was created for a great purpose. You will begin to see yourself as God sees you, and that is true self-worth.

 

Integrating the mind, heart, and soul of who you are.

As we move into how to build unwavering self-esteem, it can help to see who you think and feel you are, because the more you see of yourself and how you are in the world, the more you can integrate it with who you really are, deep in your soul.

That’s what we’re working toward here—to hear what you’re saying in your head and feeling in your heart, and then bring them in line with what you experience in your soul. Are these three areas saying the same thing about who you are? Do you like what you are hearing?

 

Bottom line…

  • “Who am I?” is a huge question, and we tend to answer it with our head or our heart.
  • We are not our roles, our feelings, our thoughts, or behaviors. However, these things can help us understand ourselves better when integrated with the truth from our soul.

 

Tool: Ask, “Who am I?”

  • Head: Grab your journal or a paper and pen and sit in a quiet space. Create your “who am I” list. Write out all the titles and roles and qualities your head tells you that you are. Don’t judge, just list.

Self-Esteem After a Breakup, Divorce, or Relationship Loss: “You’re not alone”

Self-Esteem After a Breakup, Divorce, or Relationship Loss: "You're Not Alone." A preview of chapter 1 of Dr. Christina Hibbert's new book, Who Am I Without You? www.DrchristinaHibbert.com This post is adapted from my new book, Who Am I Without You? with New Harbinger Publications, coming March 1, 2015 (and available for pre-order now)!

In fact, this post is a preview of chapter one.

If you’re going through a breakup, divorce, or relationship loss, then this post [and the book] are for you. If you have a loved one going through it, then this is the perfect gift.

 
 

“I think this is what we all want to hear: that we are not alone in hitting the bottom, and that it is possible to come out of that place courageous, beautiful, and strong.”
~Anna White

 

Relationship loss—we’ve all experienced it, or will at some point. I’m no exception. I may not have experienced your exact heartache or circumstances, but trust me: I understand loss. I’m here to help you through.

 
 

You’re not alone.

Knowing you’re not alone is one of the most important things when a relationship ends, because it can feel very alone. It can feel like, “No one gets how I feel right now.” You’re right: No one does understand exactly how you feel. We each have our unique experience of loss after a breakup. However, it’s also true you may be feeling many of the same things women have been feeling for years, and that can actually be freeing.

 
 
If you feel broken from your breakup or loss, “You’re not alone.”

Experiencing a breakup is a universal loss. Sad but true, breakups and divorce are one of the most common human experiences. Just look at the statistics:

• 40-50% of marriages end in divorce in the United States (APA website, 2013).

• For second marriages, the divorce rate is 60-65%, and third marriages, 72-74% (Divorce Statistics website, 2013).

• Though there aren’t any solid statistics on breakups, some estimate one-third of women have experienced a significant breakup in the past ten years.

 

Whether you’re young or old, divorcing or splitting from your boyfriend; whether it ended civilly or with a text that said, “Sorry, babe. It’s over,” it still hurts. Considering these statistics, there are a lot of hurting women out there.

You’re not alone.

 
 

If your self-esteem has taken a hit after your breakup, “You’re not alone.”

How is your self-esteem right now? If you’re fresh from a breakup, I would guess it’s at an all-time low. Take this brief assessment and see for yourself.

Self-Esteem Assessment

Directions: Place a check mark beside all sentences that apply to you right now.

1) I feel confident most of the time._____
2) I often think negatively about myself._____
3) I feel worthy of love._____
4) I am fearful of or sensitive to rejection._____
5) I accept my flaws and work on them._____
6) I give others’ opinions of me more weight than my own._____
7) I take good care of myself and tend to my needs._____
8) I often compare myself, my life, or my relationships to others._____
9) I feel attractive._____
10) I feel like other people don’t accept me._____
11) I feel capable of achieving success in my life._____
12) I often feel fearful or anxious, especially around others._____
13) I often think positively about myself._____
14) I feel inadequate or inferior to others._____
15) I embrace my strengths and my weaknesses._____
16) I am concerned, and often critical, about my body and looks._____
17) I feel comfortable in social situations._____
18) I have difficulty trusting others._____
19) I understand who I really am, and I like me._____
20) I am a perfectionist._____

Scoring:
Give yourself one point for every odd number you checked, and one point for every even number you did not check. Add up your score. Then, compare, below.

Results:
20-16: High Self-Esteem
Your self-esteem seems strong, especially considering all you’ve been going through. This doesn’t mean you don’t have a thing or two to learn about self-worth and self-esteem, but it does mean you’re starting off in pretty great shape.

15-11: High Average Self-Esteem
You have your moments when you feel “less than,” but overall, your self-esteem is okay. There’s room for improvement, but you’ve got a foundation on which to build.

10-6: Low Average Self-Esteem
You struggle with self-esteem, or at least, you’re struggling now. Don’t worry, though. That’s what this book is for: to show you how to improve.

5-0: Low Self-Esteem
Your self-esteem has definitely taken a hit—either from your breakup, or from earlier in life. You’re not the only one who struggles, however, and you’re certainly not beyond hope. Together, we will help you discover the truth about who you are and rebuild your sense of self-worth.

 
 
If you feel like no one’s on your side, you’re wrong. (Did I mention, “You’re Not Alone?”)

I’m here. Or rather, this post (and my new book) is here—with my words, encouragement, comfort, motivation, direction, and yes, love. You can visit this post (or the book) any time and know that as I write these words for you, I do so out of respect and admiration for your willingness to work through your heartache. I do so out of a desire for you to know you’re not alone. One day, you’ll be flourishing in life and love again.

 
 
Tool: Examine your true feelings.

1) When I say, “You’re Not Alone,” how do you really feel? Do you believe me? Do you have doubts? Write about this in your journal or notebook.

2) How do you feel about your self-esteem assessment score? In what ways might your self-esteem be impacted by your breakup? Did you struggle with self-esteem previously? Can you relate to any of the things I wrote about above, like feeling “less than” or “unlovable”? Why or why not? Write it down.

(Excerpt from Who Am I Without You, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, with New Harbinger Publications.)

 
 

"Who Am I Without You?" 52 Ways to Rebuild Self-Esteem After a Breakup; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com #book #selfesteem #breakup #divorce

Pre-order Who Am I Without You at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, New Harbinger, or your local bookseller!

Coming March 1, 2015!

 
 

Dr. Christina Hibbert www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

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#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now at Amazon or Barnes & Noble!

 

 

Self-Esteem After a Breakup, Divorce, or Relationship Loss: "You're Not Alone." A preview of chapter 1 of Dr. Christina Hibbert's new book, Who Am I Without You? www.DrchristinaHibbert.com

 

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“This is How We Grow:” Understanding the Seasons of Personal Growth

 

10 Ways I Choose to Grow Each Day 

Personal Growth & Self-Actualization: What Will Your Choice Be?

“These are my Strengths!” and “This is my Lame-O List!”: How to Embrace Strengths & Weaknesses

Parenting Success: It’s More about the Parent than the Child

Learning Self-Love: 5 Tricks for Treating Yourself More Kindly

10 Benefits of Practicing Gratitude

Living a Life of Purpose & Meaning: The Key to true Happiness

Mom Mental Health (part 2): HOW to Get “Alone Time” (25+ Strategies!)

Mom Mental Health (part 2) -HOW to Get Alone Time (25+ Strategies!); www.DrChristinaHibbert.comIn part 1, we discussed the importance of “alone time” for mom mental health and happiness. Today, we focus on HOW to actually make that happen.

 

HOW to get “Alone Time”

That’s the number one thing I hear from moms when I’m helping them learn to prioritize alone time: “I know I need it. I desperately want it, but it feels impossible to actually make it happen.” Believe me, after 18 years of marriage, 17 years of parenting, and six kids of various ages and stages, I know this feeling well. But I can also attest that it’s NOT impossible. It just takes a little work to get the alone time you need.

 

There are basically 2 steps…

Step 1: Prioritize and commit to alone time. We talked all about this in part 1, so if you’re not convinced, go check it out and keep rereading until you are! The truth is you will never get alone time until you make it a priority. It’s a sad truth, but so it is. No one else can do it for you; you have to take the lead and work to make it happen.

 

Step 2: Gather support. Even if you want to make it happen, it usually won’t happen all by yourself. You need support. Here are some tips to gather it…

Watch this 3-Minute Therapy video on my YouTube channel on Motherhood Mental Health: How to Get “Alone Time,” then, keep reading, below!

[stream provider=youtube flv=http%3A//www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DxLHujqmLR-4 img=x:/img.youtube.com/vi/xLHujqmLR-4/0.jpg embed=false share=false width=640 height=360 dock=true controlbar=over bandwidth=high autostart=false responsive=16:9 /]

 

Get your husband/partner on board.

When I posted part 1 on the importance of alone time the other day, I heard several FB comments like, “Can someone please get my husband on board with this? Lol.” I know some partners are more likely to get on board than others, but these suggestions can help:

  • Validate his need for “alone time,” too. It definitely helps when he feels like you’re on board with what he needs (i.e. time for sports, to hang with friends, to do whatever he loves). Help him see how you need this, too. When you’re both able to get a break, it only makes you stronger—individually, as parents, and as a couple. (Read Couples & Romantic Love: 9 Ways to Improve Intimacy in Relationships)
  •  Help him see the benefits of your time away. Come back happier, grateful, and refreshed, and he’ll begin to see that everyone benefits when mom is whole again. (My husband has literally pushed me out the door or into my room at times for this very reason. “You need to go away now, and I know you’ll feel better, and so will we all,” he says. This, of course is after years of teaching him.) (Read 17 Ways to Make Marriage Work)

 

Get your friends/family on board.

Especially if you are a single mom or have an unsupportive partner, this is important, but it’s really important for all of us.

  • If you live near family, ask them to help watch your kids or drive them to activities so you can get a couple hours alone.
  • Start a babysitting co-op with several friends. You each put in your time, then you get hours that are all for you—to do a project, relax, or go have some fun.
  •  Hire babysitting help. Sometimes you have to pay for a break, but believe me, it’s worth the money to keep yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually strong and happy.

 

Get your kids on board. As your kids grow, they need to learn about the importance of mom alone time, too. It not only helps you get the time you need; it shows them how to get their own needs met, too.

  • If you have a baby, nap times have to be “down time” for you. If you also have older children, then it becomes quiet time for everyone. Even children as young as two or three can learn to lie down, listen to quiet music, look at books, or play quietly in their beds while you get a break in your room.
  • As kids grow, teach them why alone time matters. Teach them how we all need a break sometimes, and why this is what you need. Encourage them to take breaks and seek alone time when they feel overwhelmed or stressed, too. Kids are so over-connected these days, with electronics, they need to learn how to spend time thinking, feeling, experiencing real life. I tell my kids all the time, “It’s good to be alone sometimes. If you’re bored, good. It’s good to be bored because it gives you time to figure things out.” (ReadParenting Success: It’s More About the Parent Than the Child)
  • Older kids can definitely be taught to respect your alone time. Help them see how much better you are after you get a little time away. Make a deal: “If you leave mom alone for an hour, I’ll come out and play after, or take you somewhere, etc.” I also educate my kids all the time, “Let me have my time or ‘mean mom’ is gonna show up.” They know all about “mean mom,” and how she gets when she’s way too tired. They’ve learned to let me be.
  • Older kids and teens can also help by watching younger siblings, taking them to the park or away for a “date,” and helping fill the gaps when you’re taking a break. My oldest son who drives takes my littlest (or even all the kids) away for ice cream, to the park, or even our to lunch sometimes. She loves the time she gets to spend with her older brothers, and I love the time I get to spend alone. (Read Parenting Teens: Am I Doing a Good Enough Job?)

 

 

Other Tips/Strategies/Crazy Suggestions that just might work…

 For You

I love this picture I took on our family trip to Mexico. Even during "family time," it's good to take a little "mom time."

I love this picture I took on our family trip to Mexico. Even during “family time,” it’s good to take a little “mom time.”

  • This is important: You must actually ASK for help with your alone time. Don’t expect him to just figure it out. “I looked OJ in the eye and said the words today,” I write in This is How We Grow. “’I need help. I need a break.’ It’s one lesson I’ve learned well. If I don’t ask, it won’t happen.” (p. 343)
  • There’s no set amount of time away that works for everyone, and at different stages of life your needs and ability to get what you need will change. With newborns, it may just be 15 minutes sitting outside, writing in your journal, or a couple hours going to Target (until baby needs to eat again). With older kids, you can definitely shoot for an hour a day most days or a few hours a week. And eventually, you can get away for a few days either as a couple, with friends, or yes, even all alone. (Read Recharge: Lessons Learned from Solitude)
  • Do what’s right for you. Not everyone has the same “alone time” needs, so figure out what yours are, and then get them met. Though it may feel hard to do, it really is that simple.

 

Husbands/partners

  • When first starting out, try time-for-time. My husband and I started this when our kids were little. If he went golfing for five hours on Friday, I got five hours on Saturday to spend however I wanted.
  • As kids grow older and your understanding of mutual alone time matures, you can forget time-for-time and instead just focus on helping each other take breaks as needed. After 18 years of marriage, my husband is the first to encourage me to go into my room and rest, to threaten the kids to leave me alone when I need a break, and to suggest I take a little time away from home for a day or two when I really need a break. In return, I support his frequent golf tournaments, trips, and time with buddies playing basketball or dirt biking. We’re both so much happier when we get a little time to recharge.
  • Be patient and keep working on it. Even if your hubby is willing to be in charge, it doesn’t mean it will always work. I’ve had so many times when he was supposedly in charge of the kids but they were constantly sneaking past him, interrupting “my” time. He’s finally learned to set up a barrier and pay a little closer attention, but be patient. As long as they’re trying, encourage them to keep at it.
  • After he comes home, give him some time to relax for a bit, then trade off and hand the kids over. He can sit with the baby while you take a bath, and yes, he can even take turns putting the kids to bed so you can be “free” for a night.

 

Friends/Family

  • Start a preschool co-op with young children where each mom takes turns teaching for a week. This can give you several weeks off for at least a few hours.
  • Get away with your significant other for a weekend of romance, fun, and/or relaxation by enlisting family members to watch your kids.
  • Ask for “babysitting coupons” as holiday/birthday gifts. My parents always give me a “weekend of babysitting” for my birthday now, and believe me that is way more valuable to me than any store-bought gift could be (especially because, with six kids it’s hard to find anyone else willing to stay with them! Except my fabulous mother-in-law, of course)

 

KidsMom Mental Health (part 2): HOW to Get Alone Time (25+Strategies!) (+video); www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

  • I admit, I have locked myself in my bathroom or closet several times just to get a few minutes of quiet. Even ifthey’re crying outside the door, sometimes those few minutes can get me recentered enough to go back out and handle things with grace.
  • Ever since my youngest learned to read, we’ve also started using sticky notes. My husband posted this one, right, last weekend, when I was desperate for a good night’s sleep. I slept for 11 hours straight! A miracle! And when my hormones come to wreak havoc on my emotions I’ve been known to post a “Quarantine” sign: “Do not come in, or you will suffer the consequences.” All my family members have learned to respect that sign.
  • Time-for-time can also work for kids. Explain you’ll give them x amount of quality time together or doing what
    One Saturday, after my kids had helped me get a little time alone, I took them for a family bike ride. I win. They win. We all win when mom gets time alone.

    One Saturday, after my kids had helped me get a little time alone, I took them for a family bike ride. I win. They win. We all win when mom gets time alone.

    they love if they help you get x amount of time for you. Win-win. (Also, try this: Give Kids the first 10 minutes!)

  • And yes, movies and TV shows can be great to buy you a little time. A lot of moms feel guilty plopping kids in front of the tube, but remember this is buying you mental health and happiness. And there’s nothing more important for kids’ growth and development than a healthy, happy mom.

 

What helps you get “alone time?” Share your strategies and thoughts by leaving a comment, below!

Read Part 1: Mom Mental Health (& Happiness)-The Importance of Alone Time

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com!

 

Mom Mental Health (part 2) -HOW to Get Alone Time (25+ Strategies!); www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

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“The Pyramid of Self-Worth”: Step 3–Practice Self-Love (& video)

"The Pyramid of Self-Worth": Step 3--Practice Self-Love (& video); www.DrChristinaHibbert.comIt sounds simple, yet so many of us get stuck on this one. Some think, “I love myself,” then, hesitantly wonder, “Don’t I?” Others believe, “I don’t love myself enough” or “I’m not even sure how.” (If you missed parts 1-3 of this series on How to Feel Self Worth, catch up here.)

Self-love is at the core of feeling self-worth, so it’s imperative we each learn to love ourselves more completely. It would be easy for me to therefore say, “Go love yourself,” and leave it at that. But I know from experience that for many of us, knowing how to “love yourself” can feel downright tricky.

 

What Self-Love is NOT

Before we can practice self-love, we must understand what self-love means. First, let’s get clear on what self-love is NOT:

Self-love is NOT…"The Pyramid of Self-Worth": Step 3--Practice Self-Love; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

  • Selfishness. It’s not selfish to love yourself. In fact, selfishness involves very little self-love.
  • Narcissism. Self-love is not narcissistic either. Narcissists don’t actually know how to love themselves—or others, really.
  • The opposite of other-love. Nope. Self-love is an important part of loving others. You will never fully love others until you learn to love yourself. You cannot give what you do not already possess.

 

What Self-Love IS, & How to Practice Self-Love

Then what IS self-love? The way I see it, self-love has four important elements, and when we’re able to focus on and practice each of these, we begin to experience true self-love and feel our true self-worth.

Watch this 3-Minute Therapy video on my YouTube channel on “Feeling Self-Worth: Step 3, Self-Love.” Then, continue reading, below.

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Self-love IS…

 

  • Self-Compassion (developing loving thoughts and feelings about yourself). I love the concept of self-compassion. It takes into account all of who we are—our good and not so good—and allows us to apply a loving hand when we most need it. As self-compassion researcher and author, Kristen Neff, writes, “Compassion, then, involves the recognition and clear seeing of suffering. It also involves feelings of kindness for people who are suffering, so that the desire to help—to ameliorate suffering—emerges. Finally, compassion involves recognizing our shared human condition, flawed and fragile as it is…Self-compassion, by definition, involves the same qualities.”[i] When we exhibit self-compassion, we choose to think and feel kindly toward ourselves, despite our suffering and mistakes. It allows us to see we’re just like everyone else—perfectly flawed—and it allows us to touch our flawed nature with self-love. Self-compassion stems from our thoughts—we choose to think with kindness and compassion about ourselves. (More on this, read “Perfect?” or “Fake”: 8 Myths about Perfectionism & 8 Truths to Cure It)

 

  • Self-Kindness (doing nice things for yourself). Beyond taking care of yourself and practicing self-compassion, it’s also important to do nice things for yourself. For some, this may mean giving yourself a break by getting someone to watch your kids for you, or letting yourself go for a hike with friends instead of cleaning the house. It may mean getting a massage for a sore back, savoring a tasty treat, watching your favorite TV show, or finally booking that long-overdue vacation. It may be as simple as telling yourself you look terrific when you look in the mirror, smiling and shaking it off when you make a mistake, or reminding yourself, “I am a good person.” A good question to ask is, “What would I do to show kindness to someone else?” Then, do that for yourself. (For more on this, read Learning Self-Love: 5 Tricks for Treating Yourself More Kindly)

 "The Pyramid of Self-Worth": Step 3--Practice Self-Love; www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

  • Letting others love you. Let down your walls and let the love in. Letting love in not only builds strong, healthy relationships that reinforce your self-love, it creates a stronger healthier YOU. Let others do kind things for you to show you their love. These small acts of kindness and love can make a big impact if you will let them into your heart. Practice receiving a compliment with a simple, “Thank you.” When others ask if they can help or serve you, say, “Yes, that would be wonderful.” Even returning a smile from a stranger can help the walls come down and the love begin to enter our hearts. And listen: if you think no one loves you, you’re wrong. Look around you. Seek to open up a little bit more each day and let the kindness of others plant the seeds of love in your heart. It’s one of the kindest things you can do for yourself. (For more on this, read 10 Ways to Let Love In & 5 Things I Know For Sure About Love)

 

 

Build Your Sense of Self-Worth:

Self-Love Tools

1)    Practice Self-Care, as described above and here.

2)    Practice Self-Compassion: Listen to what you say to yourself throughout each day. Are you compassionate when things go wrong? What would the compassionate response be, instead? Work to replace negative or hurtful thoughts with your new compassionate alternatives.

3)    Practice Self-Kindness: Each day, do one kind thing for yourself. It might be a nap, or time out with your friends, or it might be a massage, or a little extra sleep. It might, and should, often include choosing to believe the compassionate thoughts and feelings you’re attempting to create.

4)    Read, “Learning Self-Love: 5 Tricks for Treating Yourself More Kindly,” for more ideas.

Join me next week for the final part of this 5-part series on How to Feel Self-Worth. SUBSCRIBE, below, so you won’t miss a thing!

(Part 1) How to Feel Self-Worth: The Pyramid of Self-Worth

(Part 2) “The Pyramid of Self-Worth”: Step 1, Self-Awareness

(Part 3) “The Pyramid of Self-Worth”: Step 2, Self-Acceptance

How do you practice self-love? What gets in your way? Share your thoughts on this important topic by leaving a comment, below!

#1 Amazon Bestseller, This Is How We Grow, by Dr. Christina Hibbert, Available now on Amazon.com! www.ThisIsHowWeGrow.com
Be sure to check out Dr. Hibbert’s Amazon Bestseller, This is How We Grow
available now on Amazon.com!

 

 

"The Pyramid of Self-Worth": Step 3--Practice Self-Love (& video); www.DrChristinaHibbert.com

Join my  This is How We Grow Personal Growth Group!

FREE. Online. Growth. What more could you ask for?

Don’t miss a thing! 

SUBSCRIBE, just below, “like” my Facebook pages (Dr. Christina HibbertThis Is How We Grow), and follow me on Twitter,Pinterest, & Instagram!

 You may manage your subscription options from your profile

 

 

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